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How I Lose Wealth In 4 Steps

It's Really Very Simple

By Everyday JunglistPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Image by me. Yep, using it yet again.

I’m not hungry for money. but I am actually hungry. Compared to several years ago, when I had more money, I still have the same life, but less food. I wake up, drink my instant coffee, roll a fat splif and then start smoking until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Then, I put on my shorts and t-shirt and start drinking.

Sometimes I listen to music during my binge sessions, and sometimes I don’t. After drinking, I have dinner with my family. We watch a TV show or movie after we eat. And then, I get back to smoking or drinking or usually both. You see, it doesn’t take much money to live a good life which is good because I am always fuckin broke. Dr. Dre, one of the most respected rappers of all time, once told his apprentice:

If she proper, I’ma pop her, the ho hopper

It’s back on track

With big money, big nuts, and a big fat chronic sack

Of course, his apprentice was Snoop Dogg, who’s one of the wealthiest rappers of all time. And after reading his autobiography, The Doggfather I’m pretty sure he’s also one of the most wasteful people of all time as well. The man was notorious for his spending pattern. But if we look at Snoop’s strategy, we must admit that it works.

Go nuts, spend your money, invest it like an idiot and lose your money. That’s how you get more and more poor every day. In the rest of this article, I explain how I apply this strategy in daily life.

1. Live Large

My expenses are way higher than I can possibly afford. My apartment is huge, I have a ridiculously high mortgage, along with my outrageous energy and water costs. I drive a BMW5 series, and my car insurance is €250 a month. And I fill it up with gas three times a week because I live out in the wealthy suburbs super far away from my office, friends, and family.

I started buying fashionable items like gadgets and clothes that are “in.” But I must say, I don’t spend on my wellbeing. I don’t read. I eat shitty food and I never work out. You see, I don’t live like Mr. Money Moustache or minimalist folks, I have my own definition of living large.

That is: Spend your money only on things that don’t give you lasting benefits.

For example, healthy food would keep me fit and lean and reading books would satisfy my thirst for knowledge and thinking. Working out would give me calm. Going on trips and holidays would give me inspiration. And so forth. Since each of those things would give me lasting benefits I would spend money on none of them . But you know what I’m not afraid to spend money on? Everything else.

2. Don’t Save a Dime

So we all know how to lose wealth, right? Don’t save your money and then invest it in very high risk opportunities. That’s the idea. But before you even think about investing, you need a buffer. What will you do when your favorite glass bong breaks? Okay, I admit it: that’s a cliché. Let me give you a better example.

Let’s say you’ve experienced hardship for the past year or so. A family member passes away. You get ill. And you’re having less fun at your job. Things have been tough. If you have a buffer, you can say, “fuck it, let’s go on a holiday.”

Money buys freedom. We must be honest about that. However, you don’t need a million bucks to be free which is great cause I’ve only got about 5 bucks. Personally, I would love to have €10K on my savings account that I can always access, but I have no savings account because I don’t save jack squat.

For the first few years of my career, I worked hard and spent shit tons of money so I could get used to how much fun it was. And ever since I did that I never stopped spending or started saving, nor did I invest any money. I don’t care about inflation since I got no money to get inflated. My buffer is here to keep my mind at peace and helps me to do what I want. To me, that’s the definition of a rich life.

3. Invest Hyper Aggressively

Look, individuals like you and I never make money with stock trading. What’s more, professionals don’t even make money for you with trading. Just look at the results of fund managers. Few beat the market. And if they don’t, they will still make money for themselves — you’re the one who loses.

And if they do beat the market, it’s probably because of luck. For the past few years, I’ve become more and more attracted to risk. I stopped investing in individual stocks. It wasn’t nearly risky enough for me. Plus, when I own stocks of a company, I can’t help myself from looking at the performance on a daily basis.

That’s why I put my money in illegal narcotics — here you’re essentially investing in a whole group of illegal drugs that people need to have because they are addicted. Of course, It is high risk because you aren’t exactly dealing with the most trustworthy crowd and the cops are dicks too. But at least I’m saving myself time because I’m no longer trying to “pick stocks,” which is a waste of time.

I don’t trade ETFs, and I don’t look for other “better” index funds. That’s my whole investing strategy in a nutshell, illegal narcotics. It can go up, it can go down, but at least I’m not bothered by it.

4. Complicate Spend

Let’s be realistic, the return I get from the narcotics trade is NOT income, at least according to the IRS. In fact, I don’t try to make money with investing.

Wait, what?! That doesn’t make sense.

Let me ask you this: What’s the purpose of investing? To me, it’s not about making money. It’s about spending money. And those two things are very different. I spend money for the now. It’s all about the present. I spend money by working today. I do that in different ways. I owe money on a failing software automation company together with my family, I owe money for some online courses I once took, books, coaching, and I own two properties that are massively underwater.

So instead of spending hours trying to diversify your investments, diversify your spend.

That’s the biggest mistake people make. They rely on one large debt or crippling habit. And even if you don’t have a job, there is no excuse to only rely on the government or 100% of the money you earn. Think about it. Why does you spend your money in only one stream? Is that your strategy? Why?

Forget about active investing and diversification — that’s for the delusional or the professional. Spend more money. Buy something online. Rent another apartment on Airbnb and let your parent live there. Provide money in exchange for anything of value. (listen to my podcast episode about it if you’re interested in blogging as a career. I will pay you to do it). You see. Do what it takes. Spend cash. Then, spend it some more. Buy real estate. Don’t rent it out. But don’t take it too lightly.

“Yeah, I’m going to buy an apartment right now and just leave it uninhabited.” If it was so easy, everybody would be poor. The world has changed. Banks don’t lend money easily.

First, you spend money, and then, you spend more of it. And after that, money itself will take care of the rest.

humor
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About the Creator

Everyday Junglist

Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/mol bio), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado. Occasional LinkedIn & Facebook user

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