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This Place

Carries Weight in It's River Banks

By UNpretentiousPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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This Place
Photo by Andrew Reshetov on Unsplash

And in that moment her heart started to beat out of her chest as all of their memories came flooding in. The tears the pain the frustration the love, she was overwhelmed with angst and cheer, to feel close to him again but only while being here. It wasn't the body of the person but yet the memories created with the person that created a feeling of a void. To know those memories would never happen again, and could never be replaced, that thought is what kept creeping in. She couldn't escape her feelings of guilt for being there without her, but most of all to be there with someone else. But she needed this like she needs food, she needed to sever her ties with her once known to be love, she needed to be free to do as she pleases without feeling guilt for doing so.

Even though she didn't come alone, she felt like she was alone. She wished her friend had known, could recognize the tears that didn't fall, the feeling of guilt for bringing her there, it was all too much and it wouldn't let up because her friend seemed to have no idea that she was caving on the inside. This place felt sacred, like no one else could go there, or no one else could be there with her as if she was breaking some kind of pact or something. She prided herself in keeping her word, and back then she called this place, their place, meant only for her and her one true love, but just like this place, that love story was hit with a tornado.

I guess in a way seeing the place messy and in shambles was in her benefit, it was a way of saying it couldn't be put back together the same, and even if you tried to clean it up it still wouldn't be as it was before. Maybe its just her thinking of the place and knowing it wasn't worth cleaning up, or maybe it was just a metaphor for where she knows they now stand. Her relationship was severed and this place, their place, was the visual representation of what was left after the storm.

It wasn't the just the memories alone that made her feel guilty. It was the feeling of longing for more than she already had. The feeling of holding on to something she should have let go, it was the feeling of starting a new by burying the old. It was as if she was rewriting history by creating new memories that didn't hurt as much. It felt like a tradition but with a new addition to the family. The place she remember was definitely not the same place she remembered, and now it never will be. She wanted to start over and try a new, so she buried what she was used to and walked away.

When leaving her heart was put at ease with every step towards the exit, she could breathe. Although, it felt like someone was following her, but even that paranoid feeling started to fade away, and in place came the feeling of tiredness. She was okay. The moment she stepped back onto familiar land, she knew she was alright, her heart stopped pounding and she stopped thinking of her past, because with every step she was erasing them. She finally got home and realized, she was okay and quietly fell asleep, until the sun came awakening her with a kiss on the cheek. He phone rings and she's startled to find, her ex was still on her mind, and clearly she was on hers because, there was a text that suggested exactly that.

breakups
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About the Creator

UNpretentious

I choose empathy over sympathy, because I am a problem solver. I’m a dreamer, that wants to be able to help others Grow, Evolve and Dream big safely. BOSS Mentality. Poetic Flow. Unconditional Lover. Artisan & Server Spirit. INFP, thats me!

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