Success...

This last year was a year of upheaval, changes, growth, and compromise... and I was not sorry to see it end last night!

I made plenty of mistakes last year that I am trying to move forward from, but I still am mad at myself for making:

• I still struggle with following through with making official reports of inappropriate behaviors.
• I still struggle when talking to people in authority.
• I still struggle with taking Aurora out on walks... partly because of what has happened to us... and partly because I don't like getting yelled at "to go back where I came from"
• I still struggle with balance.



This all said, I am proud of myself as this year I have:

• Chosen some lasting, impactful changes to my son and I's medical coverage which unfortunately leads to more paperwork, however it allows for flexibility and opens up choices for our medical care/experiences.
• Published my first 2 books based off of my journal! :-)
• I have upheld my boundaries regarding medication successfully, even at a loss of a church family and a loss of friends.
• I have done a pretty good job at maintaining boundaries with how I have been treated - and accepting that when people "don't care to speak with me" that it is perfectly alright
• This year I have (mostly) not lived in fear. Although, right now I am stressed out enough that I would prefer to run screaming for the hills than be brave! lol

This year I want to push myself to not be terrified of success. I might be working on cutting down my mental health appointments and the worker wanted me to make a list of the things that I want to be sure that I am doing mostly independently within the next six months (before we talk about decreasing our meeting times). I have learned a lot about making goals, but for those of you who may not know what SMART goals are... they are specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.

So, I gave it a lot of thought and then added to it for my New Year's resolutions to share here in the hopes that I can inspire you all to make your resolution into SMART goals to help you achieve your dreams. In this case, these are all geared at my hope to be successful:

1. In the next 3 months, I want to write and publish an article on Vocal at least 2 times per month in order to increase my visibility, to practice consistency, and to work towards feeling successful. Baseline is: last article was 6 months ago.
2. In the next 3 months, I want to reorganize my filing system with a box for each of my kid's memories as well as a box for important papers to make it easier to put papers away immediately in order to save time, to make it less likely that I will have missing important paperwork, to make sure that I am saving treasures for my children, and to work towards "adulting" more independently. Baseline is: 5 mismatched and full of who knows what cardboard boxes, 4 piles that aren't even IN boxes, 3 mostly organized (hahahaha, might be kidding) boxes bursting at the seams, 2 drawers full, and OOONNNNEEE roll top desk stuffed! (ok, so maybe I am still in Christmas song mode... but this time I did order the correct supplies to accomplish this goal instead of marking a cardboard box as my binder holder)
3. In the next 3 months, have a schedule in my planner that has ZERO double-booking spots per month, has time blocked off more consistently for an hour of writing and 3 hours for homeschooling (both of my kids are still in preschool), and has at least 10 minutes between each thing that I have to plan for - whether for myself or for my children - to help ensure that I am utilizing proper coping skills that don't involve thoughts of fleeing the country... (yes, my children get their dramatic flare from somewhere - and no, it couldn't POSSIBLY be ME!!! lol I am being sarcastic.) Baseline is: 3 double-booking spots last month and 0% consistency for writing, as well as taking a slightly extended vacation from homeschooling (book release, sicknesses, etc.)
4. On 4 out of 7 days, in the next 3 months, I will do at least 1 of each of the following tasks: share someone else's content, follow another account of which I like the content, comment on someone else's post, like a post, and post something original on each of my social media accounts to improve my consistency and follow-through, to increase my visibility, and to work towards feeling successful. My social media's are: Pinterest, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.
5. In the next 3 months, I will write in my journal 4 out of 7 days to attempt to stay (mostly) caught up to help with my consistency, to help my memories get onto paper so they are swirling into a vortex in my mind, and to help with my stress level. Baseline: 60 days of simple notes.
6. In the next 3 months, I will complete the final edits of a long awaited sequel to the first book I ever published: Time In Space. This goal is meant to drive me forward towards continuing to schedule editing time without another major goal. In other words, this is my easy goal. To accomplish this goal, I will edit one chapter per week. Baseline: haven't touched it in years.

I have 6 goals to help me with my successfulness and a counselor who is (hopefully) going to help me not be quite as terrified of achieving success... so, follow alone and see if I can make it. In the meantime, please share a SMART goal of your own with me! :-)