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What The Hell

I laughed and laughed when this became a thing, as I realized it is not as cute when I say it!

By Denise E LindquistPublished 8 months ago 3 min read
What The Hell
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Driving through Nebraska we stopped at a gas station that had casino games. It was an alcohol distributor and deli and had other miscellaneous items. Very similar to most convenience stores/gas stations in Minnesota. We decided to have something to eat from the deli as they also had lunch seating. We needed a break from the truck by this time.

As I watched different people leave with their purchases I saw a man carrying a twelve-pack of Budweiser Zero. As I saw that I said to my husband as he was looking in the same direction, what the hell? Zero carbs, zero alcohol? Wow, what now? My husband was a beer drinker and he said, “I tried drinking near beer but soon I was putting regular beer into my near beer can!”

According to a review, it pours clear amber with few bubbles and little head. It looks a bit sad and flat in the glass. The aroma is weak, but inoffensive enough.

Not a review that would encourage me to try it!

I have a feeling it is not a good idea to drink anything like that when you are trying to quit! I can’t imagine it has the same effect as alcohol. Why else would someone want to drink beer? Okay, I get that is probably only my opinion as a wine and vodka drinker.

Sometime in my recovery, I heard about all the new drinks I was missing out on. Wine and Vodka drinks especially. The flavored vodka for example was the worst. Vodka was my favorite drink.

Before I quit drinking, I would drink fruity vodka drinks by adding fruit, and one of my favorite other drinks was called a salty dog. Delicious, I thought. That was for the first drink or two. After that, I drank vodka straight.

When wine coolers came out, the same thing, I believed I was missing out, until I realized it didn’t matter after the first or second. I drank Mad Dog 20/20 and white port probably more than anything else at the end of my drinking. Whatever was cheap.

One of my favorite comments has been what the hell when it comes to what I first think I missed out on because I stopped drinking. There have been other things too.

This isn’t the kid that I heard first but you get the idea. Okay, well I thought I knew how to add a video. Apparently not but I laughed when I said out loud sitting all by myself, “What the hell and a What now!” Someone in publishing did figure it out for me.

I was talking to my husband about writing this story and I happened to ask him if his snoring woke him up. He was taking a nap. Perfect day to be spending time indoors. It was 97 degrees outside. He then said, “I don’t snore, it was the couch!”

For sure I want to say what the hell, and what now. Instead, I said, “You said the couch makes your farting noises and now this? I don’t think I can believe either of your comments now. And if that couch has any more of your habits, we will have to buy a new one!

That may stop him from blaming the couch, but I doubt it!

What Now free meme adapted.

I am a football, baseball, and hockey fan. I follow the games mostly on my phone now. When I was young I would listen on the radio with my Grandpa to the Minnesota Twins and the Vikings. I am sure he said, What the hell, bullshit, and what now! That is probably where I got it from.

I am still a Minnesota Twins fan, a Vikings fan, and a fan of the Wild. Two of my children played hockey and one son was a huge fan of the Bulldogs and Wild but never played hockey himself. My mother used to watch the Twins, including rerun games, and get all excited about Twins baseball.

I never once heard her say what the hell, bullshit or what now. It was Grandpa. It was not cute when Grandpa was saying it and it isn’t when I say it either. I thought writing about it may help me to change.

This may help me to not say what the hell and what now, but I doubt it!


First published by Bad Form on


About the Creator

Denise E Lindquist

I am married with 7 children, 27 grands, and 12 great-grandchildren. I am a culture consultant part-time. I write A Poem a Day in February for 8 years now. I wrote 4 - 50,000 word stories in NaNoWriMo. I write on Vocal/Medium weekly.

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Comments (2)

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran8 months ago

    Lol, I say what the hell all the time! It's like my go to phrase 🤣🤣🤣

  • Kendall Defoe 8 months ago

    It may affect all aspects of your life when you change your language. Good luck...and all that bullshit... 💩

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