school of life rules

My 2 brothers and sister went to college/university and got their degrees and earn loads more than me. I didn't do sixth form and although had reasonable grades I was happy to exit stage left from school just short of turning 16. I did a 2 year YTS scheme, which for the under 40s is on the job training with a day or 2 a week in college. I fixed phones and went to college to study electronic servicing. So I did the job and learnt the practical at the same time.

What I also did for good or bad was learn about the reality of life. Had kids young, learned debt young and got married young. The kids were a high point, although very difficult as both are disabled and needed lots of care. The debt haunts me many years later and the marriage scarred me in many ways. At least I learnt and I think I benefitted. While in the marriage i had a job that paid quite well without need for many qualifications, though my ex made sure the debt matched whatever I earned.

It meant I needed to be practical as we couldn't afford to get people in to do jobs. I could hang shelves, paint, hang wallpaper, do electrics and lay carpet. My siblings could afford to get someone in but who wins. I could do it so perhaps I win as could do things in emergency or quicker than waiting for someone. If I had had the inclination or patience for college I might have been able to pay someone but would have missed out the achievement of doing it.

Perhaps I appreciate some things more as well. I know my work and skill are the reason the tv has power in that place, on the carpet I laid and against the wall I painted. It also means I worked out how to run a power cable to the garden to power security lights. It also meant I could build flat packs, including a metal shed with about a squillion pieces. I must have done it right as there were a few hundred bits left after.

I can do basic repairs and general maintenance to my car, I can do diagnostic repairs on a computer and think I am generally quite practical. Skills I may have learned along the way but, for example, as I didn't earn much I have never had a new car or company car. Therefore I had to learn to keep an old one going.

This leads me to my job, as a support worker for a number of adults with learning difficulties and a number of other conditions such as autism. For years with my ex I did a job I didn't like because I couldn't afford to stop. I was a governor at my sons special school; as well as an occasional classroom helper. This was and still is something I loved doing, I know work with an an age range of 20 to 50 but the principles are the same.

Wages are lousy, I live with my fiancé in a rented flat as a mortgage is impossible and we holiday in my dads caravan. Though I work less hard and less hours than brothers and sis. Brothers are working harder than me and both have 2 pairs of under tens each as well. Again with an education I might have led a different life, college would have meant I wouldn't met my ex. Though I could have found someone else just as dodgy and still had disabled kids so I don't know.

The only definite thing I know is that things are going well with my fiancé and I cant wait to get married in a few months. Over a number of years I have done NVQ training through a number of jobs. When I have finished the one I am on now I will have earned the equivalent of a first year stage of a degree course. It means I can manage a group or a home myself. The only problem is I cant do the next stage of training until I get a managerial job but that's the next plan. So maybe I have done like the other three but in a more roundabout way.