Memories: 28 November 2023

28 November 2023

28 November 2022

A storm blew through and I was gifted with this gorgeous rainbow.

This morning the beautiful king parrot visited me, then this evening this beautiful rainbow!

Blessèd Mama T here!

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OH MY GODDESS! The King and Queen are here!!!

Not only that, but the King Parrot sang to me and landed right in front of me on my back steps where I am Sitting. I asked his permission for a photo! He stayed just long enough for the picture then he and his mate flew into the umbrella tree where they are both watching me with interest.

How magical that he came so close to me! Like a pet. Almost! He fluttered down to me from the edge of my roof. Then landed and I swear to all the gods he looked into my face and smiled!

Today is going to be a magical wondrous day as I thought he was going to come to me last week (he fluttered right above my head!) but this time he interfaced with me Mano au Mano! Well man bird to woman! How gracious and delightful! I am Loved!

It’s a pity the sun was not on his feathers. He is scarlet and so very beautiful. Of course I told him so! He just smiled back at me. He loves me too. We didn’t have to do a thing…just exist for each other.

His mate almost flew down beside him but she was more nervous of me. Omg…I feel so blessed to have had this interaction with the wild ones!

28 November 2021

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I had a lovely afternoon and evening with Jarrod and Crystal yesterday.

We drove to Hope Island and stopped at a Vegan bakery. I bought a delicious vegan chicken pie. We bought some cake slices then stopped at a dog park to eat at the picnic tables.

We got bombarded by butcher birds who snatched the bits of cake right out of our hands. Cheeky!

There was a very large, very old and scrawny kangaroo that I became somewhat fascinated with. I went to get as close as I could but was a tad nervous about his very long claws. He sat and munched grass and watched me balefully. Beautiful creature!

Then we went to Harbourtown and wandered around the shops. We were regaled with the high summer stench of other unlovely creatures who had not bathed or put on deodorant. An entire family of them. Yuck.

Jarrod had to leave the store as the smelly family kept following him around and he became sickened by the stench.

There was a doorman at the Armani store who stared condescendingly at us when we walked past so Crystal went by the shop again and returned his snobbish disdain masterfully. It was hilarious.

These peasants don’t know that we were raised by much higher calibre snobs and psychopaths so we can out-snob Anyone.

Then we made our way to the Helensvale markets which were wonderful. Live music and a fire twirler and the most amazing food stalls. We had a yummy dinner together then headed home as after 5-6 hours I worry about Bobo needing to poop!

But we had fun and it was good to spend time with my daughter and Jarrod!

Jarrod had a gorgeous shirt on with matching cargo pants and received three compliments from men who all asked him where he bought the shirt. I was seriously impressed as men rarely compliment other men for looking good or having style so that was truly lovely. I even thanked the last man that complimented my friend. He literally wanted to buy the shirt off Jarrod’s back!

The people at Helensvale markets were really friendly, welcoming and encouraging. Some of the stall holders I spoke to suggested I set up a stall to sell my silver flatware jewellery. I felt very inspired and tempted.

The little wooden sheds they call “Chalets” cost $3000 to purchase upfront. I loved that idea as it would give shelter from extreme heat, rain and wind.

Something to think about, I guess!

28 November 2019

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Biggest achievement today: I trimmed Beauregard’s fringe and jowls and eye sockets and took him for a walk. Second biggest achievement: didn’t die or run away in my car to wherever the fuck my half petrol tank could take me.

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When I wallow in despair over lost loves that still come to keep some kind of eye on me, even with their partners in tow (WTAF?!) , seething in the casual cruelty that is humans. When my lungs are squeezing but my fever has broken so I know I will get better after that awful greasy (but delicious!) spike.

When I think no one will ever love me and if they do, I may not live long enough enjoy it...I look at Beauregard, he of the beautiful gaze and I remember...everything is gonna be okay.

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So I survived another day (another fight with my kid!) but carried on with my afternoon, and rather intrepidly managed a walk with Bobo and Charlie.

Even though I felt weak so it was a very slow amble. At least the fever has gone although it came back briefly.

