Cracking The Code To Fear

What’s the biggest thing that scares you? Is it something that crawls along your skin? Is it something eerie like clowns, ghosts, or darkness? Or perhaps it’s something more adventurous like cliff diving or skydiving? Or maybe it’s something internal instead of external? The fear that is rooted inside of us is what makes us afraid of certain things so we avoid it at all costs. These fears are way to scary to face. So in our minds we say, “no way”.

Here’s where it gets interesting.

Will Smith had a different strategy in dealing with fear. His way of thinking left me fascinated. A year ago I came across a video of him talking about fear and how he overcame it. I was instantly intrigued by his message and his story. As human beings, we often face this same struggle with fear. After watching the video I figured I could share his story to help other people who deal with this same issue.

Being fearless is a pretty bold thing to take on. We might not be prepared to deal with what scares us and this is totally understandable. While we may feel anxious, there is still hope to challenge ourselves in what feels intimidating.

“The first step is you have to say that you can.” — Will Smith

Here’s Will Smith’s take on fear.

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Will Smith talks about his fearful experience skydiving in a sit-down interview. The day before he went skydiving, he drunk and hung out with a few of his friends. They exchanged laughter and everyone talked. Randomly out of nowhere, his friends begin to talk about going skydiving together. Will Smith agreed to the decision along with the rest of his friends.

He figured it wasn’t something serious since everyone was drunk, including himself. (I mean how many times have we said or done things while we were drunk and completely forgot the next day?) Once he was alone he thought to himself, “Everyone was drunk so we don’t really have to go, do we?” He began to second guess his decisions.

He explains, “I was in my bed terrified, filled with fear. I was thinking about what it would be like jumping out of an airplane. The same cycle repeated itself over and over again in my head. I had the worst night sleep of my life. I was hoping that my friends were still drunk and didn’t mean what they were saying.”

The next day he had awoken and met up with everyone at the destined location in Dubai. He explained how he felt physically — saying that his stomach felt terrible. He felt like he couldn’t eat.

“Terror, terror, terror, terror.” He says.

He and his friends arrived on the airplane. They are placed 14,000 feet in the sky. He notices that all of his friends are still going and no one is stopping. They all dive out of the airplane. He did not want to look like the weak link of the group so he decided to keep pressing forward. Fear did not hold him back.

He noticed there were lights on the plane that were red, yellow, and green. In his mind, he wondered what would happen next when the light went green. It was like he was looking down to death.

“In just one second I realized, that it’s the most blissful feeling of my life. It didn’t feel like I was falling. I was flying. I was held by the wind. There was zero fear. I realized that the point of maximum danger is the point of minimum fear. It’s bliss.”

“At that moment where you’re supposed to be terrified is the most blissful feeling of your life. Then 20 seconds.. 25 seconds.. 40 seconds, you get to see the most beautiful things. God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.”

The lesson for him was wondering why he was so scared the night before. He thought, “What do I need that fear for?” He didn’t understand why he was scared 16 hours before he jumped off the airplane. He was scared in the car as well. He did not get to enjoy breakfast in the morning. He did not understand what he was fearful of.

He goes on to say, “There’s no actual reason to be scared, it just ruins your day. The other side of your maximum fear is the best things in life. Forget security. Live with expense.”

“Take a daily confrontation with fear. Dealing with fear is an absolute magical way of facing the things we have to do in this life. The problem with fear is that it lies. Fear creates a places for mind games and manipulation. Fear tells you dumb things. Life isn’t how many breaths you take, but it’s the moments that take your breath away.”

The Code of Fear

“Fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” — Will Smith

With this quote in mind, Will Smith’s thoughts created room for fear in his mind. His thoughts were not as real as he thought they were. It was almost like his mind was producing an illusion of terror. Fear made him think about the what if’s and what could possibly happen. He replayed the same scenario in his mind repeatedly like an ongoing record player.

When I was about twelve years old I was sleeping in my Aunts room. She had this mirror I considered to be creepy. I was sleeping one night and woke up around 3am, only to get a glimpse of the mirror with a woman in a black dress standing there staring at me. I quickly tossed the blanket over my head in shock, eventually going back to sleep to avoid confrontation with what scared me. Around 5am she was no longer there. There’s another crazy story where I thought I seen Santa Claus and Jesus at the same time, in the middle of the night again. Everything was bright but it too disappeared, minutes later.

I’m not saying that this stuff isn’t real to some people but now that I look back at it, it all seems like one big illusion. Fear is good for doing that. (When you are a kid especially). You will think the worst and limit yourself because of it. Fear restrains you from soaring and reaching new levels.

Will Smith’s fearful way of thinking restricted him from sleeping, eating, and drinking. He was not able to process his thoughts accordingly. He chose to live in fear. The moment he jumped out of the airplane, fear no longer existed.

He pushed himself beyond his limits. On the other side of fear is where he got to experience real joy.

Just like his experience, there are many of us who choose to live in fear. I'm still afraid to swim after my near-death drowning experience at twelve years old. I get in pools, lakes, and oceans and somehow still travel to the deep end as if I am a professional swimmer in the Olympics. There is slight bravery in being in the water and I prop myself for that but it's been a long time since I’ve touched below the surface. I want to learn how to swim. No matter how afraid I am. If others can do it, hell, I can too.

We aren’t living out our full purpose. It's so much easier to box ourselves into what we're capable of doing and what we are not capable of doing. We live by this common moral when there's room for much more expansion. Every thought you tell yourself is not necessarily true. It's what you choose to believe and we don't care enough to do anything about it. Safety is more comfortable then facing fear because it is uncomfortable. We don't want any relations to that.

Facing your fears will always feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Fearful thoughts can fill your mind and keep you stagnant or it can exert you to new heights. In the end, it’s a decision you get to decide. I believe you can do it but you have to believe it too.

Will Smith decided to take a different approach despite all the fear he felt deep inside. He faced a new challenge. He showed up and battled against what he was afraid of. He chose bravery over fear.

“Life is lived on the edge.” — Will Smith

References

Inspiring Interview of Will Smith on December 2016 — How To Face Fear. (2016, December 10). Retrieved January 04, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRpi1NwHOac