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Why is Selflove Important?

You've undoubtedly heard the proverb that states that loving oneself comes before loving someone else

By Emma Published 6 months ago 7 min read
The Importance of Selflove

Although I typically concur with this assertion, I believe it would be more accurate to say that we can only love another person to the extent that we also love ourselves.

It seems to me that love is experienced and expressed to varying degrees, and that's why sometimes we might be expressing some degree of sincere love while also expressing something else, something like attack or want it something which gets in the way of love. I don't want to promote the idea that you either love fully and completely or not at all. being expressed in its entirety.

The extent to which that love is unobstructed will determine how much we can love ourselves and others. The beliefs that obscure that love are frequently beliefs about love, such as the belief that the love we have is insufficient or limited or that we have no love at all, and it's that kind of belief that prompts us to look for it elsewhere. We all have love within us, but it's frequently obscured by false and limiting beliefs. As a result, the extent to which we can love both ourselves and others will

We constantly look for it from other people, and everytime we do, we aren't acting out of love but rather out of a sense of desperation. As a result, we aren't acting out of love in those situations or feeling loved.

The notion that we are undeserving of love is another prevalent concept that stands in the way of love. Even when others offer us true affection, if we still believe this, we will find it difficult to accept it since it goes against how we feel about ourselves.

We either minimize it or simply reject it as a result. This explains why some of us have a propensity to continuously enter into harmful habits of dating and relationships and why we always wind up with individuals who aren't really our soul mates.

There is something to be said about how our body language subtly conveys our feelings and opinions.

Others can tell when we're really insecure about our appearance and behavior, and it's possible that some people will find that attractive. Others may not find it appealing, which is another way of stating that possibly certain manipulative, exploitative, abusive, and other types of people are looking for people who are insecure. However, it's also likely that these people aren't as choosy as we might think.

The question isn't why do they keep showing up but rather why do you keep letting them stay is it that they may exhibit interest in many different individuals but may be rejected by many of those people, especially those who are more confident in themselves.

Even if that were the case, it wouldn't explain why every partner you have is toxic; there would undoubtedly be some who aren't. However, what happens when you meet someone who genuinely cares for you and treats you with genuine love and respect? You might feel like you don't deserve it. This is because you are so desperate to not be alone that you will take whatever opportunity arises.

Whether you're aware of it or not, there's something about it that just doesn't feel right since it doesn't reflect how you feel about yourself. You might reject them or break up with them.

If you don't respect yourself, you won't think you deserve respect from others, so you pick a partner who does.

However, the more respect and love you have for yourself, the less tolerance you'll have for disrespect from others. You won't be able to treat others with respect if you're not prepared to put up with their disrespect.

There are actually two sides to this coin: the more we love ourselves, the more we love others, and the more open we are to accepting love from others. This is because how we feel about ourselves affects how we treat others and how we allow others to treat us.

People who claim that in order to love others, we first need to love ourselves do so with the understanding that our treatment of others frequently mirrors our own state.

The more we accept and love ourselves, the more we are kind to others, the more we understand and accept others, and the more easily we will act in the same way towards others, the harder it will be for us to accept others for who they are. This is because how we feel about ourselves is projected onto others.

We assess others when we judge ourselves. We hate others when we loathe ourselves. To truly love ourselves, we must accept ourselves exactly as we are. One of the reasons we may find this to be so difficult is because we may have actual or imagined qualities of ourselves that make this difficult.

We find unpleasant or undesirable, but the thing about love is that it's truly unconditional, which means there aren't any requirements that must be satisfied in order for there to be love. Some people seem to think all love is unconditional, but as soon as conditions are necessary, love ceases to be love and transforms into something else instead of begging or bargaining, so loving oneself isn't about having to be flawless and flawless

As a result, whenever the concept of loving oneself is brought up, we immediately come up with all the reasons why we don't deserve it. As I stated before, we all have love within us, but it is buried or covered up by these types of ideas, so it may be that the way to access that love is by eradicating those beliefs. Those are the erroneous and restricting beliefs that I was referring to. One at a time, and one way to do that is to examine each one, question its veracity, and perhaps also learn how we came to have these beliefs in the first place.

For instance, and this is a fairly common scenario, we might have developed the belief that we are unworthy of love as a result of someone not showing us enough love when we were young. As children, we may have even been treated horribly by them, leading us to believe that we must not be worthy of love.

However, it's possible that they are simply incapable of loving you. Because they don't love themselves, their treatment of you may have been more a reflection of them and their own unhealed scars than anything else.

Another possibility is that whether or not you deserve love had absolutely nothing to do with what happened.

Loving ourselves can be a journey since we need to reflect on these kinds of things. In reality, the practice is more about clearing the way for love to arise and flow easily than it is about growing love. Deconstructing the erroneous ideas, changing the way we speak to ourselves, revising the tales we tell ourselves, and treating our emotional scars are all necessary to achieve this.

We begin to access more of who we are as we begin to remove these barriers. the Choice As more of that love is made available to us, even a small amount of the self-hatred and insecurity will finally disappear.

In order to calm down, take a step back, and see if I can be a bit more understanding, kind, and forgiving, I find it helpful to be aware of the times I'm not being loving to myself, especially when I'm judging and criticizing.

I constantly remind myself that no one is perfect, that mistakes happen to everyone, and that it's at these times that we most need love because we are often our own harshest judges.

So how can I reconnect with it by being good to myself and loving myself? How can I come back in touch with my Essential nature given that how we treat others reflects how we feel about ourselves? If we notice that we're not being particularly nice to others, that's a sign that we're out of connection with love.

We should love ourselves a little bit more since our actions toward other people do not stem from a place of love. The way you treat other people will automatically reflect how you treat yourself. As a result, you will treat them considerably better. This implies that the emphasis should be on being love and allowing that energy to flow through you rather than on trying to acquire love.

We develop our ability to recognize the love that is already there within us. We simply need to keep coming back to it and getting rid of the barriers because when we let ourselves be enveloped by that love, it very naturally transforms us and starts to have an impact on how we live and interact with the world.

Eventually, perhaps, we will have succeeded in doing so, and that love will be able to flow freely, filling every nook and cranny of our beings and gushing out into the rest of the world, but in the interim, just keep going back to that well within yourself.


About the Creator


BBA in Marketing, Full time Freelancer

Hobby traveling, reading, observing, learn new thing,

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