The Bagpiper and the Septic Tank

What do you do if you find yourself feeling down, frustrated, or even downright depressed? And, have you ever met someone in your life whom, even after he/she's gone, can still make you smile and even chuckle for at least 10 seconds?

My answer is: Yes, I've been lucky to have met someone as such, and I would often think of him when the going got rough for me.

No matter how many times I listen to uncle Al tells the following story, I always get strong chuckles starting from my stomach and flowing down all the way to my toes. It's been one of my favorite get together stories of all times.

My Dad had a friend named Alphonse, but we all called him uncle Al. He did not come over to our house often due to the nature of his work. His real job was a Tax Accountant, but he liked calling himself a bagpiper. This was because he could belt out any tunes from his bagpipe. Thus, whenever he could come over, we'd encourage him to tell us his "septic tank" story for us and for our guests of that evening. And, if we were all in the mood for songs, we'd get him to play some tunes from his bagpipe as well.

I think that it's best to present the story in the first person, just like uncle Al told it.

Here it goes...

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guys had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew remaining, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and saw that the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' several workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, and we all wept together.

When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS, I never seen nothing like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for thirty years."

RIP uncle Al.

He died several years ago, peacefully in his home. It was only two years into his retirement. I received a call from my Dad while I was on vacation in Thailand with my girlfriend. My Dad told me that one of his daughters called and said that uncle Al did not wake up for his usual breakfast time. She went into his room and found that he was still laying on his bed. She approached the bed and tried to wake him up, but he was unresponsive.

I wasn't able to return to the USA in time for his funeral. My Dad did hire a bagpiper to pay him the final respect, bid good bye, and sent him up to Heaven where he came from.