Why Thinking Marriage Means Disaster for First Dates

Meet a woman. Go on a date. Get married and have kids. If you are going into dating with this kind of mental checklist in mind, then you’re most likely going down the wrong path.

One of the biggest reasons why most men fail at the dating game is because they think too much. The process gets over their head, that they tend to create a step by step mental list detailing what they should do next as a strategy to achieve their goal.

Having long term goals is important. You just need to know when to keep it in the box. As it might just create this unnecessary deadline in your mind which ultimately causes you to rush into the relationship.

What happens when you rush into relationships?

People coming into dates expecting love at first may find themselves disappointed.

The thought of finding someone and immediately being in a relationship with them sounds magical – to say the least. It’s fast-paced, and exciting. But despite how interesting this sounds, there are still implications you might want to consider.

You will come off as desperate.

We understand you just want someone to love, but the more you rush through things the more you'll seem desperate about it. And desperation is never sexy. In fact, when it comes to relationships, it can be terrifying to meet someone that’s plainly desperate for one.

No woman wants to be rushed. They don’t want to feel as though they’re pressured to be with someone. So, instead of pulling women in, you might just end up sending them away if you choose to rush through the relationship.

You might just be forcing yourself to love someone you don’t

Rushing into a relationship not only clouds your emotions with desperation, but it also makes you settle for someone that could be less deserving of you. If you’re constantly in a rush to find someone to be with, you might easily ignore your standards and the qualities you would normally look for in a woman.

For example: If you find someone attractive and immediately swoop them in, the first few moments with them would feel perfect. But ultimately, you won’t even know if you’re truly in love with them or if you’re just blinded by the happiness of having someone with you.

You’ll end up not knowing what love really is

If you fast forward a movie until the end, would you be able to understand the whole storyline? Such can also happen with love.

If you rush into relationships after another, or skip steps in order to achieve your goal faster, you might just never learn what it actually feels to love or fall in love. You won’t get to enjoy the process, nor learn anything because your only focus is the outcome.

Not only that, rushing through relationships will also stop you from growing emotionally. You wouldn’t experience any sacrifices or compromising, no chances to learn from your mistakes, regrets, the what ifs.

Ultimately, you might just end up marrying someone as an empty shell.

Why you should take it slow

Just why do relationships need time and patience for it to turn into genuine love? What if, because we’ve taken it so slowly, we just end up getting bored of each other and fall out of love? What if she ends up leaving you instead?

While these are logical issues to worry about, there are also advantages to taking relationships slowly.

You get to assess your compatibility

Nothing is certain in the beginning part of the relationship.

You stay on your best behavior in order to impress or please each other. And you might have just liked each other solely because of this, without considering your vulnerabilities or any negative behavior and habits you both might have.

Compare it if you spend more time together while doing mundane things, you’d end up opening up more and showing your true selves to each other. Only then will you get to properly assess if you’re truly compatible.

You won’t feel pressured

Without feeling as if there’s a deadline in everything you do, you get to enjoy the process of learning about each other more. Relationships shouldn’t be a source of stress. In fact, it should be the other way around.

By taking your time in building one, you will experience just being in the moment with your partner, and not end up worrying about when you’ll get married or start creating a family. Or even whether the relationship will last for a longer time.

The relationship becomes something you enjoy having in your life, and not some project you feel the need to finish.

Create more memories

You get to create more memories — which means you will have more stories you can tell your kids in the future.

While creating these memories, you also get to know each other a lot better. You get to make a solid connection based on your shared experiences and not just the physical or sexual attraction.

By exposing yourself to more memories and experiences together, you get to know how each other reacts to different situations. Such as how they react under stress, what they likely do in an argument, and with these the relationship becomes more secure.

Create a more stable relationship

Taking it slow and allowing love to build naturally makes it more genuine.

Take houses for example, if you rush making one, you may receive a faster gratification but you will definitely regret it sooner once your foundation starts crumbling down. Compare it with a house that’s carefully and properly planned, the satisfaction might require a long wait but it will definitely last longer.

Such also applies to love.

If you take it slowly, and carefully build the relationship, it will definitely come out stronger and stronger because you have your genuine connection as the foundation.

Love at your own pace

Love isn’t a race.

Taking things slow might have possible consequences, but you simply need to take a leap of fate and believe that your relationship will develop at its own pace. The more you rush it, the more you’re going to feel as if it’s an obligation, something that needs to be done and your relationship simply shouldn’t be like that.

Take time to enjoy each other’s company, and the relationship. Only then will you truly appreciate what it’s like to be in love.