Your Thoughts

~Part 1~

Nathaniel walked down the sidewalk, staring down towards the ground. He couldn’t face his parents right now. Not while he continued to fail his college classes. Is he going to remain a failure the rest of his life? The disappointment in his fathers eyes would be too much for him to handle at the moment. The cool breeze brushed by him, carrying leaves past as he continued to walk down the street. Nathaniel didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say, maybe he should just give up? It’s not like he was doing this for himself. It was his parents that made him go to this school. He shook his head. No. He shouldn’t think like that. They are just doing what they can for him to be able to take care of himself. Just unfortunate their child can’t seem to even pass one class for them.

Deep in thought, Nathaniel’s shoulder ran into something causing him to lurch back. “Wha-” he stammered as he caught his balance and looked up. He froze. There was a girl sitting on the ledge next to the sidewalk, her feet were swinging out in his path. As he looked at her he realized she was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, long wavy hair blew around her in the breeze, framing her oval shaped face, yet what caught his attention was the fact that she looked so sad. As he stared he realized her face was emanating the same emotion he was feeling. Sad. Lost. Stuck. She looked his way, meeting his gaze behind a pair of black square glasses. She gasped in shock. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I must have been swinging my legs, I had zoned out.” She jumped down. “Are you alright?”

“What? Oh! Yes, I’m fine, but I ran into you. Are you alright?” Nathaniel was taken aback, why was she apologizing? He ran into her? “I’m the one not looking at where I was going, so I’m sorry.”

She smiled, relieved, “Oh, don’t be! I guess we were both just distracted. Please, excuse me.” she quickly turned and started walking away. “W-wait!” Nathaniel reached out to her, grabbing her hand. She looked back at him, eyes widened in surprise. Looking at his hand on hers he quickly let go, surprised at himself. “Sorry! It’s just…” he sighed and rubbed his head awkwardly. “I’m Nathaniel, it’s nice to meet you.” holding out his hand to shake hers, he smiled. She looked at his hand and back to him, sizing him up. Finally she grasped his hand back. “I’m Chloe. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Well, Chloe, what were you doing on the park ledge there?” he asked as he gestured to a nearby bench. She laughed, “well, I was doing some life searching I guess? The weather is just so nice I ended up basking in it and kind of got caught in my own thoughts.” she explained as they both sat.

“I can understand that a bit.” Nathaniel responded, “I guess it’s just one of those days. Sometimes I feel that no matter how nice the day is, it’s difficult to escape your full reality right?” he looked at Chloe, who was looking back at him, she had a sad smile as she regarded him. “Oh I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring the mood down or anything…” he trailed off, eternally facepalming himself. She laughed, “Don’t be, it’s fine, really. Personally I don’t think it’s a bad thing to not be able to escape reality. I feel it’s better to face reality and try to handle it so that when you are faced by a beautiful scene like today you could enjoy it fully.” she looked down at her hands. “My older sister always said that it’s better to face things at full force than run from it, that way they don’t keep following you.”

“I....I never thought of it that way…” Nathaniel trailed off in thought again. Maybe he should have faced his parents. They only want to do what’s best for him. Anxiety rushed through him as he thought about it.

“Hey, so what’s bothering you? I know I’m a stranger and all, but if you need to talk about something I could be your unbiased consultant.” Chloe winked at him. He surveyed her a moment, looking at her more closely. Her soft brown eyes stared back at him as she smiled widely, hiding any trace of the sad look he saw earlier. “How about we make a deal.” he replied, “You be my unbiased consultant on the condition you use me as yours.” she looked back confused, “What do you mean?”

“Earlier you had the same look I felt. There’s stuff on your mind as well. Let me be for you what you are offering to me.” he grinned. She sat back and crossed her arms, eyes staring him down as she thought for a moment. “Alright, but you gotta buy me a drink first.” she stood up abruptly. “Let’s go, Nel Nel.”

“Nel Nel?!” he shot up and started following her trying to keep up, “What’s that name for?” “Well, Nathaniel is too long, and Nel Nel is more fun.” she laughed as they walked. After some time arguing over whether or not Chloe can choose to call him that, they reached a small café and sat down in a booth. When they received their drinks, Chloe took a huge chug of it. “Ah! That hit the spot! Thank you so much, Nel Nel!”

