Yes, My Relationship Ended Two Years Ago and No, I’m Not Interested in Dating

Is there a time limit for how long a person is allowed to be single after a relationship ends? Because if there is, my friends and family are quite sure I've blown way past it.

And now it's like there is now some unspoken competition to see who can introduce me to Mr. Right first.

Every week it's…

"You should go out and meet people."

"You should try dating apps."

"Come to my dinner party so you can meet so-and-so."

"You should meet my friend's uncle's cousin. He's great."

Newsflash: I'm not interested.

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When did it become socially unacceptable to be single, anyway? People treat me as if suddenly I have a disease and the only way to cure me is to set me up. Can't anyone see how well I'm doing without one? Doesn't anyone remember what the last one did to me?

No thanks. Not interested.

Besides, all my married friends are perpetually unhappy and that does not look like fun to me. I'll pass.

Most importantly, I like being single.

Yeah, you heard me right, I like it. In fact, I LOVE being single.

Why, you might ask? Well….

I have my kids every other week. This means one week I get to be the best Mom I can possibly be - 100% focused on them - and the next week, I can do anything I want.

If I want to wake up on the weekend and go on a road trip or to the beach or hiking, I hop in my car and I go. I eat the snacks I want to eat. I listen to the music I want to listen to and I go for as long as I want to go without ever having to check in or ask permission or explain why to anyone.

Deuces.

If I want to binge-watch terrible reality TV, I do. No explanation is needed. No haggling over what to watch. No expectations that I have to wait for someone else to watch the next episode of Farmer Wants a Wife… (hey, don't judge me - have you seen those farmers??)

If I want to order Indian food 7 days a week instead of cooking, I do! Does anyone else like Indian food? I don't know. Does it even matter? Nope.

When is the last time I shaved my legs? Hell, I don't know. Who cares? I sure don't.

I have no finances to split or fight over. No need to ask permission to splurge.

No one steals my covers. Or snores. Or leaves the toilet seat up.

And I LOVE it.

I. Love. It.

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I don't feel alone. Or lonely. I'm happy with my life. Like, really freakin' happy.

Will this ever change? Maybe? I don't know. I honestly can't imagine wanting to change anything in my life now or anytime in the near future.

And no, that doesn't make me strange or sad or pathetic or any of the things that people seem to imagine when I say I've been purposely single for two years.

My last relationship tore me to pieces and I'm still healing. And I'm still getting to know this new and improved version of me. Maybe I'm not ready to share her with anyone else yet - because frankly, she's kind of a badass and I don't feel like sharing.

I'm going to stay single for as long as I want. And I'm going to love every second of it. So please, please, please - stop insisting that I date.

Because I don't want to.

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Don't judge your friends who choose to be single, people. I promise you, we're doing just fine.