The Day Off

The air felt dry enough to age cheese, and the crickets in the tall grass were working overtime like they were getting paid per chirp. It was the perfect day to be in a pool, submerged, floating, dramatically sighing as the cold water shocked your entire system back to life. Instead, the day itself felt like a weighted blanket you couldn’t kick off, just pressing down with no intention of going anywhere. The sidewalks had officially entered “lava” status; one step too long and you’d swear your shoes were melting, just like the good old childhood game I played with my siblings, except now the consequences felt a little more real and a little more lifelike compared to a living room with couch cushions.

Sweat gathered on my forehead and neck like it had somewhere important to be. Still, it was the perfect day for a swim at the local pool, which oddly looked suspiciously calm. Too calm. I approached the glass door, already feeling the pavement radiating heat through my soles, and there it was, the sign: “We are closed, sorry for the inconvenience.” Sorry? Sorry?? This wasn’t an inconvenience...This was a betrayal. A betrayal by the people at the pool and the employees.

With a dramatic sigh worthy of an award, I trudged back to the parking lot and climbed into my car. Big mistake. The black cloth seats had transformed into a frying pan, and my legs were the eggs. I turned the key. Nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. Fantastic. I cranked the window open, only to be greeted by air that felt like it came directly from the engine itself. Cool. Super refreshing.

Time to abandon ship. I grabbed my swimming bag and wandered to the bus stop, already fantasizing about the house with a pool life I should have just committed to. I mean, how bad could a slightly higher offer have been? Probably less painful than this. Down the street, a group of teenagers clutched their Slurpees like they were sacred relics. I could practically see the condensation sliding down the cups in slow motion. I imagined that first icy sip. Meanwhile, my own water bottle was sitting comfortably at home because, and I quote, “I’ll be at the pool, why would I need water?” Brilliant. Truly.

Finally, the bus appeared. Salvation. I hopped on, paid, and immediately realized something was off. Why was it still hot?

“Sorry,” the driver said casually, “the A/C’s not working. It’s blowing hot air, and I can’t turn it off.”

Of course it is.

I smiled the kind of smile you give when you’re one minor inconvenience away from becoming a villain. “You know what? I think I’ll walk.”

“Oh, I can’t give you your change back,” he added.

Naturally.

“No worries,” I said, because apparently I had accepted my fate as the universe’s personal punching bag.

Walking felt like a full-body workout I absolutely did not sign up for. Each step up the stairs felt heavier than the last, the heat wrapping around me like a wool blanket fresh out of the dryer. The handrail was warm and burned my hand as I confidently placed my palm on it; of course it was, and the hill ahead looked like it had a personal vendetta against me. I paused halfway, questioning every life decision that had led me to this exact moment. I would have swum this distance faster. That pool would be really nice right about now. Sweat slid down my back, my heartbeat thumped in my ears, and my thirst had reached dramatic desert-level desperation.

Finally, I made it home. My basement suite awaited me like a reward, except it wasn’t cool. At all. I stood there, confused. We had A/C. It was working. It existed. I texted my landlord.

A few minutes later: “I told your partner it was malfunctioning. Sorry.”

Sorry again. That word was really doing a lot of heavy lifting today.

Fine. Ice. Ice would save me. I opened the freezer.

Empty.

Of course.

Alright. Cold shower it is. I turned on the tap and got a sad little dribble before it stopped completely.

No. No, no, no.

I texted my landlord again.

“Oh, you didn’t get the notice? Water’s off until about six. They’re working on the lines.”

Amazing. Incredible. Truly a masterpiece of a day.

At this point, I’m convinced the sun and my landlord are working together. This was going perfectly; if I wanted ice cream, I would need to leave my house again, and that meant getting hotter again and getting warm. Stupid house rules, no ice cream because it'll just make us fat. I take a frozen bag of peas and put it on my face; I take the bag and place it on my stomach. So nice! I lie down on the floor with the bag of frozen peas on my stomach, and I put my hands on it. I closed all the binds, i had to get out of my clothing. I stripped down to my underwear and bra. Then, I heard it...I heard the noise I thought I would not be so happy to hear. Clink, clink and whoosh. I stood up. I can feel it; I can feel the cold air! I made it, the air hitting my face and my body, and I stood there in my living room smiling and laughing about the cold air and feeling it.