Why You Shouldn't Get Too Close

For many years I was suffering from an addiction of the heart, body and, mind. No, it wasn't drugs or alcohol, it was much more prominent than anything like that. I was an entrenched, highly intoxicated My Chemical Romance fangirl. Even during my teenage years, I had never developed such an infatuation with a celebrity or band. So here I was, an adult married woman with two children having a stealthy, clandestine love affair with Gerard Way. In fact, it was so surreptitious Mr. Way himself didn't even have knowledge about it.

I was complimentarily the first in line when a new album launched. Secret and sheltered photos embellished my computer and cell phone. This beautiful man would sing me to sleep and wake me up every morning with personalized alarm tones. Every time that my phone would ring, the words to Helena would fill my surroundings with melancholic waves of pure satisfaction.

I had all of the fanfare and literally challenged my teenage sons (who were also fans) to go anywhere near my most prized possessions.

I spent hundreds maybe even thousands of dollars supporting my habit. The only thing that I hadn't accomplished was seeing him in person. This was a disgraceful dream for a woman of my age to be having. Still, I intended to one day see it come true.

How would I react? Would I act like a teenage girl and just lose my mind? Would I throw my arms around him and refuse to let go until the authorities had to haul me off? I could vision so many different scenarios spinning through my mind.

A few years ago I saw the opportunity to test my self-control. It would only take 714 miles - 10 hours 52 minutes to reach my fantasy. I had to do it! There was no stopping me! My amazing husband and sons decided that we'd take a road trip so that I could finally meet this tall, dark, and handsome stranger that had swept me off of my feet so so many years.

Now, I have always heard it said that you should never really meet your celebrity crush up close in personal. The logic is that once you see their flaws and realize that they're real, imperfect human beings - it just kinda ruins everything. Well, I was much too mature for that. After all how imperfect could he possibly be? Let's take another look at this gorgeous creation.

Nope, he's absolutely perfect. There was absolutely no possible way that meeting him up close and personal could disappoint.

After a miserably long road trip - thousands of dollars spent and standing outside in scorching heat for over an hour. The door was in sight and he was so close that my heart was magnetized, pulling me closer and closer to being right there...close enough to touch. My knees were weak, I felt faint.. I was beginning to wonder if I could even function normally in front of him. It was happening - I was acting like a teenager. I just knew that I was going to start screaming and crying and possibly start pulling my own hair out. Visions of girls from Elvis concerts warped through my mind.

"Pleeeease don't do this...Pleeeease don't do this!" I was pleading with myself. My hands were sweaty, I felt beads of anxiety trickle down my spine. "For goodness' sake woman, you're two teenage sons are here beside of you! - Pull it together!"

Finally, the door was right in front of me. I took a deep breath and I braced myself. Oh no, I felt a squeal rising up in the throat, "no, no, no" I tried to swallow it back down. My entire body was trembling as I turned the corner...and.....What?

Suddenly all of the butterflies died and the stars stopped twinkling. My happy little world had stopped so fast that I almost collapsed. What kind of theatrical, hocus pocus, photo shop magic is this?!

"Someone call Nev Schulman and Max Joseph because I have been catfished for years."

I tried desperately to hide my disappointment. He really was just a normal-looking guy, chubby, unshaven, and wearing average Walmart clothing. There was nothing magical happening. There was no passion and lust sparking in the air. I suddenly felt like Ralphie (A Christmas Story) when his decoder pin betrayed him.

All jokes aside, he was very, sweet and nice. However, it was heartbreaking to find out that the person whom I held so highly and immortalized was really just an average guy. I felt betrayed by the (not so accurate) representation and portraiture that I had so dearly loved. That night, I couldn't help but silently cry as I ended my longstanding affair with the tall, dark, and handsome man that I really didn't even know.

The old saying is true - You really shouldn't get too close and personal with your celebrity crushes. Believe it or not, they're just average, normal people. And unless you're willing to see the flaws and imperfections that will certainly ruin that godlike image in your mind...just remember that sometimes it's better to love someone from a distance.

😢😭😢 I don't love you like I did you yesterday. 😢😭😢