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77 Things I Learned Writing 777 Days in a Row

A Medium.com article by Howard Bubski

By Scott ChristensonPublished 6 months ago Updated 6 months ago 6 min read
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Reflecting on more than two years of writing each morning for Medium, I'm filled with satisfaction for what I've learned, and gratitude for the community. Writing isn't just about making money, it's about a voyage of growth as I grow older each day.

In the words of these great men of literature:

"When one door closes, another opens" - Alexander Graham Bell

"Write with the door closed" - Stephen King

What I've Learned:

1. Writing fills my mornings with a sense of direction and purpose. Writing about myself fills me with joy, instead of the despair of reading about how well other people are doing in the Wall Street Journal.

2. By writing stories about myself, I learned what an interesting person I am. The same should happen to you, if you write about me.

3. A pen is born free of the awareness of being read. Writing for zero readers feels the same as writing for a million readers.

4. Using metaphor. Of course, I don't use a pen. I keep up with modern technology and write with a Word Processor.

5. A pen might feel no pain being unread, but a writer's heart aches.

6. If I pretend to read other writers stories, they will pretend to read mine.

7. Including numbers in the title ("5 ways to..") makes the reader believe they will be an easy read. They will flip through the numbers to get to the end and might accidentally read a little bit on the way there.

8. Write, Pretend, Repeat is a way of life. Consistently will grow a Medium user's follower count.

9. Writing of childhood memories, brings back memories.

By Rameez Remy on Unsplash

10. Reconnecting with old friends is good for the soul.

11. Learning that people don't change is part of life.

12. After writing about my friends' greatest flaws and the crucial times they failed me, family members were another useful well for my metaphorical literary fountain pen.

13. Good writing needs conflict.

14. Sisters can become upset and vow to never speak to their brother again, when their name is used in a title with the word 'neurotic'.

15. Despite what Hemingway wrote, a bottle of gin does not lead to productive writing the next day.

16. Learning how to write apology letters is a useful skill for a memoir writer.

17. Mediocre writers write about their friends, 

18. Good writers write about their family, 

19. Great writers write about the people, places, and events that they found on the internet. 

By Tom Winckels on Unsplash

20. If a single story is an inch long, Wikipedia has enough material to reach from Racine Wisconsin to Mackinac Island, and back again.

21. Don't write clickbait. Clickbait promises the reader hope, and then tells them things that they already know. "Drinking less, sleeping more and laughing with your friends will make you are a happier person!" Who could have guessed?

22. Don't state opinions. Show, don't tell!

23. Good writing teaches the reader something they don't already know.

24. Most people don't know much about snakes. Yet, they are exciting because they can kill us. If one lives in Australia, and steps on the right species, and isn't wearing boots, and it bites them in the right way, and the hospital has run out of anti-venom.

25. To "show" the reader information they have not seen before, I began to catalog the visual features of 523 land dwelling snake species through daily articles posted to Medium.com.

26. Consistency is the King Cobra of writing.

27. If readers (and close friends and family members) say "perhaps you could write about something else?" a writer should be true to themselves. Follow your own voice.

28. After one year of hearing feedback such as, the number of bands on the Spotted Bush Snake is of no interest to anyone, a writer should recall Steve Job's lonely mission with the iPhone, or Elon Musk with SpaceX. Those were also struggles where everyone was against them. 

29. Developing a practice of mindfulness is helpful when dealing with falling readership numbers.

By Alisa Anton on Unsplash

30. Completing the series about snakes with the final article, "7 habits of the Philippine Toad Viper" filled me with a great sense of accomplishment!

31. Learning (from my sister, who speaks to me again) that I most likely have Asperger, and overly focus on an obsessive interests that might not be interesting to "normal" people was insightful. Being overly focused is different when you are a Steve Jobs or Elon Musk and have billions of dollars to build rockets and other "little boys' toys".

32. In the long run, it's important for a writer to choose topics of general interest. For example, Jennette McCurdy's memoir, "I'm Glad My Mom Died", covers a topic most people can relate to. My parents are still alive, so I need to search for other topics.

33. Writer's Block can launch a sneak attack just when a writer has finished a year-long project cataloging snake species. As every possible way to eat healthier, sleep better, be happier, earn profits, and write better have already been posted to Medium by other writers, I must search for new topics.

34. While non-fiction is limited by the sum of all human knowledge, fiction is limitless!

35. Uttering the mantra," I wish I had…" can lead a writer to 123 fascinating stories about primary school.

36. Having written 523 unread articles about snakes taught me that including dialogue in a story is important.

37. A 6,000 word dialogue-only conversation between primary school students can be a groundbreaking work of literary fiction!

38. Being labelled #SoBadItsGood on Instagram and TikTok can increase view counts more than all the tips shown in Medium's "How-To" Articles.

39. After writing about everything I missed out on in kindergarten, primary, middle and high school, Writer's Block can strike twice.

By Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

40. I realized I had strictly been writing in past tense. Experimenting with tenses is a good idea for a writer.

41. "I plan to.." can lead a writer to Googling the Top Ten attractions of the world's 195 countries, leading to 1,950 good story ideas.

