A Notification Dilemma, a Vocal Roasting

A ONE WOMAN SITCOM

Disclaimer

I in no way apologize for roasting or for uttering the following truths or dares

First, I asked the "All Father" if he could make notifications scroll

"Wha-do-ya-mean-scroll"? He calmly vociferated

"All you-gotta-do-is-grab-the-link-and-jamb-it-somewhere-and-you-can- then-scroll-all-you-want. Dumb-dum"! I thought I heard him whisper when he thought I was'na listening. But, I heard it, I wouldn't lie to ya.

So I am grabbing the stupid link and planting it here and there

I am Techy challenged, I told him and everyone

I ask the kids to help with techy stuff, little farts have no patience and they will laugh at my lack of tech savvy

You gotta love em...Right?

Anyway, back to Notifications

So I write a story and posted it just two whole minutes ago

Suddenly a message pops up

Such and such liked your story six hours ago

Dude, I just posted the frinking thing three minutes ago

Who went back in time and read the story SIX hours ago

Wait! Give it a sec......Blink

Such and such liked your story two minutes ago!

Autocorrect works wonders...ain't it (as the British will say)

"What the #$#@&(#"?

Furthermore, "HOW CAN YOU LIKE MY STORY IN TWO MINUTES WHEN IT IS A FOUR MINUTEs READ AND I ONLY JUST POSTED IT"

Do me a favor and read the story before you like it. Like little baby Cezanne Libellen said when she threw a fit and cussed us all out:

"Please Don't read my Top Story". Cezanne is seriously ticked off here.

Seriously, she is fifteen going on forty, give the baby some support:

Then to add insult to injury, you didn't even bother to comment

#$@&^%)((*&%$$$#@@$%^&&&$#$#$%$%$$@@!##$*88888

I need Notifications to seriously scroll, it is a pain in the rear

But I can wait until more important issues are cleared up. (Spoken with a tone of shame and downcast eyes for cussing at the "All Father").

I must say that Notifications are great, I love it

Then there are those wonderful people who Subscribe to me

They don't mention if they have read any of my stories

So what am I supposed to do? How do I reciprocate, I love to reciprocate people, give me something. What did you read to prompt you to subscribe, there are too many of us for total freebies, we all need reads to feel loved and comforted. Damn our need for the human touch!!!!!

Do not get me wrong. I adore all of my subscribers, but let me know what you read. Please!

One of my favorite subscribers did not have one single story for me to read

Seriously, his profile said (0) stories....Woe is me

He joined in 2021, and he is watching us. Thank you for subscribing, but! Are you a spy or sumptin'. Better write something soon, or I will be forced to investigate. I love you phantom person. Hope u not a hitman.

OK. What is the fascination of DISCORD. I used it some time ago. Deleted it. Feels like landing on Mars again as I insinuated myself into the Vocal Discord channel. I finally figured out at least how to join the chat. Saw the slot for Top Stories. Apart from real time chat, I am stumped. Don't I already do all that stuff over at Vocal? 'Hep' me Jesus!

So "Humor". You gotta have 600 or more words to post over there, right? I think it should be open to all lengths, or maybe 100 words or more, or something. I am seriously having a problem being funny in 600 words ALL THE TIME. Tis exhausting.

I reserve for now my take on how the new changes have changed or not changed certain things, which I am not sure will ever change. 10 to 20 people will be fine, changes work great for them. The rest of us, UMMMM, I will have to consult with Zoltar over in Magical Realism.

The End! But, wait a minute. One more thing!!!!!

I just read a brilliant story, got to the end....And..."I am sorry, but (brand new story) is not accepting any comments right now"). Really 💧 💧 For the love of G-d, and for goodness sakes put that at the top, lead with that, I feel like I just read the story in vain. 💧 💧 💧 .