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Clueless Scientists Conduct a Diet Study

Apparently, Diet Study scientists have never been on a diet.

By Joan GershmanPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Clueless Scientists Conduct a Diet Study
Photo by Jamie Matociños on Unsplash

If you have been reading My Weight Loss Journey Through Bariatric Surgery series, you know that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. Before my bariatric surgery finally helped me get a handle on my weight problem, there was not a weight loss program in existence that I had not tried. Weight Watchers, Diet Workshop, Atkins, 900 calorie a day restriction, Physician’s Weight Loss, Jenny Craig, Richard Simmon's Deal a Meal, Slimfast Shakes. The list is endless. I was unable to stick to any of them because I was always starving on them. Lunchtime seemed to be my breaking point. Depending upon which diet I was attempting at any given time, I ate all my Weight Watcher points, used up all of my Deal a Meal Cards, drank all of my allotted Slimfast Shakes, or ate all 900 calories, by lunchtime.

That left a lot of hungry eating time until I went to bed, which I managed to fill by “borrowing” points, cards, shakes, and calories from the next day. It apparently was not a wise move, as I never lost a pound on any of these programs. Truthfully, I actually gained weight on them. Satisfying my starving stomach always won out over points, calories, and cards. Always. Every single time.

Then there was the time that I woke from gum surgery with stitches in every section of my gums. Wow, thought this chronic dieter. This is GREAT. I won’t be able to eat. I may lose some weight out of this. After 2 days of living exclusively on Slimfast shakes, I was so hungry that I could not function. I was lightheaded, dizzy, and my stomach felt like holes were being drilled into it. Adding a quart of ice cream to every Slimfast "meal" and a triple serving of chocolate pudding for every snack solved that problem. No more hunger pangs for this girl.

So it was with interest that I turned up my radio on the way to work one morning when I heard the newscaster report about a scientific diet study that had just been completed.

Scientists, apparently skinny ones who had never had weight issues that required dieting, had studied two groups of dieters. They gave these dieters two different strict diets to follow. One was a high carbohydrate, low fat, Mediterranean type diet. The other was a Keto/Atkins high fat, low carbohydrate type diet. At the end of 6 months, each person’s weight was checked. The results were confusing to the scientists. In both groups, some dieters lost a reasonable amount of weight…….about 20-25 lbs. But in both groups, other dieters lost barely anything. How could this be, thought the scientists? The diets were sound. The scientists were stumped. Why did certain people from each group not lose weight? Obviously, these scientists had never had any weight issues, or they would have known immediately what the problem was. More on that in a minute.

The reporter went on to say that the scientists then gave their subjects a survey to fill out, pleading for honesty. The survey results surprised the scientists. Apparently, the dieters who did not lose weight, CHEATED ON THE DIET.

This revelation shocked the scientists. It never occurred to them that the dieters in their study would not strictly adhere to the prescribed diet.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent on this research study. They could have saved themselves a massive amount of money by simply asking me why dieters don’t lose weight. I would have given them their definitive answer - THEY CHEAT - because they are STARVING! And I would have done it for a fraction of what their study cost.

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About the Creator

Joan Gershman

Retired - Speech/language therapist, Special Education Asst, English teacher

Websites: www.thealzheimerspouse.com; talktimewithjoan.com

Whimsical essays, short stories -funny, serious, and thought-provoking

Weightloss Series

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