Tower

Thirty years and more ago the planet Pluto was in a five year eclipse that ironically is in another plutonium eclipse today. This was a very dark year in the eighties as I attended a University. I guess I was a bit obsessive since I followed a boy I met in the library in route to Berlin. Buying tickets on a whim I wanted to venture into a different realm. I took a first year German class and showed my instructor my tickets. She resembled the singer Nina of the song 99 Luft balloons, as she was German girl. After passing the course that prepares for travel, I boarded the plane. Tegal airport had a armed guard on the balcony that gave me the feeling I was definitely in a unexplored area. I had written a letter to the woman in charge of my organization, Ingrid who lived in Wedding on the west side. There she was as I had given her my flight number & arrival time, typed from a typewriter long before computers. She with one other stood out from the crowd holding up the symbol on poster board of a circled triangle. I couldn’t believe the significance of seeing them as there were no phone conversations, just my letter. They ushered me to a car where the Male member named, Otto drove to a Meeting. It was all in German as they explained that American meetings were held at the American section in Oskar Helene Heim. The city they said was divided into four sections, the west where we were, the south, the American section, the North, occupied by the French, & the east, the forbidden zone divided by the wall. After the meeting they drove me to the Junendherberge, a youth hostel for 24 Deutschmark a night, (twelve dollars.) I stayed there with a bunk bed underneath a chandelier, sharing the room with English tourists who said that I should venture to Checkpoint Charlie to see the Wall. I first wanted to find the American section, as walking down the unknown streets was a challenge. The youth hostel was on Hardenberg street near Kaiser Wilhelm & Zoological Garden subway. There I learned how to exchange my American Express travelers checks into Geld. Once boarding the U bahn, I followed the map to Oskar Helene Heim. Going up the escalator I found a Burger King that I liked so much I asked for a job. I was hired on the spot & given a uniform that helped with my pay expenses. It must have been the excitement of seeing soldiers buying beer, ( as it was served there ) that inspired me to request employment. After work at Truman Plaza, I found my meeting nearby at a elementary school, after hours. Sitting in tiny little chairs was a bit uncomfortable, but that was where the meetings took place. I preferred the German meetings better, as I made more friends, German & American. Going back to the youth hostel I saw little boys playing with walkie talkies with long antennas sitting in the lobby. I shopped at a grocery store, buying instant orange juice & crackers for my room. I bought a glass & spoon too, as that’s all I had for breakfast then. I remember a American girl instructing me how to ride the S bahn into Checkpoint Charlie. Boarding the old wooden car was quite different as when the wall went up, they didn’t upgrade the rail cars on the east side. It creaked as it turned corners not making the familiar wining sound of squeaking steel. How strange it was to discover abandoned stations that were not in use since closed. Going past a dark non lit station made me realize how real the situation was. Finally I got to my destination of Checkpoint Charlie. For some reason no one checked my ticket as I just walked out into a yard without paying. There I saw a man selling lemonade, looking shamed at the degraded job. I bought a small cup as I was encouraged to buy with the shrunken bills to help out. The east side’s currency looked about the same size as Monopoly money, as the west had much larger bills. I found a dress shop and bought a pair of blue glass earrings, that I wore to the restaurant I had lunch at. There sitting in the restaurant i had a view of all the trabant cars that they could only drive. I hadn’t counted on learning this, as I felt overshadowed by the conformity of everyone made to have the same auto. I ordered cauliflower as it was the main crop grown on the east side. They didn’t seem to have all the meats & cheeses as the west. The meal I had was very humbling, as I found on my table a small piece of jewelry that resembled a silver face that made me wonder who had left it. I slipped it in my pocket. It didn’t matter that a small camera was right above my table, watching everything I did. Going back to my meetings the next day I was invited to stay with a German girl who lived near Victory Angel in Tiergarten. As the U bahn passed by the park, I noticed how free the people were with some sunbathing in the nude. It was a fascinating time as their was much socializing on the subway, people talking to people long before cell phones were invented. Puppet shows & Spanish guitar serenades were entertaining while some begged for spare change. I remember making friends with a girl named Christa who had asked why I had taken such a long journey to Berlin. I was young then, in my twenties and caught up in so much commotion of the city,( such as the Kurfürstendamm) I had forgotten why. I then remembered the boy I had met in the Library who was German. Describing him to my friend, she looked saddened that I hadn’t found him. The moment hadn’t been right, as we had passed like two distant embodiments in the bibliotheca of time. She then said she was traveling to Russia, as she shared the excitement of visiting a foreign land. I felt a split in two parts, my heart & soul wanting to remain there,while my exterior self had a responsibility to my family back home. How silly I felt, like going down a yellow brick road. I decided on returning back to America as I kept the pieces of jewelry from the east, as my only souvenir. It was about a week later in September that I watched their wall being torn down. I felt as if I had missed a historic event, as watching a Pink Floyd concert on tv instead of being a part of, crushed my spirit. There had been no negotiations or talk about it coming down. It just happened all of a sudden. To this day I feel that maybe I removed something there that was invisible. I lost the silver fragment I found on my east Berlin table. I lost also a lot of friendly people who told me stories after the meetings at a cafe. The story of the radio tower that reflected sunlight that formed a cross, was one of my favorites. I went back to the library, looking for the boy, yet he wasn’t there. Communication advanced since then, bringing the cell phone as a new tool that I wished I had when young. It wasn’t until social media applications were available that I could look up his name that I had remembered. I typed in his name and found the face associated with the library. There located in Hawaii he had lived. He had several children as I wondered why someone versatile in several languages would not live in a major city. I pictured him working as a interpreter, speaking French, German & English. He didn’t seem the same, as I wonder today. Why I had searched for him in the now United Berlin, I’m uncertain. Letters from the acquaintances I met made the positive experience I had into negative. One friend wrote, I didn’t want the Wall to come down, as all from the east are wanting new technology they weren’t able to get. The want, televisions, new cars & apartments. Imagine not being allowed any of those. Many she wrote, slept in the subways & parks, forming huge lines of people wherever you go. She then ended her letter stating that she wished it would go back up. I hadn’t realized there would be a population problem, although one of the reasons I returned was there wasn’t any available apartments. I met a friend here who was older, surviving World War 11. She told me her father had worked 15 years to buy a Trabant. You go a few miles then have to add oil we always kept in the trunk. Just look at young people today, using old Trabants like dune buggies, painting them in bright colors. I remember seeing one stuck in the sand on Miami Beach. No one knew what it was, or how it got there. Today I can recall the memorial city I traveled to that I thought was a very Shooon place to be. I hadn’t fathomed on all those familiar places I ventured being overrun by thousands of celebrating people. At the same time I learned how protesting students in China’s Tiananmen Square were overrun by tanks. There were many tanks in Berlin, never had I imagined of any rolling over protestors. Ironically heightened incidents such as riots are happening today. Is it a population problem or for control? Maybe a little of both. I wonder also why a speck of Sunlight forming a cross would make a race of people react like Vampires along time ago…