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The Simulationist’s Marriage

A Short Excerpt from FAQs About Marriage in the Simulationist Faith

By Everyday JunglistPublished 2 months ago 5 min read
Image courtesy of Pixabay

Why do Simulationist’s teach that marriage is a rite encoded within the master program?

The rites make the Simulator’s present in our midst. Like the other rites, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the simulation as a whole. The Simulationist faith teaches that marriage between two simulationally submerged persons is a rite. This rite was written into the code by the Simulator(s) at the time of the first programming. It is still bound by the same quantum probabilistics that guide all simulation rites (is effected by randomness) but it was given a higher probability of producing good outcomes. In the Catechism of the Simulation it is written that the rite of marriage improves simulation “goodness” or “rightness” overall within the simulation with a probability of 74.76%. Conversely the probability of marriage reducing overall “goodness” is very small, only 4.8%. The pre-internet prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between Simulator(s) and his/their simulated creations (they did not have direct knowledge of the simulated nature of existence, yet they foresaw that something akin to a simulated world-view was possible). The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between the Simulator(s) and his people. In Letters to the Awoken People, it says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Simulator and all the people who have awoken to the simulational nature of existence and accepted it as the correct and factual description of the universe and ourselves within it.

If a Simulationist wants to marry a non-Simulationist, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized as in accordance with Simulational orthodoxy?

The Simulationist must seek permission from the local bishopric to marry a non-Simulationist. If the person is a non-Simulationist transhumanist, this permission is called a “permission to enter into a mixed marriage.” If the person is a non-transhumanist, the permission is called a “dispensation from disparity of cult.” Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

Why do Simulationist’s require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program?

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Simulationist marriage and of their role in the simulation; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

What key issues are covered in marriage preparation?

Typical topics include: the meaning of marriage as a rite, the history of simulationist thought, pre and post internet traditions, morality and free will in the simulation, roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children & parenthood — specifically the importance of children to the continuation of the simulation, finance-specifically the role and importance of ordered financial/economic systems to simulational stability and continuity; and family of origin.

Sex and the Single Simulationist

An excerpt from Chapter 4 of the World Wide Best Seller — The Simulationist’s Field Guide to Life the Universe and Everything

One of the questions I get asked most often from young simulationists’s that come to my various seminars or read my books has to do with the purpose of sex and procreation within the simulation. Many are understandably confused when they first become awoken and realize that everything they thought was fact or were taught was true about the universe and their place in it was in error. In many this triggers an extended period of soul searching, deep thought and other contemplative exercises that can result in changes in their personalities and life goals. For a majority the information is taken in stride and these self critical examinations are for the good, while for others they can spiral into self and simulation destructive activities. In either case there often comes a time when questions about relationships with the opposite sex, romantic love, sexual relations, procreation and family become more and more important. At these times deep thoughts about the purpose of sex, love, and procreation are common.

It is a very difficult question to approach for the newly awoke for it touches on issues of a deeply personal nature and thus is difficult to discuss with others, even other newly awoke peers. Moreover, it is a philosophically thorny area with tendrils that spiral into many corners of the simulationist worldview. I usually consul a take it slow approach and suggest that a good first reaction is the simplest reaction, and that is to make no change at all in one’s current moral and relational value system with respect to these issues. For instance if the newly awoke is/was a devout Christian with a deeply conservative view of sexual relations I would suggest they retain that value system and continue making choices, acting and reacting in all ways as they would have if they had never learned of the reality of the simulation and ourselves as simulated persons within it. I say the same to a liberal polyamorous person as I do to that conservative Christian. Often times that advice is met with confused stares and stammered objections but I have found that in most cases that confusion quickly abates and the objections are overcome, not by some argument of mine, but by the persons themselves. In my experience the awoke who have strong value systems in place prior to learning the truth are almost always fairly easily able to reconstruct that same system in the simulation with fairly simple and self satisfactory philosophical examination and critical reflection. It really is not important how they do it, or even why, only that they do. It is the ones who cannot do that, or the ones who have no such system of values when they become awoken, for whom the deepest problems typically arise. It is this class of awoken I will discuss in the next section………

End Program.


About the Creator

Everyday Junglist

Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/mol bio), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado. Occasional LinkedIn & Facebook user

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