Accompanied By My Small Documentary Crew

I'm not sure what all of those positivity quotes on social media actually do.

Trust me, I've passed around a few myself.

I don't think the job I get paid to do matters one damn bit in the world. There's nothing I do on a daily basis, for which I get paid, that matters, nor makes a damn difference.

But then again, I was a temp at my previous gig for nearly 20 years. And I did very little. I sat on a bench. And I swung a gate, but I was really good at both.

Currently, my job is not my vocation. My job is not what I do. I do lots of things. I would love to do some of the things I love, and get paid for them. I run, write, create, and ride a vegan wave.

I am a regular blood donor, since I have more of it to give than money. I have contributed to a number of political campaigns, most recently to the reelection of my Public Advocate. I have supported a number of artistic projects, the latest being a film called "Run Crew." I have donated money to various spiritual institutions, in blessed memory of lost family members. Many of the race companies I run 5Ks with, partner with charities. I have also sent tip money to animal sanctuaries in the north east.

I would like to perform more random acts of kindness, but I'm not sure that the world remains open to that sort of thing. I think that my bubbles are kind and random.

There are three main social circles, which I regularly participate in: my family circle, my widow(er)s, and a handful of fellas from film school, with whom I am happy to still be in contact with. I find this especially awesome since we shared a ridiculously twisted educational experience, administered by an especially twisted educator. I do believe that we shall all meet again, in a significantly more vibrant setting, to produce an exceptional work of art.

I am not certain that I am setting an example for others as I live my life. I have had a number of co-workers in recent years say that they'd like to be more like me. I find this shocking, since I have much higher hopes for them, while my career is in the toilet.

I lead an honest and authentic life, as I am usually the real me. At the same time, I think that the authentically real me has been pecking at the same wall my entire life, but I haven't knocked it down...yet. I'll know when it's time. I'll have a ticket in my hand at JFK, accompanied by my small documentary crew. Our flight to Prague will take nine hours, with a short layover in Amsterdam. We will have just wrapped on the "P" project, which I will confidently leave in the hands of my ahem...ahem director and editor (no fighting fellas).

And in the process, the lives of hundreds of thousands of turtles will be saved.

Well kids, I got the old jab in the arm and I am relieved.

I feel that flicker inside of me, a pilot light of hope.

After feeling as if I wouldn't see my vaccination for months, I just happened to be on the right web site at the right time, and BINGO! I was 48 hours away from traveling from my Saturday Night Fever neighborhood, to the South Bronx. Lincoln Medical Center was the closest site which would have me, for which I am truly thankful.

I want to go outside, run, be free.

And find my damn running shoes, oh hell, I know where they are.

The River wondered why we hadn't spoken in a while. It's tricky because I believe in Mother Nature so much, that I'm thinking about ordering a T-shirt.

I want the River to assure me that her lesson is somewhere beyond all of this.