Your Public Enemy No 1

Well, you might have guessed, it’s not the government, the FBI, gangsters, drug lords or thugs. And no, it’s not your mind either, in case you were swinging that way. I would say it is rather one of the products of an untrained, untamed and overactive mind, that is paradoxically (or not) both your worst enemy (perhaps unbeknownst to you), and your best friend (as you might think).

So what is this mysterious public enemy of yours? Your self-image created by your own mind. And honestly I don’t even know exactly where to start with this. Perhaps with the fact that our self-image is a concept, and as such it lacks the personal dimension, the actual contact with reality. Anthony de Mello has a wonderful way of explaining this in his book Awareness. Nevertheless, as it also is the case with a lot of other concepts, we seem to live by them rather than live in the reality of our reality.

And despite this (being a made-up product of the mind), the concept of the self-image has come to be the one thing that we often use as the basis for our decisions, feelings (which are also decisions about how we want to feel about something or someone) and behaviors. No wonder then, that we sometimes come across as ‘fake’ and we have the same feeling about others.

But why is self-image your public enemy number 1? Simply put, because you might be wearing your worst nightmares out in public, believing that they define who you are. Also simply put, because you think that you need to ‘honor’ your self-image by the decisions you make, and in doing so, you actually end up doing the exact opposite of what you really feel or desire. And again, simply put, because you are trying to live out a concept that you made up based on your insecurities, programs, limiting beliefs, non-constructive emotions and so forth from the past, which has nothing to do with reality and who you really are today.

Obviously there is a gap between your self-image, who you are trying to be, and who you really are and what you feel. And the only way of really bridging the gap and getting to what you want to is to let go. Let go of the fears, of the beliefs, of other peoples’ expectations and so forth. And this should be easy, really. Because the worst has already happened: you have already lived in conflict, you have already sold yourself short, you have already fought the battle inside and lost by not being authentic. So what else have you got to lose?

Besides self-image being a concept that bears no resemblance to your actual reality, it will also come to shape your personality, to such an extent that you might end up not liking yourself. Because, as Joe Dispenza puts it (and I feel this to be accurate): Our personality is a combination of three things. The three things are what we consistently think, what we consistently do and how we consistently are. You can think of thinking, doing, and being. If you constantly think and do everything according to your self-image, you will become your self-image. And the trouble with that is, that you will become something fake, something fabricated, something which you are not.

And despite of this, you might be inclined to think that your self-image is your best friend, as it is your reflection, as it equals who you are and how the world perceives you. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Either way, no matter what angle you are looking at it from, self-image remains your public enemy no 1 – it makes you publicly be who you are not and it always makes you feel exposed to the public, judged by the public and never good enough for the public.

So, before you shoot yourself in the foot, like many a gangster, drug lord or thug, take some time out and analyze how far you’ve come with your self-image, cut yourself some slack for whatever you’ve done and start cutting the cord and listening to your little inner voice who will always show you the way.