Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Dead, Alive, Gay, Straight, Poor, Married to Poor People, or Vegan!

Don't you just hate when you are scrolling through a website, often news websites and the like, and then you find yourself bombarded with all of these adverts? Adverts with titles like the title of this post. Clickbait is what we're talking about.

Now not only is clickbait the scourge of the internet because they make big bold claims but do not actually offer anything interesting.

Well not anymore, friends. This is where we switch things up and bring you an actual clickbait article that lives up to its over-the-top title.

So on with the list and yes we are going to drag it out a little because that's what clickbait does.

Something about celebrity culture and how we can't get enough of the latest rumours and gossip about them all.

After Richard Gere shamefully appeared in one of my dreams, I thought it would be a good idea to see what other celebrities were up to these days.

1. Donald Trump

Hard to believe this man was ever voted to be the President of the United States of America. But, there you go...he was. The latest scandal with old Trumpy is that he is denying that he knew a convicted mob boss, Joseph "Skinny Joey" Merlino (gangsters have such fun names. I need a gangster name. Any ideas?) that he was photographed.

In other news, did you know he was straight? That's right. Hard to believe right? See...this isn't just any ordinary clickbait. This actually has facts. So we mentioned Trumpy, seems only fair that the next guy gets a look in on the clickbait action.

2. Barack Obama

Handsome Barack has this nice little tradition at the end of the year of telling us what he liked from the world of music, film, books and the like during that year. His latest, covering 2022, stunk of unadulterated bias, as he picked The Light We Carry as one of his favourite books. You'll never guess who it was by...if you didn't already know cos she's quite a big deal. Michelle Obama.

Yep. old 'Bama (does anyone shorthand his name like that? Or did I just invent it there?) picked a book by his good lady wife. The bias doesn't end there because one of the movies he picked out as his favourite was Descendant, a Netflix joint (we're calling it joint, okay?) that was made by Higher Ground Productions, which he and the good lady wife own. Sheesh, this man's bias knows no end!

Also, I have it on strong authority that Obama eats meat. Heard it hear first!

3. Ellen

Good old Ellen. Say what you like about her. No, seriously. Say what you like.

Also, recently Emily Ratajkowski made a good point about an old interview with Taylor Swift where Ellen basically badgered her about her love life. It's quite difficult to watch. I mean Taylor acts like she's in one of those hostage videos where they are trying to be nice to the balaclava-cladded guys with semi-automatic weapons. "Please stop". Like, Ellen, don't you believe in consent?

I also have heard a rumour that Ellen might be gay. I know! Shock, eh?

4. Din Djarin (The Mandalorian from the show The Mandalorian about The Mandalorian)

With Season 3 of The Mandalorian starring Pedro Pascal as The Mandalorian about the adventures of The Mandalorian and Grogu/Baby Yoda, premiering on March 1st, a new trailer dropped. It's good. You should watch it. This is the way. (To the trailer that is, follow the link, padawan.)

If you don't like Star Wars stuff but like Latino guys, The Last of Us has also started airing. That too stars The Mandalorian star Pedro Pascal.

Rumour has it, Star Wars is referenced in The Mandalorian Season 3. Heard it first here.

5. Johnny Depp (Well, his name is mentioned at least.)

So johnny Depp is doing a new film. So, hurrah Depp fans. He plays a King or something. Anyway, what we really wanted to highlight was the fact that the real runaway star of the teledrama Heard Vs Depp, Camille Vasquez has landed a job as Legal Analyst at NBC! Hurray.

7. Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish has become a household name over the last few years, with her own brand of pop music. If you are like us (who the hell is us? I'm just a me, not an us...), you must be super stoked that young Ms Eilish seems to have found love in Jesse Rutherford (who is a singer with a band called The Neighbourhood, apparently! If you're shrugging your shoulders because you don't know who that is, join the club baby!

8. Kanye West

Old Kanye West has had a disastrous couple of years. The rapper and anti-Semitic has split and divorced from baby momma Kim K and made a lot of bad choices. Including professing his love for Hitler.

In other news though, we are super excited that he got secretly unofficially married to an architect that works for his Yeezy brand called Bianca Censori. Keep trying to touch the sky, Ye, good lad!

9. Beyonce

Lady B got into a bit of bother with her LGBTQ fanbase for doing some shows in Dubai, due to the strict rules about homosexuality there.

10. Leah Remini

We really don't have much to say about Leah Remini, she's the kind of person that appears in these articles. King of Queens...was...okay, though not as good as Everybody Loves Raymond. IMHO.

11. Keanu Reeves

There is usually something nice to say about Keanu. These kinda posts love saying about how he's just like us. And they are right. I couldn't be bothered researching properly, in the spirit of clickbait articles, so here is a link to a post about how many times he's played a John.

12. The Rock

I don't want to discuss The Rock buying WWE or not appearing at Wrestlemania. What I will say is that his "If you smell what The Rock is cooking" phrase originated from his football days.

Who knew?

13. Kevin Hart

It's only fair to talk about Kevin Hart after Dwayne. Kevin Hart is very short. Did you know that?

These celebs and their ways, eh?

Thanks for reading. If you made it to the end, I applaud you. I do actually like clickbait in a kind of masochistic way. Strong is the irony with me over that kind of writing. I also loved Craiyon's unique take on the celebs!

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