You Were Never Her First Choice

What attracted you to your current girlfriend? Many people don’t backtrack to think about it but for many of my readers including yourself, you’re probably with your girlfriend because your self-esteem dictates that no one else is going to really want you if she decides to break up.Your inner feelings keeps you from leaving her because there’s something about her a prudent personality that keeps you around just enough where you don’t want to leave and just enough yet still where you’re constantly competing for her attention. Because she doesn’t give you much attention even though you guys are together. It’s like everything you do from the biggest event to the smallest gesture doesn’t seem to impress your girl. It only bores her.

When you give her a kiss on the lips, she backs away immediately and proceeds to text while smirking blissfully in front of her phone.When you want to have sex, she’s always tired or wants to push back towards another day. And what’s with her always placing her phone facedown on the table while you’re around her? If you’ve always questioned these things in your head then read this article as it pertains some very hard truths to swallow about your current relationship.

I’m sorry to break it down to you, but you might be in a very toxic relationship with your girlfriend right now. Yet, you may not even realize it but, the following examples listed below are eye-opening and will prove to you that your girlfriend is manipulative and doesn’t really love you. If you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship with a female right now, ask them to read this article,share and help men everywhere get out of toxic relationships for their own well being.

Although no relationships are truly perfect, these vital key signs that your girlfriend is toxic can lead you to make better decisions, halt current relationships and even discover healthier ones down the road. It’s my duty as a writer to warn men everywhere about current situations where they’re participating in vitally toxic relationships without being aware of it.

She Doesn’t Text You Back Right Away:

Example A:

It all started when you got your first match on Tinder. You were elated and absolutely thrilled that you finally were able to find someone you thought was interested in dating you. So you ended up chatting with your match on the DM except, she didn’t reply to you right away. Twiddling your thumb and checking your phone every 5 minutes, you kept reading the last message you sent to her with a time stamp ’Seen’ text on the button of your message bubble, still yet, no reply at all. Certainly, you start to feel a sense that maybe she’s not all into you like that. Because if she was, she would’ve text you right away. Or maybe it’s running in the back of your mind that your match is busy at work. In all reality, the same chick who left you on read and hasn’t replied to your messages for several hours is actually getting smashed roughly at some other guy’s place. Because you were NEVER her first choice, the other guy she’s currently in bed with was.

The Next night, she finally responds with a smiley emoji and an explanation that she was “busy” when in your gut, you could tell that this wasn’t true at all.

Example B:

You text your girlfriend “I love you “during your lunch break at work.you periodically check your phone in between assignments only to find out that you haven’t gotten a response and that she left you on read. Meanwhile, your toxic girlfriend is getting her back blown out by one of her so-called guy friends at his place. Before she proceeded to have sex with him, she turned her phone off, took off her clothes, and started her sexual performance doggystyle with a “friend” for 3 hours while you were at work. Yourself, on the other hand, are completely oblivious to your girlfriend’s whereabouts as you get in the car and check your phone again, you notice that she still hasn’t replied.So you begin to get this strange anxiety in your gut that something just isn’t right. By the time you make it home you notice that your girlfriend isn’t on the couch watching TV like she usually is. By the time she gets home, you’re in the middle of playing a video game online with the boys and feel relieved to know she’s back. You frantically ask her where she’s been and she replies “Oh, I was in the middle of shopping with a friend“.You politely ask her for sex later that night but she passively disregard your request and rolls over on the othe end of the bed facing against you.

Something in your instinct and deep within your gut eagerly tells you that it’s time to let her go. You can sense in the air that she’s just not that interested in you anymore. you ask her if she’s been seeing somebody behind your back, only for for her to deny and gaslight you. She claims that you don’t love her enough. You begin to assure your significant other this isn’t true and that you work and come home. Funny thing is, she already knows your whereabouts, when you work,the days you hang out with your friends or seeing family and yet, you dare question where she’s been or whose she might be hanging out with. Occasionally on the days she has sex with another guy behind your back, she might text you “WYD” and if it’s hanging out with your guy friends or work, thats her chance to sneak behind your back to get piped up by another man.

The Verdict:

When someone text you, it only takes 5 seconds to 1 minute to reply back. Unless shes working, if it takes her longer to respond or if she read the message but doesn’t reply back, it’s time to let her go King. It’s a huge possibility that she’s cheating on you. She’s probably doing it out of boredom or is becoming more and more disinterested in you. This usually happens when the girl you’re dating didn’t really consider you as her first option and has unlimited possibilities on dating apps or social media. It could also be because you smother her with too much attention to the point where she got bored of it and craves validation from other men.Time to end the relationship because She’s toxic! Because if you were her first choice, She’d instantly be texting you back and always checking up on you.

