Compartmentalization
The Unhealthy Truth
What does it mean when someone compartmentalizes?
Compartmentalizing is an internal process of putting your feelings toward someone, or some experience, in a box, and putting them on a shelf in the back of your mind to be forgotten, or stirred up when something reminds you they're there. It's a defense mechanism for those that are better at just pushing forward or moving on. It allows them to not deal with, come to terms with or even accept the issue at hand.
Just because we do not deal with the present issue doesn't make it go away.
For me, I compartmentalize events; the death of my grandparents, my prison time, my parent's separation as a kid. I compartmentalize situations; not being able to see or talk to my sons, not having my own space, or having a broken heart. It's hard for me to deal with pain. So whatever situation that I feel is hurtful is placed in a box and put up on a shelf to deal with later, or never.
The superpower to compartmentalize is not something to envy, and it is certainly not a skill that you should acquire. It can be very damaging to your mental health.
When you place too many hurtful events or situations in a box, that box will eventually overflow. Those feelings and emotions that you didn't want to face or deal with are now at the surface. You are forced to deal with the things that you should have dealt with long ago. The issue with this is, those are wounds that have never healed...they are just scabbed over.
Surprise, you are bleeding again.
The boxes on my shelf are many. I didn't deal with or come to terms with my time in prison until just recently, and that happened over eight years ago. My last relationship broke me in more ways that I care to admit. Not being able to see or talk to my sons is the most recent box that I have placed on that shelf.
Facing what's going on around you can be hard, and what's going on in the world has a lot of us closing our eyes and clicking our heels in hopes that it will go away. We must open our eyes and see where we are. We need to feel where we are. We need to be exactly where we are in order to heal.
Compartmentalization only allows us to move on for the moment. It only allows us to move on until something triggers a memory that takes us back to the box that we placed on that shelf.
So, what do we do now?
We face our fears and we feel. We talk about why it is that we feel the way that we feel. We accept the pain or hurt that this event, person, or situation has caused us. We then forgive and we let it go.
Truth is that compartmentalization is unhealthy. You are pretending that you are well and good when internally you are far from it. Who are you really pretending for? Self-care is the best care. Find a safe place where you can express these feelings and emotions. You have to get these emotions and feelings out before you boil over.
So, my advice to you and to myself is to take down those boxes and dust them off. Then open each one of them and examine the contents. Understand what happened and do the work to deal with it like you need to.
I am not sure what it will take for me to deal with what hurts me most right now, I just know that I must deal with it if I want to be better and live better.
For more articles from the author:
Facebook: Tanaine Jenkins
YouTube: Everything Is Everything
About the Creator
Tanaine Jenkins
Life's experiences are the best lessons. What we chose to take from those experiences is the medicine that can either cure us or just mask the symptoms that will eventually surface later down the line. Be wise in your choice.
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.