42. Having a 5.4 year writing schedule planned is deeply satisfying.

43. Through writing about far away places, I realized I have not done most of the things I said I was going to do one day: sailing the south seas, playing paintball or having a beer at that new place called Hooters on 2nd Avenue.

44. Like waiting days for the Geyser del Tatio in San Pedro Chile to erupt, readers also can get bored waiting for the climax. A writer must know when to speed things up!

By Emily Campbell on Unsplash

- - please scroll past the 33 things I learned about snakes to get to the bottom - - 

 45. Green Tree Python - Known for its vibrant green color and coiling behavior

46. King Cobra - Largest venomous snake, known for its hood and deadly venom

47. Black Mamba - Africa's longest venomous snake, known for its speed and potent venom

48. Gaboon Viper - Has the longest fangs of any snake species

49. Reticulated Python - One of the world's longest snakes, known for its impressive size

By Timothy Dykes on Unsplash

50. Boomslang - Rear-fanged snake with highly potent venom

51. Emerald Tree Boa - Striking green coloration and prehensile tail for climbing

52. Ball Python - Non-venomous constrictor known for curling into a ball when threatened

53. Blue Coral Snake - Highly venomous, with striking blue and black coloration

54. Western Diamondback Rattlesnake - Recognizable by its rattle and potent venom

55. Eyelash Viper - Named for its horn-like scales above the eyes

56. Black-Headed Python - Known for its dark-colored head and powerful constricting ability

57. Puff Adder - Heavy-bodied viper with a distinctive hissing sound when threatened

58. Red Spitting Cobra - Can accurately spit venom at threats up to 2 meters away

59. Bush Viper - Small, colorful viper with a prehensile tail for climbing

By Arvid Høidahl on Unsplash

60. Horned Viper - Named for the distinctive horn-like scales above its eyes

61. Tiger Keelback Snake - Possesses both venom and toxins in its skin for defense

62. Woma Python - Non-venomous constrictor with a distinctive head shape

63. Yellow-Bellied Sea Snake - Highly adapted for ocean life, with potent venom

64. Eastern Green Mamba - Arboreal snake with potent neurotoxic venom

65. Inland Taipan - Known for having the most toxic venom of any snake species

66. Red-Bellied Black Snake - Non-aggressive snake with striking red belly scales

67. Indigo Snake - Non-venomous constrictor known for its iridescent blue-black coloration

68. African Rock Python - One of the largest snake species in Africa, known for powerful constriction

69. Vine Snake - Known for its slender, vine-like appearance and excellent camouflage

By David Clode on Unsplash

70. Rough-scaled Snake - Has keeled scales that give it a rough texture and appearance

71. Mangrove Snake - Unique ability to flatten its body to move through tight spaces

72. Sunbeam Snake - Named for its iridescent scales that reflect light like a sunbeam

73. Cat-Eyed Snake - Named for its vertical pupils, similar to those of a cat

74. Amazon Tree Boa - Arboreal snake with a wide variety of color morphs

75. Cantil - Highly venomous pit viper found in Central America

76. Coachwhip Snake - Fast-moving snake with a whip-like appearance and behavior

77. Hognose Snake - Known for its upturned snout and elaborate defensive displays

---

Note: I'm posting this on behalf of Howard Bubski, who claims that some characters and events portrayed are fictitious, even though it mostly rings true to me. Boring text about snakes was generated by ChatGPT. All photos from Unsplash and Wikimedia Commons.

Satire
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About the Creator

Scott Christenson

Born and raised in Milwaukee WI, living in Hong Kong. Hoping to share some of my experiences w short story & non-fiction writing. Have a few shortlisted on Reedsy:

https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/scott-christenson/

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Comments (4)

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran6 months ago

    Hahahahhahahahaha this was hilarious! It also reminded me of the 100 things in 20 minutes challenge. How long did it take you, sorry I mean Howard, to write this?

  • Paul Stewart6 months ago

    I love every single bit of this. I was grinning like a bloody cheshire cat all the way through it. We have similar sense of humour...I wrote a Writer's Guide that was basically a parody of so many writer's guides...and people got triggered in the comments. Evidence can be found here - https://vocal.media/journal/the-writer-s-writing-guide. I also did a parody of a clickbait sorta article once, to try and get lots of views and it actually worked lol. - Evidence - https://vocal.media/geeks/celebrities-you-didn-t-know-were-dead-alive-gay-straight-poor-married-to-poor-people-or-vegan! Well done on another exciting insight into the man, the myth, the leg-end Howard Bubski!

  • D. J. Reddall6 months ago

    "2. By writing stories about myself, I learned what an interesting person I am. The same should happen to you, if you write about me." Superbly narcissistic.

  • Is it bad that I was planning to write an article about Lessons from 1 Year of Writing? *Sweat Pours Down Forehead* Should the lesson I get from this be to write 365 Lessons from 365 Days? Haha This was another enjoyable read Scott! Thank you!

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