She Spends More Time With Her Friends Than With You.

Example:

You and your girlfriend are into different things. You love playing video games and she’s into make up and Snapchat filters. Ironically, you’d like her to play a video game with you because that would make you happy. Unfortunately, she NEVER wants to play video games with you or try to do anything with you anymore, not even sex.The only time she’s around is when it’s convenient for her. Like whenever she ask for money, to make a down payment on her car, to buy her hair extensions,for essential favors,etc. She barely goes out with you to do things together but rather, is always having a girls night out with her friends or always hanging out with that one “friend “ that for some reason, you never seem to get a chance to meet. You barely see her friends around ,in public or at your place. When you do occasionally go out with her on double dates or outings, she seems to treat you like a second thought and always seem to rudely call you her” idiot boyfriend” in front of her single friends at a Starbucks meetup. She disregards you as a real person and treats you like some sort of pet imbecile while around her friends when you do hang out occasionally on a blue moon.

Verdict: If your girlfriend never invites you to hang out with her friends or is always hanging out and doing things with her friends and not with you, she’s toxic and it’s time to let her go. Relationships are about sticking together and doing things as a team and if you feel as though your girlfriend is always hangout out with other people or doing stuff with other people, then you should dump her because you could do way better king!Because if you were her first choice, she’d be spending way more time with you than with her other friends.

She Tells Her Friends Everything, But You’re The Last One To Know About It:

Example:

So you’re playing call of duty one day with the boys online while your girl sits next to you on the couch on her phone texting her friends. from the corner of your eye, you catch her smirking at a text message or snap that she recently received. Curious as to what might be going on, you mute your headphones and say to your girlfriend “what’s so funny? “And she replies by just shaking her head while silently laughing with her hand covering her mouth. It’s as though she doesn’t really want to get much into it. Turns out, what your girlfriend is actually laughing at is this snap of her guy friend’s dick pics on Snapchat. She forwards some of these pictures and send it to her female counterparts as they laugh and smirk together on an inside joke that you are obviously not a part of. Your girlfriend, her female friends and the guy she screws with while you’re at work are all in on a joke that if you knew, wouldn’t be too funny, but seriously detrimental to your bonding with your girlfriend.

The next day, you notice your girlfriend laughing over the phone with her female friends about laughing about something her and a male friend of hers did the other day while you were slaving away at work. Her entire crew knows she’s getting dick from her friend Jim, well, except you! 5 months later, you find out she’s been cheating on you with her male friends, you break up then cry alone in your room.

Verdict:If your girlfriend is withholding information from you but her family, female friends and everyone else knows about it but yourself, let her go. If she was getting tired of you, she should of just broke up before things gotten worse. Because if you were her first choice, whe’d share her most darkest secrets of her life to you, not everybody else.

She has lots of guy friends:

Example:

Your girlfriend has a lot more guy friends than usual. She claims that she’s never done anything with them but how do you truly know? Matter of fact, she talks to two or three of her guy friends more than she talks to you. They’re constantly texting her and they always come to your place to check up on her. When you’re working or outside of the apartment, one of her guy friends may come over uninterruptedly, flirt, get her naked, and have sex with your girlfriend without your knowledge.Sometimes, her guy friend might wait until your relationship with her has taken it’s toll, you broke up with her or vice versa in order to make the move as next in line. even a guy friends who are strictly platonic or only her friend,might try to sleep with her. The exception might be a guy whose already taken and is a relationship of his own(sometimes) ,they’re not sexually interested in her at all or the dude in question might not even be interested in her romantically because of an alternative sexual orientation.

But if your girlfriend has 10+ male friends who she regularly talks to constantly, and they’re straight and sexually attracted to women, chances are ,she’s either already having sex with one of them or she eventually will have sex with one of them once your relationship goes sour and they become available as her rebound.

Verdict:There’s nothing wrong when a female has guy friends, as long as they are not sexually attracted to her in any way shape or form. But if you know that the guy friend of hers is fully single and seems to be a flirt with her, run! Guy friends wait around for the sole purpose of being the main guy in her life.It’s truly hard to pinpoint any fine example of this, however, you’d be better off with a girl who doesn’t have a lot of guy friends at all. It would be much healthier for your relationship. Because if you were her first choice, she wouldn’t really be talking to other guys, she’d be only focus on you!

