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Author's Aside Again

A D.I.D. Convo Excerpt

By Andrew C McDonaldPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
2

A Humorous outake from my 3 favorite authors.. Me, Myself, & I.. no You there. In the pic above you can see Me watching from the sidelines as You faces down Myself & I.

AUTHOR(S) ASIDE:

I: “What? Again? What the heck’s he a side of now?”

Me: “Who cares. Stop that!”

Myself: “Who? Me?”

Me: “Yes, You.”

I: “You already left. Remember?”

Myself: “Stop what?”

Me: “Stop the aside jokes.”

I: “Oh, that. Well,.., just what is he a side of? It’s a reasonable question.”

Me: “Now cut that out! He’s aside of himself, okay.”

I: “I was just asking. Don’t get all huffy on Me.”

Myself: “Ooohh, …, damn! Sometimes I just want to smack Myself when I do that to Myself.”

I: “I heard that!”

Me: “Shut up! Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, I remember.”

I: "Here’s another joke I made up (he’s talented like that). This one is in reference to the term “Global Warming.” For those of you who recall – or possibly are still in – your younger school days this joke combines elements of Social Studies (Geography?) with the tenets of Ecology."

_____________________

Mrs. McCurdy, the Social Studies teacher, stopped by the school supply store to buy a new world globe for her 5th grade class. Upon searching the aisle where the globes were normally at she was unable to find one. Stopping a passing stock clerk she asked where the globes had been moved. The stock boy pointed with a thumb over his shoulder and said “They’re back there now ma'am.” Looking where the young man was pointing, Mrs. McCurdy saw a silver colored metal door at the rear of the store. “Why were the globes moved?” inquired the teacher. The clerk replied, “Well ma'am, we had to install a special cooler for them what with all this hooplaw about Global Warming.”

Me: “And… Back to You.”

Myself: "You who?”

I: “Yoohoo? Isn’t that a chocolate drink?”

Me: “I think so.”

Myself: “Oh. Okay. Well, back to the phraseology.”

I: "Nope. Let's do one more joke first."

Me: "Probably best since we have to make 600 words to avoid the headache of submitting a short work to a long-winded community."

I: "Okay then... Here it is"

CUSTERFLUCK: (Yeah, it’s actually another whole joke… What a Charlie Foxtrot…)

Our artillery unit had just returned from a field exercise and were attending a battalion debriefing. The S3, unsatisfied with the overall performance, referred to the whole thing as a "Charlie Foxtrot". Seeing the A-Company XO, a 2nd Lieutenant, scratch his head and look puzzled the Colonel requested the S3 explain the term. The S3 laughed and stated that the term Charlie Foxtrot was phonetic for the more well known term of the same initials and was traceable back to the Battle of Little Big Horn. Now looking puzzled himself the colonel said "Little Big Horn?" "Yes sir," said the S3. "After the end of the battle the war leader of the Sioux nation was quoted as stating the whole thing had been one huge CusterFluck."

Myself: " What's an 'S3?' ... or for tht matter... What's an XO?"

Me: "The Operations officer for a miltiary unit. The S3 does the planning for whatever CusterFluck the soldiers will get into next."

Myself: "Thanks. Uhm, and the XO?"

I: That's the executive officer. The 2nd MFIC ..."

Myself: "Ah. But..., what's an MF..., Oh never mind..."

*******************************************

The above is an excerpt from a comedic work I wrote a while back that is mostly a dictionary written in puns {think Jeff Foxworthy} that is narrated by three subjects: Me, Myself, and I. The Dictionary is called

P.O.P.P.L.E.R. – EFFECT :: Plethora of Pedantic Phrases Limited English Rendition

As you can see it is also smattered with a number of jokes. All jokes contained therein are the product of Me, Myself, and I. No You there.

*********************************************

SatiricalSarcasmLaughterHilarious
2

About the Creator

Andrew C McDonald

Andrew McDonald is a 911 dispatcher of 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain.

https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Keys-Andrew-C-McDonald-ebook/dp/B07VM843XL?ref_=ast_author_dp

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Comments (2)

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran3 months ago

    Hahahahhahahahahahah special cooler for the globes! You're so awesome with these jokes!

  • Real Poetic3 months ago

    Thanks for sharing!

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