Dear Future Me,

5MAR2021; 0005, FRI

Well, I'm just chillaxin on the couch jamming out to a Noname playlist on the first Friday of this year's Women's History Month, and it occurred to me that I've never written a letter to my future self specifically. In the interest of full disclosure, I likely would've never embarked on this particular time capsule had it not been for the phenomenal e-newsletter The Morning Brew and one of their verticals, Sidekick (formerly known as The Essentials).

That's one decent product of this hellish pandemic, I reckon. In any event, I'm finna go ahead and do a cannonball so as to get down to brass tacks.

Without further ado:

Dear Future Me,

Peace and love! First and foremost, I'm praying that you're well and that you have been thriving in general, regardless of what the global economy is or isn't doing.

Of course, we both know that the house of cards was supposed to come crashing down with the housing market crisis of '08. However, as Noname said back in 2016 on her classic interlude, "Freedom", off the mixtape Telefone, that's a "sentiment for a different song."

Before I forget, it's LG's Born Day today. Prayerfully, you two are BFFs again, or at least on speaking terms again, and you remembered to call and/or text to express well wishes just after the clock struck "Midnight In A Perfect World" (DJ Shadow on his debut album, '96's Entroducing..... [sic]).

Then again, maybe you have a new right hand man and/or a whole "squad" of peeps that are down for whatever whenever. Either which way, it's my hope that you and your homies are a bunch of "sheepdogs" in a world that is likely still full of sheep, wolves, and wolves in sheep's clothing; to reference the late, great Navy SEAL Chris Kyle and his biopic starring Bradley Cooper, American Sniper.

At any rate, I wonder if you still look just like your old man and how much your offspring resemble you. Did your daughters take your younger brother Denzel's advice and save the babies for after marriage?

Speaking of which, were you able to father a couple of sons like you always wanted to; in order to help Denny's little man carry on the family's name? Or better yet, did you finally "jump the broom" with an elegant and honorable young queen like that friend of the Fam who you've been crushing on since forever; and whom you prayed would someday give you a couple more little ones to rear wisely?

If so, were you able to name any of them after the dearly departed in the fam? Are you still blogging and/or rehashing some of the more hilarious family stories?

Did you ever get those properties in Puerto Rico and/or master Latin American Spanish? What about the MasterCard made mostly of pure gold that you've been keeping your eye on?

Are you still pushing the Mitsubishi or did you finally cop the black Tesla that you've been joking about? Did your tee shirt biz finally take off?

Speaking of biz, you still installing wall mount TVs, ceiling fans, and dimmer switches with the fam? Are you meditating daily?

Did The Rona finally subside completely? Were you able to keep your precious princesses from getting the Covax?

Well, considering that that last query put this letter at almost exactly 420 words (at least on the first draft) and we complete another trip around the sun every 4/20, were you and your cohorts able to completely end the federal prohibition of marijuana? If so, do you light up on our Born Day every year?

That's enough questions for two or three letters I reckon. With that being said, here are some facts and figures and such:

As of now it's been years since you've gotten high, ate meat, or drank alcohol. You have about sixty or so published blog posts as of now.

You still have yet to have any accidents with the Mitsubishi somehow after approximately six months and almost always being stuck in traffic, as our bio indicates. Your most expensive shirt on our site right now is less than $25 (not including s&h [shipping and handling]), and that's only the approximate price tag if you get it in the largest available size.

Well, this Noname playlist is almost over and I refuse to send you a rough draft. Also, another grave shift coming up later today, so we're finna need some rest after this piece gets submitted.

As the headline of our site currently reads, "Stay blessed (and free)!"

Peaceful Tidings,

Darrius Unity

P.S.- I love this pic of us, despite the botched gig line; and I bet that you still remember this night relatively well, even tho there's no drank in our cup. Either way, more power to ya and peace for now.

***

Prayerfully, someone somewhere gets something from this post, and please think about considering a Like/Tip/Share if that somebody is you. Also, if you might could be open to checking out my new site, here's the link:

PeacefulTidings.com

Thanks for the support!