General
The Housing Market is on Fire... Literally. Rent Comes with Free Marshmallows Now.
Welcome, You Brave Homeless Souls Congratulations, reader. If you’re viewing this newsletter, it means you can still afford Wi-Fi… Cherish that… Because according to Zillow, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is now an arm and a leg, one functioning kidney, a vial of dragon’s blood, and three Funko Pops from 2018.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
The Miss Gloria Hour: Is Taylor Swift Really Her Guest This Week?
“Trixie! What’s going on? Why are you calling me at three in the morning? I’ve gotta be up early. We have a big day.” “I am so sorry, Jason. I just received a phone call from Debbie. She's at Cedar Sinai. She tried calling you twice but you didn’t answer. She left you a few voicemails. Gloria is in the hospital.”
By Rick Henry Christopher 7 months ago in Humor
The Grumpy Old Men are back: Easter Bah!
Marty and Steve are two grumpy old men who live together. They have known each other for years. Marty is very religious, which may have contributed to his never marrying. Steve has no time for religion. Steve loves to take “the mickey out” of Marty at every opportunity. Easter is no exception.
By Calvin London7 months ago in Humor
Duct Tape, Bubble Gum, and Baling Wire: The Poor Man’s Welding Torch
They say necessity is the mother of invention. But out here in the real world, it’s more like duct tape, bubble gum, and baling wire are the unholy trinity of emergency repair… and she is one tough mama.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
It Began As A Mistake
Welp, crap. I guess I should say sorry for that, and of course, I am, well, mostly. I mean, it really wasn't like you didn't expect someone to, well, you know, and I don't know, I just couldn't help myself. You know, it might bring you some comfort in knowing that it was me and not some random stranger that did it. In that case, you're welcome, seriously sweetie, it was my pleasure.
By Kelli Sheckler-Amsden7 months ago in Humor
The Greatest Pranks Are The Ones You Commit Everything To
Pranks can be a good time, but they do, sometimes, present some risk. Some of the pranks that I played when I was younger, particularly in my earlier years, are not things I would attempt today. For example, when two girls that me and my college age buddy were constantly getting us, including things like toilet papering the tree in front of my house, or egging his car, or weird phone calls before caller i.d. was a thing, us guys set out on a mission to prove our superiority as pranksters. But what were we to do?
By Jason Morton7 months ago in Humor
The Lighthouse Ending Explained
The Lighthouse is one of those rare horror movies that stays in your head long after the credits roll. It is disturbing, mysterious, and completely open to interpretation. The film follows two lighthouse keepers trapped on a remote island, cut off from the rest of the world. As the days drag on and the weather becomes worse, the isolation slowly destroys both men mentally. The younger man, Howard, becomes increasingly obsessed with the lighthouse itself, especially the glowing light at the top that Wake refuses to let him near. Wake, the older keeper, treats the light almost like it is sacred. He protects it, hides it, and acts as if Howard has no right to even look at it. As time passes, the two men begin drinking heavily, arguing constantly, and losing touch with reality. They start seeing things that may not even exist. Howard sees a mermaid on the shore. He has strange visions involving Wake, tentacles, and the man he once let die before arriving on the island. Wake himself seems less and less human as the story continues, almost transforming into some kind of sea creature or mythological monster. Things finally explode when the men realize that nobody is coming to take them home. Their time on the island has stretched far beyond what it should have been, and they are completely broken by the experience. Howard eventually snaps. He attacks Wake, kills him, and drags his body outside. Then comes the moment he has wanted the entire movie. Howard climbs the stairs to the top of the lighthouse and finally reaches the light. He opens it, touches it, and immediately begins screaming in pain. Moments later, he falls down the staircase. The final image shows Howard lying broken on the rocks while seagulls tear into his body. It is a shocking ending, but there are two major ways to interpret it. The first theory is that the movie is secretly inspired by the Greek myth of Prometheus. In that story, Prometheus steals fire from the gods and gives it to mankind. As punishment, Zeus has an eagle eat his organs every day for eternity.
By JAMES NECK 7 months ago in Humor
Why the Rich Never Tell White Lies After Labor Day
Every year, as the last rosé is chilled, the final seaplane taxis off to Aspen, and Labor Day folds its socially acceptable linen napkin, an ancient tradition quietly stirs among the elite: They stop telling white lies. Why you ask?
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
The Lavender Tsunami and the Great Pool Slide Barricade
Dear Mary, Please accept my most sincere apologies for the state of the downstairs guest bathroom. I know you specifically asked me to keep the “Sanctuary Suite” pristine for your mother’s arrival this evening, and I truly regret that the Egyptian cotton towels now smell faintly of low-tide and desperation.
By Meko James 7 months ago in Humor
Reguarding Your Car
I want to begin by saying I’m sorry about your car. I understand that, at a basic level, it is frustrating to come outside in the morning and find that your vehicle is no longer in the exact condition—or location—you left it in. That’s completely fair. I take responsibility for the initial incident, which, to be clear, was a minor misjudgment on my part while moving it a short distance.
By shallon gregerson7 months ago in Humor
