Being Good Enough

While growing up, I struggled with self-love. As a matter of fact, I knew nothing about self-love. Both of my self-esteem and confidence were incredibly low. They were so low, you would think that they were buried at least six feet under. I did not feel like a person who was worthy of anything. I did not feel like I was good enough. For a very long time, I felt like a submissive, peasant living in a world of dominant kings and queens. My experiences of being bullied in my childhood and toxic relationships drove me to searching for love elsewhere – when the real love starts from within all along.

In the beginning, I thought self-love was extremely repellent and an awful thing to practice. Based on my encounters and how I was brought up, my initial thought of self-love was loving yourself out of selfishness and believing you are better than others. I never wanted to be selfish. I was never the egotistical type of person, and I was not really into the fancy of being better than other people. Sure, I wanted to be like others or maybe better – like a straight A classmate, a talented artist, or a favorite celebrity. However, practicing self-love did not feel right to me when I was younger. Self-love actually felt like a sin to me.

Trauma, heartbreaks, losses, mistakes, illnesses, and other negative occurrences have triggered my mind into believing that I am not important. All of a sudden, I would get into this victim state of mind. Many questions would pop into my head – “Why me?” “These things happen to me?” “Why can’t I have a better life?” And even – “I wish I was dead!” You get the picture. Because of the bad events that have occurred, I would get negative thoughts. These negative thoughts made me feel unworthy. I did not know my worth at all. I never thought about taking good care of myself because I did not practice self-love. It was hard for me to set boundaries for myself. Because of these negative thoughts, I did not believe that I was good enough.

As time progressed, I slowly started to learn a little bit about self-love and self-worth here and there. It actually took me an awfully long time to have a better understanding of self-love and give it a new meaning. The more I learn about self-love, the more I see that it is a very positive thing and vital in a person’s life. What I picked up is self-love has nothing to do with conceit. You can love yourself without being narcissistic about it and without thinking you are better than anyone. Self-love has a lot to do with knowing your worth, practicing self-care and building yourself up. “Building yourself up” has nothing to do with being better than others. It has a lot to do with being a better version of yourself. We try to get better every day. I believe that self-love and knowing your worth tell the world that you are good enough.

My Goal In 2021

At times, I do struggle with feeling good enough. As a result, I will focus on myself and work on believing that I am good enough this year. I am good enough to take care of my children. I am good enough to be a successful writer. I am good enough to have a loving relationship. I am good enough to take control of my life. The affirmations are endless. When I believe that I am good enough, that makes me feel invincible. Heck, that makes me feel limitless. It shows how much I love myself and that I am worthy. In order for me to believe that I am good enough, I have to control my thoughts and not let negative thoughts bring me down. I have to exclude limited beliefs that prohibit me from reaching my goals. I have to not let setbacks and mistakes cause me to beat myself up. I have to always be kind to myself even when others feel I do not deserve kindness.

I came to the conclusion that there are three keys for me to work on this goal – confidence, focus and persistence. With confidence, I will have to believe in myself. If I see an opportunity, go for it. The more I do this, the more my confidence is being built. With focus, I will have to keep my eyes on the prize -which is me. Stay away from things that do not serve me - and that includes people. With persistence, it is plain and simple. Do not stop. Continue to do self-care, know my worth, value myself, set healthy boundaries, and work on things that empower me. If I be mindful of these three keys, I believe they will help me with this particular personal development. In addition to that, I have been working on a tool that will assist me on my journey. There is an app on my phone that I started using very recently. This app is called Sanity and Self. This is a very useful app for self-care and personal development. Even though this app is designed for women, I feel that men can benefit from this app as well. This app covers topics like self-love, stress, anxiety, work, relationships and more. I enjoy the audios in this app. My favorite ones are the meditations. Also, there is a host of therapists, life coaches and specialists who can assist you on your journey. I feel that this app will help me with my personal growth and self-empowerment.

I am sure that without the app there are other ways to help me on my journey. Having confidence in yourself alone can make you feel that you are good enough for anything in life. However, there are people who struggle with that. We are all different. What works for one person may not work for others – which is perfectly fine. It does not matter how you get to the point in your life believing that you are good enough. All it matters that you get there. I am choosing to utilize an app (or maybe another app) because I could use all the help I can get for my personal development this year. I believe that self-love opens many doors in different areas of a person’s life. Believing that you are good enough give you the courage and the confidence to walk through them.