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You may have a variety of attachment types

In many intimate relationships, your connection depends on the circumstances

By Chloe SimsonPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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You may have a variety of attachment types
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

When you examine your attachment style, waves of feelings may wash over you.

As you start the journey into a safe attachment, you might reflect on all the errors you've made in the past or feel confident.

In actuality, these ideas will circle around in your head repeatedly. There is no need to move too quickly; this is the process.

Perhaps some of you are just starting, and today is the first day.

Do you now recognize the influence of your attachment style? The first step in completing this quest is that.

Let's start you off with some abilities that will aid you on your route because there are many aspects that go into your evolution.

Your eyes, please

I realize that this may sound very apparent, but you need to develop this skill from the very beginning.

Knowing your attachment style requires more than just declaring, "I am a terrified avoidant."

In many intimate relationships, your connection depends on the circumstances. It's complicated, because you're not necessarily 100 percent of one style.

You may have a variety of attachment types, and this is tied to the triggers that result in different behavioral responses.

When communicating, you might act dismissively avoidant, yet when accepting love, you might be fearfully avoidant.

Take a series of online tests to determine your attachment style before diving in headfirst.

Do not press the button.

Your greatest asset is your understanding of your triggers.

I used to think that my interpersonal behaviors had more to do with me personally than with my attachment style.

You will have a firm grip on your reactions once you are aware of your triggers. When something upsets you, you'll be able to tell your partner about it.

As someone who is primarily dismissive-avoidant, for instance, I found it difficult to let someone into my personal space. I started communicating the boundaries instead of feeling irritated when that area seemed to be violated.

Because of this, it was less disrespectful to say that my need for solitude had nothing to do with my desire to be close to my partner.

The following articles can help you identify your triggers: dismissive avoiders, anxiously worried avoiders, or terrified avoiders.

Turn into a robot

Some people are receptive and accepting of this aspect of the structure, while others are not.

When it comes to relationships, you must turn into a machine.

Why does that matter?

Realizing you're a work in progress is essential to overcoming your attachment style. It entails practicing skills that are already well-known by others.

You'll need to practice communicating better. You'll engage in chats that flow like a corny movie therapy scene.

You'll create a strategy to express your requirements, stressors, values, and conflict-resolution strategy. You need a supportive partner who will engage in these difficult discussions with you and help you overcome your natural impulses.

Let go of the ego

Although admitting your mistakes can be difficult, doing so can set you free and pave the way for genuine growth.

It does not imply that you must regret every disagreement you ever had with your relationship.

It entails starting over with a clean slate while acknowledging how your actions have contributed to trying moments in your relationship.

You examine both internal and external factors to understand how your attachment styles interact with one another and the dynamics of your relationship.

To be able to ask, you must first give.

As you both develop strong relationships to one another, your wants cannot take precedence over those of your spouse.

Your required actions and behaviors will occasionally feel forced and uncomfortable. Good! that is expansion.

Stop trembling

Stop shaking is not what I mean when I say it. Get rid of your accumulated fear of embracing change.

I understand that you wish you had been a better person and that you had realized your attachment type sooner.

Even for someone with a secure attachment style, that is not conceivable.

You are complicated and fortunate to have had a lengthy life with the opportunity to start afresh.

Accept the change.

New beginnings

Start right away.

Conclusion

Never lose sight of the reoccurring idea that it is alright if it is only day one as you proceed on this trip.

Although it may take years, developing the practices and abilities that will support your development is the first step in changing your attachment style.

Change is letting go of what you know in order to accept what you want to learn; it can seem strange and uncomfortable.

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