“Why do you have to call me that.” he sighed, starting to accept his defeat. “Like I said before, silly, your name is too long. Anyway, isn’t it time for you to use your unbiased consultant?” She waved off the conversation as she switched topics. Nathaniel sat back and stared at his cup. “Well, I guess if I talk about it I can figure out what to do with my situation instead of marinating in it.” He sighed, “I’m a college student so I’ve been feeling the cuts of failure ever since I received my class midterm grades today. I’m a bit afraid to face my parents about it as they are the ones putting me through these classes, it’s my second semester and I still haven’t passed a single class…” he leans forward and places his head in his hands. “They’ve done so much for me and yet I can’t seem to make them proud. I don’t want to see the disappointed look my father gave me at the end of last semester when they saw my grades. Honestly I don’t even know if I want to do this business degree and I don’t know how to tell them that either.” He finally said his worries out loud. He looks at Chloe and studies her for a second. It felt so easy to say that to her.

“If you weren’t doing business, what would you want to do, if you don’t mind me asking?” she asked, sipping on her drink. Nathaniel looked down at his hands. He hasn’t considered that actually. After a moment of contemplating, “writing” he stated, nodding mostly to himself. “I always find myself writing random things, or sticking my head into a book for most of my free time.” Chloe took a moment before responding, “Does your school have a writing program?”

“It does.” He looked back at her. “Then you should switch,” she said simply, “you probably haven’t been passing classes because you unconsciously are not happy with the work you are putting in.” she tilted her head back at him. “Have you considered switching?”

“I haven’t… I honestly didn’t even think about that.” he laughed rubbing his head. He has been having terrible motivational issues. Would his parents be okay if he switched his major? “If you are not happy with what you are doing right now,” she continued, “then you should switch things up, start doing different things till you find your motivation. Some things take some time and digging.” Is that an option for him? He sat there thinking about his parents. What would they think? His mom is so sweet and his dad is stern yet loving, maybe they would understand. “You’re right, and all I want to do is make them proud, I can’t do that if I’m suffering now, can I?” Nathaniel laughed awkwardly. Chloe smiled, “Of course! I said something pretty cool aren’t I?” She sat back with a smug look directed to him. “Not when you point it out yourself.” He retorted, smirking. She waved him off, “yeah, sure. So, did saying those worries out loud help in any way?”

“It did, yes. Thanks. Seriously thank you.” he took another drink. “Alright, now your turn, butterfly.” She choked and sputtered from the sip she just took. “Butterfly?!” “Yeah, butterfly, are you the only one allowed to use a nickname?” he laughed. “How is that a nickname when it's longer than my actual name?!” he ignored her and pushed on, “Your turn.” She glared at him for a moment before continuing, “Yes well, It’s a bit complicated so bear with me.” she paused. “I tend to suffer from depression... and it’s been hitting a bit hard lately which hasn’t been making this situation that I’m in very easy. My older sister, Elly, and I live alone. She’s five years older than me and has been taking care of me and our house since our parents left when I was fifteen... Well a few weeks ago she got sick. Very sick.” Chloe leaned forward and stared into her drink, nervously rubbing her hands together. “It’s some form of pneumonia, and it's taking a lot longer for her to recover from it than normal. Since she has been sick and not working, and I being a college student that she is putting up with as well, I’ve been worried about whether or not we will have enough for our bills and house payments at the end of the month. To put icing on the cake, our dog somehow got out of the house and hasn’t come back home.” She laughed, though it didn’t have any feeling behind it.

“That's... damn, that expression you had earlier makes a lot more sense now. Do you think you have time with your college classes to pick up a part time job?” Nathaniel asked. She shook her head. “Not unless I want to drop a class, but Elly won’t let me do that. I’ve been thinking of attempting to get a part time job regardless, but I don’t think any place will adhere to my school schedule.” Nathaniel thought for a second, then smiled at her. “How are you with plants?”

“What?” she looked at him confused. “How are you with plants?” He repeated. “Um… I’m pretty decent, I help take care of my sister and I’s garden and we have plenty of houseplants that I have to watch for Elly who is always working.” He smiled, “I asked because my mom owns a plant nursery. How about I put in a good word for you with my mom? She’s very considerate and would work with your schedule.” Chloe jumps up and , “Your mom owns a plant nursery?! Is she hiring?! Can she work with my schedule?!” He puts his hands up, “Whoa! Calm down now, she isn’t looking for employees at the moment, but if you allow me to talk to her and explain the situation, I’m sure she would love the help.” Chloe wrapped his hand with both of hers. “That would be fantastic! Would I be able to see you more?” He looked at her surprised, “Uh, yeah, sure. The nursery is located right next door to our house.” Chloe sat back down, “Wow, I’m so glad we bumped into each other, Nel Nel. Looks like we can help each other out.” She smiled at him, he couldn’t help but smile back. Her presence is so warm and welcoming to him.

