Women over 40 Want Mature Men

What does age mean in the dating world?

We are used to thinking that dating opportunities decrease with age, so that as women get older they become less attractive to men, and the same thing happens with men: they become less attractive to women. The latter is perhaps less true than the former, because we often see that older men are able to establish relationships with younger women, while the opposite, older women in relationships with younger men, are much rarer.

Everyone, both women and men, may sometimes think with horror of the inevitable - that they are getting older all the time and that they will eventually be affected by aging both physically and mentally.

It is not so strange that many people think this way, but it is just as much the result of a negative way of thinking. We do not have to think negatively here. In fact, it is wise and wholesome for mental health to try to think positively, especially in such an important area of ​​life as this!

We can investigate the phenomenon of aging and we can look for positive aspects of growing up, getting older and getting old. All things have several sides, and sometimes we can find surprisingly positive sides to what we thought were just negative.

"High-quality" and "low-quality" women and men

According to Mark Gimein, elementary game theory has the answer. There are two types of women, "high" and "low quality" women. He defines high quality women as attractive and / or socially skilled. Men regularly come up with suggestions that women can accept or reject. Higher quality women have more bargaining power, but may eventually end up without a connection.

In an article, The Eligible-Bachelor Paradox, "How economics and game theory explain the shortage of available, appealing men" Mark Gimein explains using economics and game theories the lack of available, attractive men in the dating market and why the number of available interesting men decreases for women after the age of 35.

According to Gimein, "high-quality women" are attractive and socially skilled, while "low-quality women" have less of these traits. High-quality women have most of the capital they need to get men in the dating market, so they prefer to focus on getting the right one, and they spend time on this.

As the age increases, the competition to get high-quality men becomes very fierce because there are fewer high-quality men available. High-quality women compete with low-quality women to get hold of the few high-quality men that exist. High-quality women do not lower their standards or requirements because they are used to getting what they want. Maybe they maintain how they see themselves as high-quality women, and many women in this situation choose to live alone because it is a better alternative than to go and mess with men who do not have the high quality that they want.

The disadvantage of this is that the market has a large number of unattractive men and a number of well-qualified single women.

According to Mark Gimein, if you are in the lower half of men when it comes to attractiveness then you will only get a very small part (4%) of likes from women, while women in the lower half will get 7.9% likes from men.

One thing we have known all along is that it is the women who have the first choice, and women have a tendency to postpone that choice because they want to wait for "the right one".

Women want well-kept men

In addition, we have the point that statically speaking, women want well-kept men, men who have good finances, while men have a completely different focus: they are looking for beautiful women.

Men also lose out in education. The number of women taking higher education has long gone far beyond the proportion of men taking higher education, above the bachelor's level.

This difference is reflected in the economic conditions and is observed, among other things, in the fact that those who take a master's have a higher income than those who only have a bachelor's degree or lower.

Both well-educated and uneducated women settle in urban areas and hope that they will find the "right man". But unfortunately, the attractive bachelors who live in the cities are not particularly interested in women who are intelligent, well-educated or successful. They care if the woman is attractive as a dating object.

In this way, attractive women compete with more women, but have fewer single men to choose from, and they even have fewer choices if they live in an urban area than those who live in the countryside.

This means that women who want independence have a difficult choice. If she chooses higher education and postpones marriage, she can get what her grandmother probably had to get from a partner  -  financial security. But she then risks never finding a partner. If she does not choose education, she may have to be dependent on someone, and in the worst case, this person may be a controlling or abusive husband.

Why women over 40 prefer men over 60

Women over 40 prefer men over 60 because men over 60 have often calmed down more; they search less and have less of the savagery in them. Men over 60 have finished hunting for ever new, intense experiences that will give the big "kick".

Women over 40 know that men over 60 who have stood through gusts of wind and storms and done the job through the first 30–40 years of life are men who have developed the ability for reflection and insight. They are often experienced, calm, solid men, men with character and they have self-irony. These are men who know themselves, and who can relax and laugh with the woman they are with. This is something that women over 40 are looking for.

Ready shaped and "well used"

Women over 40 like to look at men over 60 who have been in one or more relationships, and who are "well used". Men who have been married for many decades and who have made their contribution in society, work, family, and cohabitation are often seen as men who can be trusted.

Women over 40 know that men over 60 are mostly stable, reliable, faithful and "done". They know that in the life of a man over 60, the woman or women who have been with this man have done much of the important work of shaping the man. Throughout the 30s, 40s and 50s, the man has done his duty and often worked faithfully and diligently to create a good platform for a home, a cohabitation and a deep relationship with the woman who has chosen him.