She Has A Strange little friendship With Her Step Brother:

Example: So you notice how your new girlfriend seems to be awfully close with her step brother. Just the way they talk to each other in the body language between them is profoundly odd. As you walk through the hall of your place, your girlfriend and her step brother are laying on top of the bed chatting away about how things “use to be” and you can’t help but wonder why these two seem so close with each other. Whenever her step brother is spotted at her family gatherings, and you are sated with them, you could glare at the look they give each other and get rather uncomfortable since you aren’t too sure what it all means. Perhaps the mentioning of her brother makes her cheeks rosey red as she slightly rolls her eyes at you.

Years later after you break up, you get a new job at a sandwich shop and you happen to work with your exe’s step brother. One night, as the store is on downtime, you and other crew members casually have a conversation about the craziest sex stories and your exe’s step brother tells you guys about a time where him and his step sister had sexual entercourse for the first time. Your eyes begin to open up in shock as you soon start to realize why your ex and her Step brother seemed a bit closer than usual siblings. Later after your shift as ended, you lay in your bed feeling disgusted that your ex got soiled by her own brother. You go to the bathroom to puke then back to bed and cry yourself to sleep.

Verdict: If your girlfriend has an extremely close relationship with her step brother that seems to be beyond brotherly and sisterly bond, then definitely do your due diligence to find out if they’re still fooling around behind your back, otherwise if it’s only been in the past, it’s OK but I wouldn’t blame you if you you aren’t fond of the her step brother during family gatherings. On the other hand, if their shenanigans continue til this day, let her go and move on King. Because if you were her first choice, she wouldn’t be having occassional entercourse with her step brother while you guy are still in a relationship.

She gaslights you often:

Example:

Every little single thing that’s wrong is all your fault according to your girlfriend. She’s always blaming you for the issues in her life even though it’s not your fault. she might be cold and distant whenever she’s hanging out with her friends but then come around and blame you for being too needy because she doesn’t give you the proper attention in the relationship. She might place blame on you being a pathetic loser who is too needy and is always seeking attention when she’s the one being unfaithful, having secret dick appointments with her guy friends or always hanging out with her females friends over making time to spend it with you. She could divert cheating rumors on you or question your whearabouts when she’s sneaking around herself being unfaithful to you just to eliminate any suspicion of the games she emotionally plays with you. Gaslighting is the most effective way to manipulate someone into believing that they are at fault for the actions of others. Toxic relationships are built from gaslighting and manipulation tactics on both sides, but in this case, your girlfriend could be gaslighting your behavior to control you and keep you in place so that she could get away with her toxicity.

Verdict: Does your girlfriend place blame on you to make it feel as though it’s all your fault for something you’ve never done? If so, she’s simply using a gaslighting technique to divert her toxic actions from you while emotionally sabotaging you into believing that you are the sole cause of what’s all wrong in your relationship. The moment she does this is a true red flag and you need to end the relationship with her immediately. Because if you were her first choice, she wouldn’t go out of her way to manipulate you into believing that it’s her fault she’s sleeping with other guys behind your back.

She Compares You To Other Men:

Example:

So you’re dressing up to take your chick out for dinner. You got your best shoes on, khakis and a dress button up shirt tucked in your pants. Your hair is groomed and combed and all your facial hair is shaved. You go downstairs and outside to start the car where your girlfriend is sitting on the passenger side. She gives you a disgusted look as though whatever preparation you’d done for this dinner wasn’t good enough. She then starts nagging how you should look more like her friend Jim whenever he dresses up or like her other guy pal Ralph whenever he’s looking his best when he hedges funds as a banker at his profession. It appears as though your efforts to groom well doesn’t completely satisfy your ladie.You’re constantly critiqued and compared to all of her so called guy friends, their careers, the clothes they wear, how financially more successful than you that they are Or how far they are in life in comparison to yourself. Because what you do is never good enough. Your weight is heavier than so and so, your height isn’t sexy enough, your arms are too flabby and etc.

Verdict: When your girlfriend can’t seem to accept you as yourself and is constantly comparing you to other guys, dump her. Because if you were her first choice, she wouldn’t be comparing you to other guys.