Fuck! What a life! Jesus!!! I wish I could win lotto so I could leave this hellhole and never look back. Too much horror and cruelty and debasement. If not for my few friends I would have quit permanently this time.

But fuck it. I have to live in a hell of my own making. I chose this life and all the epic ghouls in it. I even chose to live by my motto “never let the bastards grind you down” which makes it hard to quit as they must never ever win no matter how much they have hurt me. I must continue to rise and shine and evolve the newest version of The Tanya.

But it gets harder every day. The only way out is through. The only love worth having is True. I hold on to my inner Truth and Joy and Light like Glue. Even amidst the unravelling....(insert primal scream here!)

28 November 2018

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Wild weather. No rain. It went dark, slopped 3 heavy drops. I panicked. Raced Charlie safely inside. Then nothing! Sun came out. I filled front pond. Blustery wind. Bright hot sunshine. Weirdest storm ever!

I hope someone got the rain.

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28 November 2017

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Watching Struggle Street. Will be watching Gypsy kids at 9.30pm also.

Bit triggered by the guy on Struggle Street trying to go to his mother’s funeral without shoes.

Um. Yeah. Reminds me of my cunt father expecting me to take his ashes after being estranged for 17 years.

Not to mention me stepping up to the mark for my evil bastard mother’s funeral. I gave her the best funeral too. Oh well she paid for hers and my father paid for his. That was their final Gift to me.

Almost 8 months since David Phillips died. Lots of emotional Changes.

I am free of them all now.

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My collection of Knick knacks: perfume bottles, German Harz mountain figurines. Old brooches etc.

I decorated the back of each printing block with cool paper I bought at Reverse Garbage. Just to give it a bit more Vavavavoom

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11.55 am. Oh my. Third night of buggar all sleep, interrupted by constant need to pee and insane wakefulness. I went to bed at 2 am but was up every hour until I finally succumbed to exhaustion around 7 am.

Oh well. Menopause is an epic cuntish thing.

I had a lovely afternoon/ evening with Jarrod and little Harvey. We drank wine out in the garden in the arvo and admired all my blooming plants. Then we watched tv at night. We cooked dinner together late in the evening. Chicken breasts in a peanut sauce with broccolini and Brussels sprouts.

I attempted to make a cheese sauce with gluten free flour to hide the flavour of Brussels sprouts, which was hilarious as I haven’t made a white sauce in many years and that was the only thing my mother ever taught me how to cook.

So I was a bit triggered as cooking was not something my mother did pleasurably or with ease, and it brought back odd memories and the white sauce roux didn’t roux too well and it was lumpy and weird so I’m standing there whisking like a daemon, having a weird sort of breakdown and yelling at my Jarrod to chuck the cheese in even though the roux was already an abortion and somehow it sorta turned out vaguely edible. (Except gluten free flour and the Brussel sprouts water I cooked it with gave it an odd taste) lmao!

Jarrod made turmeric rice and I made the chicken with peanut sauce and although I freaked that the meal was gonna be a disaster it came together and I thought wow, I love cooking with Jarrod as we make dinner so eventful and it just seems so much better.

We sat and noshed on our lovely meal and Beauregard sat at my feet, soulsucking me beatifically until I gave him my last piece of chicken and he was so happy. We were all very well fed and content.

Later we had some Whittaker’s chocolate. We also had jelly in the afternoon as my gut was playing up and I read jelly is good for the stomach and digestion. So we were like five year olds, which is our favourite state of being.

During my long interrupted night of pishing and insomnia, my back tooth decided to hurt as well and I was like “fuck you tooth, fuck You brain, this is all just bloody epic acting out. There is nothing wrong with you. Stop referring pain in the back jaw!” So it griped and pinched for a long while in protest, then I fell asleep for a while.

My meat carcass is not behaving like it should but then when did it ever?

One more month until Crystal comes home. She is dealing with her own breakdown over there and there is nothing I can do.

Soon she will be back in BrisPain and I can give her all her stuff and clear out my house and focus on what I really am and where I am going in life. Ultimately going nowhere on my giant hamster wheel “ohh look a kitten” but running as fast as I can as that is a distraction from the inevitable conclusion.

