Will You Let Me

Besides the external factors in your life you are more than just what you allow others to see. I shouldn't push off or away your worries and there won't always be a reason why something makes sense or is justified. There is no such thing as a perfect person, show me your insecurities, your fears, your talents, and tell me the secrets of understanding your love language; give me the recipe to love you. Could you ask yourself if giving me all of those things and me having the chance to love you properly is worse than me walking away because I don't know how to. I watch you swiftly move like the wind through the branches in the trees getting lost, causing leaves to fall as you pass by letting your presence be known. That's okay, it doesn't have to be a smooth journey, you're going to be too rough sometimes, it'll be a tight squeeze, but just remind yourself of why you're doing all of this and breathe. I didn't have the words to say to you before but I thought I was being as helpful as possible but felt it just wasn't enough, because of how much you still had left to say after I had found a solution to your problems as its arisen within your mind and formed with your words.

I can't expect to be your peace overnight, but, I can't be your light in the dark without sight. Give me your eyes, lend me your mind and open up to me and become as transparent with me and I am for you. Fore I wish to rustle into your spirit swiftly and blend with you effortlessly, I wish to take your breathe away with a kiss and ignite an everlasting flame. I can see the look in your eyes when your loving me and it excites me to my own surprise. Although, I fear that because I love you, that this will end bitter sweetly, because I can't force you to choose me or even love me. I can't keep a man that doesn't wish to be kept just like a stray cat, you'll run at the first sight of an open door, but keep coming back because I allow you to. I do not wish to enable you to flee and our downfall be due to my in-patience, but this is why how me loving you may be my downfall, because, I keep choosing you even over myself and I allow my showing patience to keep you from choosing me when it comes down to it. So knowing this I can't ask you to love me back, I'm just asking you to feel that for me, to love me slowly because your enjoying the joining of you and me, show me you love me with your actions instead of your words, as I continue to do, by choosing you every time. I wake up to you somedays and it's like a dream.

I ask for you to change but to remain the same. You could do this by changing your restrictions on love and dating but remaining purely you. In time you will change and grow but by that time I wish to grow with you. Could you please open up to me, like how the clouds open up to let the rain pour down, you've got a heavy load on your shoulders and I feel your pain. If your life's easier without me here, than I'll just go because I'll still love you the same. Fight with me like a firework and leave with a BANG, Ignite me like the starting flame. So with my packaging bursted open on the ground, if by this time you still care to some extent for me, I ask that you pick me up and discard me in the trash to never be seen in the same form ever again. The hope is that I'll be remade into something beautiful, so that if I can't continue to love you, that you'd allow someone else to love me.

I talk in riddles my dear, but they are clear to me, could you understand what I'm saying to you if I said it so plainly. You'd still interpret it into your own meaning so why not just allow me to be me in my purest form. Let me be enough in the sense of how I speak, and learn how to communicate better with me if you become confused. This is a story for another day, but my final fear is that by holding onto you I will lose hold of myself. I hope you can see that I am trying my best to maintain a grip on myself as well as hold on to you without either of us having to change too much, if anything. I live by the code of loving unconditionally, and even though I have been loving you in such a manner, you have conditioned me in every way from my personality down to my form. I am fighting you because I fear that you do not know real love, and I wish you let me show you, because even through all of my paining love ventures I am still here fighting for you with one hand. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to you my dear, could you make it a little easier for me by learning my love language as well, I promise you I will try my best not to change, what you see is what your get with me, I only believe in improving with time, so allow me to improve with you. I will break off these shackles that i placed on myself not to love you, and love you harder. Is it too soon to say I love you?

As the sky is blue I think of you that much, through day and night, You are my muse when I can’t get out of a funk. You are my starry night, my weekend trip, my winter vacation, not too many of you will happen in my life, I just wish you seen me in the same light. It pains me to know that this feeling is so strong, being with you eases my soul and allows for an easier journey in life, when we’re good we’re great, and that feeling can’t be replaced. Will you allow me to love you in all the ways that I want to?