She Consistantly Bring Up Her Exe’s To you:

Whenever you guys talk to each other, you always notice how she brings up her ex-boyfriend and things that they used to do together. You feel a bit uneasy about this since you’re the current guy in her life and don’t comprehend as to why she would want to constantly speak about someone from her past. It annoys you and makes you question if she still has feelings for her exes. She might even bring up how better in bed they were or how they miss the sex. Sometimes, there might be days where she goes somewhere, you text her and she never replies to you at all. Then she comes back with glowed skin and slightly happy about something except you’re not in on what it possibly might be.

verdict: It’s healthy for your girlfriend to share a few things about their ex boyfriends if they’re open to it. Where it crosses the line is when she constantly talks about it as if she misses them. It’s super condescending and rude. If she’s constantly comparing you to her exes were talking about them every day, it’s time to let her go because it’s likely that she sleeping with one of them or still has feelings for them. Also, it indicates that you might be their rebound and that’s not fair for either of you.Because if you were her first choice, she wouldn’t be flirting with the idea or entertaining the possiliby of talking to her exes or mentioning them to you. You’re more than someone else’s rebound.

She Places Her Phone Face Down On The Table When You’re Together:

Example:

So you’re at your girlfriends place sitting on her sofa couch watching SpongeBob. You hear a notification bing on your girlfriends phone and she picks it up to check who it is. For some reason, whenever she’s done checking the messages, she’d then proceeds to place the phone back facedown on the living room coffee table. She never likes to show you what’s going on or who’s messaging her so she’s slightly tilted the phone towards her face just to make sure you can never peek over and see. She smiles and giggles and then proceeds to text someone as the pinging sound of the digital qwerty keyboard is being tapped on the glass screen of her phone. You wonder exactly who is it but whenever confronted, she just stares zombishly at the phone screen with a smirk on her face without answering your question. She does this all the time. Her rule is that you’re not allowed to see any of her notifications and there’s no establishment of trust when it comes to social media communication.

Whenever she needs to use the ladies room, she’d grab her smart phone.Hmm, something doesn’t seem right about that. Sure everyone is entitled to privacy of who they talk with, but when you're in a relationship, you shouldn’t be left out in the dark with who she chooses to communicate with on a day to day basis.

Verdict: Ususally when a girl places her phone screen face down on the table or wherever around the house, it’s because she’s hiding something and isn’t completely being transparent with you. It could be that she’s DMing that guy on Instagram who wants to meet up with her and have some amazing sex when you’re back at work, a male-co worker trying to pipe her in bed or an ex whose ready to give things another chance. An Actual girlfriend wouldn’t hide who they’re talking with to you, or face their screen face down on the table. If your girlfriend does this, dump her! Because if you were her first choice, She wouldn’t need to face her phone screen down on the table and would have nothing to hide from you.

If your girlfriend exhibits any of these habits or traits, break up with her immediately!

Because you deserve way better than what she is credited for. There are women in this world who will treat you like a king and aren’t toxic. Unfortunately, we often find ourselves with people who have been hurt in the past and choose to treat you the way they have with their past partners did or have difunctional families where they don’t know what real love or treating people with dignity and respect actually entails. you owe it to yourself to break up with this toxic girlfriend of yours and take a year off from dating completely.

Take Time To Heal:

Take at least a year off from dating. No social media dating apps! The more you can heal with no distractions, the better man you’ll become later. I know it’s hard to be alone and I know it’s hard to not have a companion by your side, but to truly discover yourself you must go through the space to heal.

Seek A therapist

Likely more than not, there are a lot of things on your chest that you just need to let out. Talking to a professional therapist will be your best bet. You may have a lot of inner psychological issues from your past and from the toxic relationship that you don’t even realize until you speak to a therapist yourself.

Hit The Gym OR Exercise:

Start joining a local gym and gradually exercise. Do this for yourself not for a woman. Or allow the world to be your playground by taking walks lifting dumbbells at home and doing other activities that will keep your body in motion. Your body is less stressed, worried or depressed when you can release endorphins by exercising.

Eat Non Processed Foods:

start eating healthier foods that are less processed. Stop eating out and cooking more. Get into the groove of making meals with lower sodium in her actually good for your body mind and spirit.

Make Goals For Yourself:

While you’re alone, it’s important to make goals for yourself. Write down achievable goals that you can complete within the next six months of your journey being single. It could be anything from investing in cryptocurrency to starting your own business like you’ve always wanted. This will keep yourself busy and non concern about chasing women.

In a Year, Get back into the marketplace but keep this in mine:

Women should not be the focus of your life, they should simply complement it. When you decide to go back into the dating scene and you find someone again, make sure you’re in control of who you let in your life. If they don’t have some of the same interests or goals you do, then don’t bother dating them. Toxic relationships are often by products of lustful connections where both parties have little to nothing in common. It’s much better if your partner has something in common with you.

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