Here's the Problem With Being a Writer With ADHD

I'm trying really hard not to let my ADHD impact my ability to write. I want to write. I like writing. I want to do it full-time.

Recently, I decided to try a writing job that could potentially be a good money earner. I'm writing entertainment news. It's pretty basic. But it's not.

Every news site has their own rules like what kinds of pictures you can use and how many links to include in the piece. It's just a bunch of little rules but they are important.

Also, news writing is very particular. You have to be careful not to insert your own opinion. Sounds easy enough, right? But the thing is, you can come across as sharing your opinion, even if you don't mean to.

In the ADHD brain, new does not equal good

I like things to be the same. I like doing things the way I'm used to doing them. Doing new things means I have to put a huge amount of effort into learning how to do them.

I know - everyone has to learn new things, sometimes.

The problems arise when I don't learn them right away.

First, my ADHD brain thinks I should be able to do it right the first time. It's not rocket science. It's just a few rules that are important, but on their own, they aren't huge. Shouldn't be hard to remember.

Unfortunately, the more I have to remember, the more likely it is that I will not remember at least some of them. I've got my list in front of me but somehow, I always miss out on something. And then I get mad at myself.

And then, of course, someone will tell me I forgot or missed this or that or the other thing. And I'm already irritated with myself for forgetting things on the last piece I did, so when I'm told I forgot something else, I totally lose focus - and likely forget something else!

I understand that I'm learning and I'm going to miss things and someone is going to have to tell me that I missed something. However, there's this thing that ADHD people experience a lot called rejection dysphoria.

In my mind, it means that I'm a horrible writer and that I am just not cut out for this job and I should probably just quit before I get fired. In my mind, it means my editors hate me and wish I'd never started writing with them. In my mind, they are all trying to figure out how to tell me that I suck and should go find something else to do - preferably on someone else's site.

I know I should stick it out

I know that this is just emotional dysregulation and rejection dysphoria. It's really my ADHD.

The reason I know this is because this is exactly what I went through when I started my serving job - the one I now love and do great at (most of the time). When I started, I truly believed I was doing a horrible job, that everyone hated working with me, and that it was just a matter of time before I got fired.

But I hung in there. I kept working at it and pretty soon, I was doing better, messing up less, forgetting less, and generally doing well.

I know that if I stick with this, it's going to just click inside my brain at some point and I'm going to forget less stuff and do better at writing the articles. I'm going to get faster at writing them and I'm probably going to be glad I hung in there.

Unfortunately, my ADHD brain doesn't believe that at the moment and is busy convincing me I am pathetic. So, I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to go and do something I know I'm good at.

What do you do when your brain (ADHD or otherwise) is not being nice to you?