Why I Love You, OBFF!

Dear Dina,

When I feel like I’ve already won the lottery with the best BFF in the world, what’s $1,000 … other than some best friend celebrating money?

Dina Davis, you are my BFF, or as we like to call each other, my OBFF. We are opposite best friends forever. I don’t know if this is typical, because generally, I imagine that best friends are supposed to share so much in common. The “opposites attract” concept is only for romantic relationships, right? If that is the case, it’s hard for me to understand how we feel like such a perfect fit in each other’s lives when we pretty much view everything differently. But I’ll get back to that.

You were my trainer for what I consider to be my least favorite job in all my (44-17) years of working. The training happened at one of the most difficult periods in my life, when I was working two jobs and 30 hours more than I wanted to or should have been working. I was exhausted, frustrated, miserable, and on the verge of what would soon be an actual mental breakdown. I absolutely believe that had it not been for your presence in the training room, I would have quit training class. Your presence was refreshing and comforting, and the sincerity of your love for training and each individual was almost tangible. The excellence with which you presented the training material was an absolute point of admiration. The mixture of professionalism and personability was unmatched from anything I had experienced before … or since. If asked to describe you in one word, I would break my own rule of following quantity specifications and provide “caring, sincere, approachable”.

I don’t remember at which point I nicknamed you Dazzling Dina, but I do know that giving a nickname usually indicates that I’ve developed a great fondness for someone. The word ‘dazzling’ not only served my love of alliteration, but it also accurately summarized the stylishness, external physical beauty, intelligence and heart of the wonderful woman (there I go alliterating again) that you are.

After experiencing your professionalism and personability, I was eventually to learn about your silly side, your serious side, your strict side and your sweet side -- all of which to me are in such a perfect mix that it is easy for me to fully appreciate each of them. Balance is definitely one of your strengths.

I met you as make-up, dressed-up, wig-on Dina first. So when I met no make-up, dressed-down, long-locks Dina, it took a little bit of a mental adjustment. With both appearances, I have witnessed you literally stop traffic … mostly in parking-lots, so no danger there. Your reaction is always so unassuming. Whether made-up perfectly -- which you have absolutely shown yourself to be capable of -- or not, I feel you present yourself to each situation with an equal amount of thought and awareness.

While definitely not a sworn-to-be plain Jane (which I am), you are conscious of looks and their place in the real world and your world of goals. You, however, prioritize the development of mind and growing as an individual. This is perhaps one of our connecting points, but on much different levels. Although younger than me, I believe that your life experiences, personal philosophies, and chosen perspectives have guided you to be more convicted and consistent in all of your efforts.

OBFF, you are a big thinking, problem solving, fast acting, no-nonsense, create something, make-it-happen type of person. Reverse most of these and you have me, yet there is not one day that I have felt lesser than you by comparison. In fact, you don’t encourage comparisons of any sorts. If by my own overthinking and unnecessary evaluating I should feel down or some type of way, you always have or find the perfect thing to say. Sometimes that is simply (and firmly), “No, we not gonna do that!”.

You make it a point to interrupt negative cycles and thinking. You are always ready to motivate and encourage – everyone. And when I’m not being playfully jealous about your unbiased outpouring of love, it is truly one of the things I admire about you and am glad to be in the line of receipt for – at the front of the line, as the best friend – proudly!

Even before progressing to best friends, I felt comfortable enough on my darkest day to talk to you. While I might not have taken the initiative to share my thoughts, you were making your usual rounds of checking on everybody’s day in the workplace. Prompted by the check-in, I was able to share without hesitation that I was in a very bad place mentally. You responded with a sense of urgency and I trusted that the care you demonstrated was genuine.

Since becoming best friends, I have discovered layers of that genuineness. I can also say that I have discovered we are genuinely opposites in most things.

Just to list a few things we do/see differently:

You Me

Drive medium speeds Drive slowly

Travel, travel, travel Homebody

Greeaat! cook Hates to cook!

Eats at home usually Eats out frequently

Likes to type Likes manuscript

Throws away stuff Hoards stuff

Hates boxes Loves boxes

Long hair Short hair

Always trying to be busy Always trying to rest

Global thinker Local thinker

Mornings are great Nights are awesome

Coffee Tea

Hot drinks Cold drinks

Pets No pets

Babies Grown children

Lead(er) Follow(er)

Big picture Small details

No, no, no Yes – Nutella, avocados, bread/carbs

Yes – salads Only if necessary

Yes – drinking water I guess if I must

Lactose intolerant Favorite drink in the world is milk!

Big cars Small cars

Large house, multiple floors Small house, one level

Partially filled washer Fully packed washer

Long distance driving As little driving as possible

Fewest stops possible Every rest area I see

Invest big/big reward Avoid all risks, whenever possible

Easily make the hand heart I struggle with it

And finally, edges laid NO edges! Lol

Let’s not even get started on different tastes in movies and music.

But despite our many differences, -- big, small, serious or silly – we have an absolute mutual respect for each other, an understanding that is continuously growing, and we have both vowed that ending our bestfrienship will take no less than a divorce, if even that. You make my dark days brighter and my heavy loads lighter. While cheering on each other’s evolution, I will say that I truly feel accepted as I am, not as I imagine I should be. For all of the reasons mentioned, Dina, you are my OBFF4life and the best friend ever!