But I can dream the psychedelic dream of Byron Bay and peace and true love and being surrounded by good kind life-enhancing people who genuinely love and care about me as my heart keeps beating to its own delusions and in the meantime there is Chocolate and happiness and five year old parties and sleep is a thing I used to do all day and now. And now. I write crazy sad mad shit on Facebook. It’s a hobby.

Update 2018: One year ago today. Insomnia in late spring seems to be my new default mode.

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Feeling happy and excited today. Not sure why! Probably lack of sleep!

28 November 2016

The workmen at the house that has been raised arrived at 5 am to lay the slab. Calling out loudly. Grrrr.

Then at 8 am my workmen arrived to lay down dirt and turf for the erosion in left side of my house. So annoying as they woke me up to move my car. So I am up early and all fuzzy in the head from the noisy workers.

In a positive the garden will look nice again and across the road they will start building the house underneath so I guess in a few weeks that annoyance will be over!

28 November 2015

4.09 am. Sore feet but I had fun dancing with Jo, Moana and Catherine and Sally. Tomorrow night is Mission X. Woot!

28 November 2014

So many beautiful experiences for me in Byron. If I had money I would buy a house there! It really is my spiritual home. Even the little frog swimming over to me and climbing up and sitting on my foot was a sign, in answer to my prayers.

Still not sure what is about to happen, but still seeing 11:11 and 1:11. So it is going to be amazing.

I have decided to go there more often. To try to make connections with people that might help me find new opportunities.

Brisbane CBD has basically abused me one too many times, so it's time to find a place where I am welcome and valued! :-)

So exciting!

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We have had a lovely day, except we got wet in the rain on the beach and my heel and knees hurt now, from all the walking!

I said a little prayer at the ocean, and asked for a sign. Then not long later, the little frog climbed up on my foot! So cute!

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I went out to hang out more washing to discover Socks chewing up another dead rat.

I think they must be coming for the chook food in the Silky cage. I will have to nail metal mesh to the sides to stop the little buggars coming in. Or they are coming for the compost maybe.

To top off this horrid experience I just caught him with his face in my cheesecake! Fresh from gnawing on a rat. Mind Officially Blown!

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Woot! I found my togs. Now I can go swimming at Byron Bay. Bliss out!

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3 am. Need to sleep but too excited about Byron. Getting up at 7! Dang Blam it! I need knocking out!

28 November 2013

HAPPY CHANUKAH TO MY JEW CREW! Love and many bright Blessings to you all!

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I am really sick and weak today. In spite of feeling weak I went to Bunnings when I got up at midday, bought fly screens for the front and back door. It cost me $51 ‘cos I bought a stronger pet resistant one for the front door.

I had trouble fitting the heavier gauge pet one. I fainted twice from lack of oxygen, well, quickly lay on the floor as I felt myself start to fit and didn't want to black out on the front stairs.

Just after completing the task, Gail and Tayhlia arrived so I made pancakes then we went to Maccas.

Now I feel really nauseous. I blame the heavy duty antibiotics the hospital doctor gave me for my foot.

Oh well that'll teach me, for walking barefoot and almost killing myself.

I hope I feel better by next week, as this terrible sense of malaise and weakness is scary.

28 November 2012

Tonight I padlocked both gates and nesting box doors on the remaining 3 hen's chicken tractor. This way if that bastard comes again tonight he won’t be able to open the gates to let the dog in, but alas, he can still turn the coop on it's side and get to them that way, but then I will have proof it's a person, as no way a dog would be able to do that, or a fox either.

It's ridiculous that I have to lock my hens up for safety at night. Absurd, and disgusting. What is wrong with people? My mind just boggles.

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My three white young chooks were slaughtered last night. Someone is bringing a dog in here and letting it in the coop as there is no way a dog or fox can unslide the bolt on the cage door. I am ropable.

