Satirical
Four Things Humanity Has Never Properly Explained
Human civilization has accomplished some remarkable things. We split the atom. We landed people on the moon. We built machines capable of seeing galaxies billions of light-years away. Somewhere, at this very moment, scientists are using supercomputers to model the origins of the universe. And yet, three plastic clothes hangers placed side by side in a closet can still form a knot that no living mathematician could explain.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
An Investigation Into the Private Behavior of Otherwise Respectable Adults
Human beings are dignified creatures. We wear clothing. We use silverware. We attend meetings. We shake hands. We say things like, “Wonderful seeing you again,” even when we have absolutely no recollection of who we're talking to. Civilization depends upon maintaining this image. But civilization has one enormous weakness: sometimes we're alone... And the moment a human being becomes reasonably certain nobody is watching, approximately 40,000 years of social development disappears.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Is Reading on the Toilet Still a Thing?
There was a time in America when entering someone's bathroom meant being granted access to their private literary collection. Nobody discussed this. Nobody questioned it. You simply walked into the restroom, locked the door, sat down, and discovered that your host had thoughtfully provided enough reading material to survive a minor gastrointestinal emergency.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Pandit Yad Adnan and the Hottest Month
By the time Sri Venkata Narasimha Rao fled Russia for Somalia, he had acquired three new names, two pairs of sunglasses, one linen suit of a color best described as unsuccessful pistachio, and a theory--unsupported by meteorology, theology, politics, common sense, or any other branch of human inquiry--that a man pursued by the consequences of his past ought always to travel south.
By ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR2 months ago in Humor
The Day that Hell Froze
Everyone says that they will do something "when hell freezes over," and they mean that as a way to say that that will never happen. This story starts the day right before, in my mind, hell froze over and is about what happened to me on that day.
By Adora Hooper2 months ago in Humor
AC? DC!
I survive this heat. Neighbor's bikini slips down... Where's the damn AC? Ladies and gentlemen... It might seem strange to begin with a haiku in our tribute to the late great Arthur ''Red'' Calentado, but I felt that his sense of humor, difficulties in his final days, and general talent with the written line would come through best with a sample of the very last thing the man ever wrote (one scrap of paper they let us see).
By Kendall Defoe 2 months ago in Humor
Things We All Pretend We Know How to Do
There comes a point in every person's life when you realize something deeply unsettling about adulthood: nobody knows what they're doing. As children, we assumed adults possessed information unavailable to us. They understood mortgages. They could balance a checkbook without asking anyone for help. They knew which wrench to use and the names of both screwdriver types. (Phillips, flathead) They could determine whether a melon was ripe simply by touching it. They could stand beside a broken car, stare into the engine compartment, and somehow diagnose the problem through facial expressions alone. Then we became adults and discovered the terrible truth: they're bluffing. We're all bluffing...
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Taking The Fifth, Anniversary Two A New Level
Known for snapping closed books, librarian Wendy Carter fantasized about a romantic engagement, with college sweetheart, permanent study partner, Randolph, passionately cuddling while discussing life's intellectual meanings. Collecting daily take home texts, before revisiting her personal datebook, reassuring five years ago today; she committed to being Mrs. Carter.
By Marc OBrien3 months ago in Humor
