But you look okay

I don't know about anyone else but as a sufferer of a long-term condition I hate it when poeple say "but you look okay" where inside your head you feel like both hands and feet have been clamped in a vice and the pain is terrible. I remember going into the shop once and picked up a can of juice, I had to call out to my son to take the can from me as it was too heavy, I suffer from weakness in my muscles. My son looked at me and laughed "It's only a can mum" My main symptoms of Fibromyalgia are severe fatique and widespread pain. Both are invisible and both can be very dibilitating for the person that lives with it. When I first got Fibro it was 2013, it started in my back and left hand. Trying to explain to the doctor that I had severe pain but hadn't injured myself was confusing for me not just the doctor, I was sent for tests and an MRI after everything was ruled out I was diagnosed with Fibro. Fibro is very debilitating at times for me, I have no energy and am in constant pain all day and night. But to look at me I look like a healthy 39 year old. I see comments of other people and they too complain that people say they look fine to look at but inside they are crippled with pain. Fibro has over 250 symptoms including secondary conditions such as IBS and bladder weakness. I feel in my 80's when I really should still be full of life. I hate when we park in the disabled spot, we get judemental stares as if to say she doesn't look disabled. I am!! but that does not affect my quality of life I still try my best to live a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes within society people assume just by looking at a person, this attitude needs to stop as it just adds pressure on the people who suffer, we constantly feel we need to justify ourselves because we had a day in bed or why the housework hasn't been done, its like people assume us to be lying because "we look okay!" Some of us are not okay we just put up with it because we have no choice, its part of our life and we adjust and put up with it best we can. I am sure I am not alone when I say living with a long term condition is hard enough never mind having to battle with negative comments from people around you. People with Fibro also go through periods were their symptoms may get worse or they may improve, this fluctuation in health confuses people and is subject to comments like "but you were fine yesterday" it changes each day for me, I can't plan anything due to this as I just don't know how I will be feeling on that day so I live day to day. The main message I want to convery in this article is that some people have debilitating conditions that are invisible to others, we are not making it up this is real and more understanding of this condition is so needed as care from GP to GP can be different. For example I have been told Fibro is not progressive to be told it is and to be told it isn't again by 3 different health care professionals so why are GP's so underknowledged about this condition. It needs addressed in my opinion and researched more as I believe Fibro is more debilitating than some other serious conditions such as MS etc... I am a nurse have nursed many thousands of people and I kid you not most of my patients were healthier than me. The stigma attached to invisible conditions needs to stop, just because a person looks okay doesn't mean a thing because no one knows what is going on inside that person. The "you look fine" comment probably won't stop but its important that we all be the change we want to see in the world. I never look at a person and think "you look okay" as I know first hand what it looks like to appear normal but to be battling something inside that no one can see or feel. As a society we need to consider other people and never assume by looking at people they are okay. A little consideration for others goes a long way and makes the world we live in a better place for everyone. To my fellow warriors keep fighting and stay strong. Peace!