I have notified the BCC about the guy with his Alsatian who I caught today offleash about to jump the fence to attack Bella. I was highly suspicious it's him entering my yard and letting his dog at my chooks but I have doubts now as when Rex was offleash he could easily have jumped my fence but didn't. Or perhaps he already had a very full stomach.

It's the second time I've caught that guy with his dog offleash so I formally complained. Not sure what they will do but I will keep on his back.

Meanwhile I also suspect my crazy Romanian neighbour of killing my chooks with his dog. His dog is blind, so he would have to be the one, opening the coop to let Jack in...but I can't prove either of them, just know it's a human involved. Until dogs attain opposeable thumbs there is no way they could have gotten inside the coops.

Becky Thomas: thats horrid! if i was there i'd stake it out for you one night..

Me: aww thanks Babe. My darling Lyn is going to buy me a baby monitor, I'll leave it in the coop at night...and be able to hear what's going on while I'm in the lounge. Sooner or later I'll catch the scum bastard

Karen Reviews: I hope against hope that you're wrong, because if there are people that cruel out there I might just lose my faith in humanity! My thoughts are with you Tanya... how absolutely ghastly!

Me: rebecka I lost faith in huMANity a long long time ago...but there are also some beautiful people out there, so that inspires me to carry on....pity the ghastly are far outnumbering the heroic, solid and extraordinary.

A friend tells me on Paltalk that it was most likely a fox after all, apparently they have learned to slide open bolts with their teeth, so if so, I am angry at my street neighbours for nought. I think the baby monitor is a good idea, that way I will be able to hear what/who is attacking my girls, and be out in time to witness the attacker redpawed or handed, or pawed and handed. Must remember my hockey stick lol

Sally Castle: Tanya, I have TWO hockey sticks you can have! How horrible for you. You've been though enough.

Me: Thanks Sally but I have 2 Hockey sticks also which will come very handy lmao

Margaret Jakovac: Oh, how horrible. I'm so sorry to hear about the chooks and lucky you were there to save Miss Bella.

Annette Highlands: I wanted to buy you more but my sister would not let me I am so sorry this has happened keep in touch ok

Me: Hugs for the sweet thought of wanting to buy new chooks! But I need a larger chicken tractor in steel before I bring any more home. Too risky that they might get killed.

I put 2 padlocks on the remaining chicken coop to make it harder for whomever is doing it but they will tip coop over on it's side if they are determined. But then I can take photos of the turned over coop and get fingerprints as well. So for now they are safe.

28 November 2010

I had a very productive day doing my favourite thing, Official Schnorring, at a council strip collection day. I scored a cool old wooden ladder for my garden, a Weber bbq (just need a new grill plate for it!), an amazing red front door, a gym bouncy trampoline to use as a dog bed for when my darling Bella gets too old to climb into bed with me, and other assorted schmontzes.

I'm tired but satiated. It's hard work squirreling stuff for free that is about to be compacted in a big truck LOL. At least I'm recycling and saving tip space.

Gail dropped in when I got home with my treasures and said my lips were blue from my efforts with my Sleep Apnoea and Asthma not getting enough air in. But she was impressed with my booty too.

I also got lattice to use in my garden and a whole box of glass jars which I use to make lanterns to put tealights in and I hang in my trees. Soooo cool! I love being an Official Schnorrer. Who needs money when the Universe gives me everything I want for free!

Just need to paint and renovate stuff and noone knows it didn't cost me much. Just time, paint and elbow grease.

Sylvia Shine: you should see the stuff,they put out around here,really good gear

Me: I know, I need to find out when the wealthy suburbs have their annual scrap day so I can scout around there. Would be so cool. There were people scouting with big trucks, utes and trailers today. So I only got stuff I could fit in my car which is not supposed to be driven at mo, cos it needs repairs.

I missed out on so much stuff cos I only have a very small car. I guess the truck people are secondhand dealers anyway, which really made me frustrated as tomorrow they'll clean the stuff up and sell it for 1000 percent profit in their stores. But such is life. I'm glad I got my little efforts.

28 November 2009

saw "A Serious Man" today. It really reminded me of my own life...seriously...but really funny all the same!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons