Would You Date Someone in a Non-Monogamous Relationship

Women marrying more than one man have flooded social media, causing mixed reactions on these platforms.

While some religions and customs allow a man to marry more than one woman, it is often rare to see a woman have multiple partners.

Polyandry is a form of non-monogamy in which a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time. It refers to sexual relations with multiple males within or without marriage.

If a marriage is non-monogamous, it may be called an “open relationship.”

If one or both partners engage in romantic or sexual activities outside of the relationship, the arrangement’s agreement aspect is crucial.

Understanding the concept of Non-monogamous relationships

As open relationships become increasingly common, some people wonder if they should be in an open relationship or not.

The term open relationship, also known as Ethical Non-Monogamous relationship, means having more than one romantic or sexual partner at a time.

It’s an arrangement that both parties agree to a non-exclusive partnership. Hence, the ethical part rules out any accusation of cheating.

Although, there are some poly people like triads who practice closed open relationships, which depicts the real concept of “non-monogamy.”

When there are restrictions on who you date or how many people you can date in an open relationship, such an arrangement becomes monogamish, and this can be a problem for those who are poly by nature.

Non-monogamous relationships can be categorized into different types, namely polyamory, open relationships, and swinging.

Polyamorous people may have a primary partner with whom they live or have children, as well as secondary partners with whom they emotionally connect, date, and have sexual relationships.

Open relationships and swings are more similar. They involve having a primary partner with whom they are emotionally connected to but may explore sex with people other than their primary partner.

Non-monogamous relationships are not for everybody. There are lots of challenges that will arise, especially during the early stages of the relationship.

One woman revealed she enjoyed polyamory but was heartbroken after her husband confessed he was bisexual and told her he had been having sex with men.

There were also people who really struggled with their partner’s desire to sleep with other people, including a boyfriend who couldn’t bring himself to find someone new when his partner was in love with two other women.

Some people who are monogamous in nature might decide to be in an open relationship to enjoy the benefits of having physical intimacy with different partners.

These people will get jealous, possessive, and resentful when their partner shows more interest in others.

However, non-monogamous relationships are not so bad. Most people in open relationships reported having too much sex and a stronger intimate bond with their partners.

Signs you are not ready for a non-monogamous relationship

Those who are polyamory in nature have no issue accepting their partners’ extraordinary sex lives.

In fact, they will personally introduce new lovers to their partners. They do not get entangled in emotional conflicts.

Conflicts often arise when one party isn’t full-on board, keeps secrets, or feels side-lined. This can result in feelings of jealousy and resentment.

Because the society normalizes monogamous relationships, it’s difficult for poly people to own up to their sexuality.

But if you feel cheated on when your partner flirts with other people, then the chance are you are not suited for a polygamous relationship. And here are more signs to prove that.

You thinking having multiple sex partners is shitty

People who are naturally monogamous tend to be loyal to the people they love. They see those in poly relationships as dishonest people who just want to have sex with multiple partners without feeling guilty or judged for their actions. If you always date people one at a time, then you will be miserable in a non-monogamous relationship.

You get angry when your partner cheats on you in your monogamous relationship

Some people feel entitled to their partner’s loyalty and love when they are in an intimate relationship. It’s natural for the feeling of attachment to build up when two people are having sex. But if you cannot control the feeling of attaching when you are in love, or you believe love must be shared between two people only, open relationships are not for you.

You have anxiety when your partners flirt with other people

As humans, we are naturally programmed to be in a tribe. We’re social animals because we need other people to survive. We are born to be connected with other people, and polygamous people understand this more than monogamous people. That’s why the poly motto is “love is limitless.” They will flirt and love more than one person to strengthen unity and peace in the relationship. If you feel jealous when your partner flirts or you don’t believe in sharing the one you love with other people, you must stay away from any form of non-monogamous relationships.

You are dating multiple people as a bandaid

Most monogamous people try to mask their pain by being in an open relationship. They date multiple people so that they can avoid betrayal and heartbreak. This is often a result of past traumatic dating experiences. They go into an open relationship without being fully aware of what it entails. You can’t fix yourself by choosing to be polyamorous. Your decision is risky and will most often backfire because when you end up falling in love with a poly person, you will be heartbroken again.

Final thoughts

If you’re a monogamous person trying to explore your sexuality by being in an open relationship, always keep in mind that this should be a temporary arrangement.

Going into a long-term relationship with this idea can hurt you more than you think.

Your body knows how your heart feels. Whenever you are in a relationship, you have to hide your feeling of jealousy and insecurities, pull back and think carefully about why you feel that way.

It is important that the two people in the partnership agree to an open relationship so that it benefits both parties.

Communication is often key to managing conflict and resentment in any relationship, including non-monogamous ones.

Boundaries must be clearly discussed and established. Then each person can indicate what they do not feel comfortable with.

This article was first published here.