She is suffering so much, more than him, yet she is so kind, so friendly and emits such a happy feeling off of her that it envelopes him. As they conversed over their drinks that were refilled, he can’t help but notice that his previous dread has been washed away. This wonderful girl who he just met for the first time a little over an hour ago has already helped him by just being there. Before he knew it, Nathaniel was saying farewell to Chloe outside the café as she had to go and see her sister in the hospital before visiting hours were over. They parted ways and Nathaniel walked with his head forward. A piece of paper folded into his coat pocket with Chloe’s number written on it and a huge smile on his face. He can’t wait to see her again.

~

He opens the door to his house, “I’m ho-” his greeting was interrupted by a dog he has never seen before running up to him full of excitement. “Whoa, hello, who are you?” he asked, crouching down to it’s level. It was a beautiful golden retriever. It had a slight lazy eye that made him look a little goofy. Scratching it behind its ears, he heard his mom calling from the other room, “Nate! Welcome home! Isn’t he adorable?” she emerged and walked up to them, “He wandered into my shop today so I brought him over to feed him, the poor thing.” she bent down and rubbed the dog’s head, “The collar says his name is Macaroni, I was just about to call the owner.” she points to the tag. “Owner’s name and number was on here, so Macaroni here must have gotten loose somehow.” Nathaniel bent down and grabbed the tag to read it. “Wait… the owner’s name is Chloe?” He took out the piece of paper with his new friend’s number and compared it. “It’s the same, I met Chloe today actually! She mentioned her dog ended up getting lost.” His mom looked at him surprised, then it immediately turned into a huge grin. “My little Nate Nate met a girl?!” He snorted, “It’s not what you think… maybe.”

She jumped up, “Ben! BEN! Our son met a girl!” She ran into the other room leaving Nathaniel with Macaroni. “Why does she have to go and make it a big deal.” He groaned as he stood up and followed his mom. Macaroni trotted happily next to him as they entered the living room, his dad was relaxing on the couch as his mom plopped right next to him, incredibly pleased with herself. “Macaroni’s owner is the girl who Nate just met today! Isn’t that such a coincidence?” She gasped and grabbed his dad’s arm. “Do you think it’s fate?!” his dad laughed, “Honey, calm down, you are more excited than the dog.” She crossed her arms, “So? It’s about time our son found someone he fancies.” Nathaniel sat in a side chair and through his hands up in defense. “Now hold on now, we just bumped into each other and grabbed a drink that’s all.”

“Drinks?” her eyes lit up in excitement. “And you got her number, so you’re planning on seeing her again, right?” His mom leaned forward eagerly. “Well yes, and before I forget there is something I want to talk to you about in regards to her.” With that, he explained Chloe's situation to his parents. His mom’s happy expressions turned to determination. Seeing this change Ben grabbed her arm. “Now Cecilia, before you abruptly decide to hire the girl on, we should look at our expenses and see if we can afford to pay for a part time employee first.” She turned to him and pouted. “Benji, this girl needs us and it’s the first girl Nate has ever even talked about, we have to do something for her.” His dad sat back and sighed. “How about this, call her to let her know we have her dog, while we wait for her to come pick Macaroni up, you and I can go over your store’s budget. When she gets here do an impromptu interview and we will see how it goes.” Cecilia jumped up in glee, “Thank you so much! I’m going to give her a call right now.” she ran out of the room leaving Nathaniel and his dad.

Ben sighed again and sat back, rubbing his face. “Man your mom can be a handful sometimes. What am I going to do with her? So how was your day, Nate?” Nathaniel froze for a moment, suddenly anxiety hit him. He completely forgot about his grades and his situation. He was just so happy about meeting Chloe that it completely slipped his mind. He mentally slapped himself out of his daze, “Oh not bad, how can it be when I met a new friend.” he replied, smiling and scratching his head. He decided he wasn’t up to facing his parents right now. “Well that can definitely brighten any day. You mom is planning on making spaghetti for dinner. Do you think you can pick up some garlic bread from Marcus’ place down the street?”

“Aw but I just got home, dad.” Nathaniel slouched and pouted. Ben laughed, “I was going to get it but it looks like your mom and I have to go over some details about your new friend. Go, remember it’s Friday and Marcus closes his shop thirty minutes earlier on Fridays.” Nathaniel stood up, “Fine, only because I still have my shoes on.” His dad laughed, stood up, and followed where his mom went. After stretching, Nathaniel left for the bread. He will bring up his concerns another day.

~