Women over 40 like to look at men over 60 who have been in one or more relationships and have been married for many decades because they know that there is a good chance that such men have what they are looking for in a man.

Men over 60 appear attractive to women over 40 because these are often men who have gone through the important phases of adulthood, education, work and career, cohabitation, marriage and they have had the role of a father figure in the family. He has children who have grown up, often also grandchildren, and he has lived in a family life that for several decades, an experience which has had a disciplining and stabilizing effect on a formerly perhaps eager, intensely active committed man.

When a man has passed 60, he has in most cases given up habits and bad impulses that may have previously marked his life. He may, of course, have indulged in other unfortunate habits that women over 40 will hardly have a hard time discovering. Perhaps it is important for the women in question that he has established a safe and strong economy, and he is not looking to experiment in new relationships with random women.

He knows himself

The man over 60 is no longer the outspoken, self-absorbed man he was in his 35s, 40s or 50s. He is about to land, to calm down and to find peace and balance in himself. The man over 60 knows much more about himself than the 40-year-old about who he is and what he wants.

The man over 60 knows that he will die, but he also knows that he will not die right away. He has long thought through important questions about life and is fully aware of death as a reality. He has therefore thought through his own life and what he wants. He has understood that he can do something active himself to take care of his own body and psyche, and that good physical and mental health is essential for living a good life after 60. Men over 60 know that it is possible to live an active and rich life over 60, and they know that new love can be found if the old one disappears.

Quality in the relationship

Quality time with a man is for a woman over 40 to get attention, to be seen and listened to, to be talked to and to be taken seriously.

Women over 40 want to be seen, they want men to show attention and spend their time on her. Quality romance for a woman in her 40s is attention and time. She will dive deep into the experience of the other, she will feel strong and enjoy the connection.

Women over 40 want to be lifted up and forward, they want to be seduced emotionally, spiritually and sexually through the fulfillment of their innermost needs. They want to experience being taken into account, they want to be met with respect and support, and they want to feel special.

Women in their 40s have often been through several relationships and / or marriages. They have learned enough from these relationships to know what they want from a man, and they are ready to do it right. They will no longer accept that they have to pretend to be a person they are not, and they are no longer patient enough to deal with a man who pretends to be someone he is not.

Women over 40 want a real man who delivers in all the important areas of life, a man who practices kindness and lives from the heart, a man who can surprise her with beautiful flowers and a gift or a surprise once in a while.

What she's looking for is someone who will value her heart enough to never let her down; an emotionally good and self-realized man who can express his feelings and take responsibility for his actions, one who knows himself and the world, and who knows the value of time, love and vulnerability.

How successful are relationships between women over 40 and men over 60?

In general, the success of such new relationships rests on the character traits of the two, and on their ability to communicate and to see the other person in the relationship. All the factors mentioned above can contribute to a successful relationship for a woman over 40 with a man over 60.

What women over 40 and men over 60 have in common is that they have lost some illusions and untenable notions about cohabitation, marriage and life in general. They have begun to know themselves much better because of the resistance they have experienced in life.

This is perhaps the most important common feature for women over 40 and men over 60, and we see here the well-known fact that women seem to mature earlier than men. This common feature, that they are both mature and life-experienced people, can contribute greatly to the relationship being experienced as good by both.

Both women and men learn through life, both from positive experiences and through the experiences when life goes uphill. Through this resistance, all women and men learn important things about marriage, relationships and sexual life - and about life in short. This is perhaps one of the most important things women over 40 and men over 60 have in common, namely that they have stood through the challenges, have managed to stand up and move on and are able to meet new challenges, challenges that sometimes can be very large.

A mixture of similarities and differences

Women over 40 and men over 60 also have in common that if they have recovered well through the previous 10–20 years, they have their integrity, their ability to think freely and they are emotionally stable. They are able to listen to and see the other. And since they are emotionally stable, they are therefore attractive to others who have the same characteristics.

Women over 40 and men over 60 also have in common that they seek out each other and because in the other they find what they are looking for: maturity, stability, kindness, care, empathy. They experience the new relationship as balanced and safe because it is based on equality and equal experiences.

Of course, this does not mean that they must be equal in character and think alike about most things. As in all relationships, it is probably healthy with combinations of differences and similarities when it comes to background, attitudes, values ​​and dreams for the new couple.