Autism

Like most people, my knowledge of autism was almost non-existent. I had even fallen into the category of people who thought autism was caused (if nothing else, than in part) by vaccines.

Spoiler: They really aren’t.

I had worked in care for a while, mostly caring for the elderly and those with physical disabilities. In fact, the only reason I started work in a learning disabled care home is because I needed work, and that was the only type of care work that was available in my area.

There has been so much that I have had to learn to do my job. In turn, there has been so much that I’ve learned about people with autism and how to care for them, understanding what autism is.

Rather than seeing it as a condition some people have to live with, try to see it as a bell curve of personality traits and social habits that effect how people with autism see the world. As no two people are the same, it’s important to remember that no two people with autism are the same either.

Tom, Dick, and Harry all have autism, and all three are completely different. This also means how we care for them and support them has to be different as well.

Even the language that we use has to be altered depending on the person. I used to care for a man who could become violent and very hostel for reasons that were very rarely clear. However, calling him an insult name in a friendly tone would help to keep him in a calm or happier mood. He took it as a mark of friendship—while I’m sure it didn’t look or sound very professional, the fact that we spoke to him the way that guys typically talk to their friends made him feel valued. It gave him the sense that he wasn’t living away from his family and that he was with people he could trust.

Again, while this trick is not something that is viewed highly of—the fact that it worked doesn’t carry much wait with authorities that look over our shoulders—it was one of the reasons we lowered his violent outbursts and were able to give him a better life.

By contrast, in the same home, there was a man who would react very negatively to being called anything other than his name—or when he was in a good mood, occasionally calling him “mate.”

The crucial part to this is understanding the individual you are caring for.

With more severer forms of autism you can see people hurting themselves as well as lashing out. It doesn’t matter if they are loved ones or complete strangers. Even when you know the person well, anything can trigger this, and it can seem so silly to you or me, but to them it’s important and that is what we have to work from.

Maybe they didn’t have medication and breakfast in the right order. Maybe there is something on TV that they usually watch, but for whatever reason, that day it isn’t on. Maybe they were doing some form or art work and it didn’t go the way they wanted.

In the end, our relationship with them won’t stop the outburst, but the relationship we build on with them can help future events and how we all cope in the aftermath.

Routine has been the biggest learning curve for me. Learning the routine can be fairly simple; building the routine can be a lot harder. Especially when you are taking a person in their late teens or early 20s and trying to build the routine that they have never had before.

For us, a routine gives us something to work by. It’s a way to lower the chances of them having a violent outburst. With less outburst it can allow us to do so much more with the people we care for. If you think that someone you care for is likely to react badly to a day out, the chances are you just aren’t going to do that. But by building on the routine, by giving them the security of knowing what the average day is going to entail and surrounded by people that they can trust, we can give people with autism a great life.

A routine doesn’t have to be regimental—and it shouldn’t be. It’s there so that the people we care for know have something they can hold on to. The world is huge. It’s full of things that simply don’t make sense. Routines are a way to give the people we are for something they can hold on to. Something they can understand and a way to make the world smaller and easier to understand.

Autism is not something that can be cured, it’s not something that comes as a result from vaccines, and it’s not the defining trait. It is something that we should understand by learning about the person. Progress doesn’t happen over night, like everything else it takes time and effort. Learn about the person and take the time to build the routine. Give choices that give them options in their lives without being overwhelming. But as I said before, the most important thing to do is to learn about the person. If it’s your child or someone in your family, take the time to watch them and learn about them. Don’t be afraid to be strict. A large part of what has made my job difficult is parents who were too afraid to be strict with their autistic children. A learning disability doesn’t mean that they can’t learn, but remember that it will take time to do so. It may takes years, but it will lead to them having a much better life.