Why I am on Vocal? Lets talk!

Okay.. so finally I am here and writing my first story.

I don't have any story idea to be honest. I am a digital marketer by profession, and for one of my own business clients, found this website.

I liked the content here and thought I can try to post my thoughts here and may be someday if I have any story will share that too.

So, why VOCAL?

I don't know :)

Father, no comparison.....

From the past few days, I am quite disturbed. I watched an Indian mythological TV serial "Shri Krishna", there is a story they are broadcasting these days about "Geeta Updesh". Its all about knowing yourself and believing that nothing is permanent.

I am affected a lot by that, may be because I have lost my father 9 months ago. From the bottom of my heart, I couldn't believe he is no more. After him, I feel for no one, no attachments personally. It looks like no one really exists..

I am not a robot, I have feelings and even I loved a man, but when I lost my father... things become very clear to me. Felt like, I don't love anyone except my father. Not even that man, with whom I had beautiful memories. I easily forget him.

Many times, I want to say things to my surrounding people, but looks like they are in their own zone, or may be I am not able to express in a correct way, that's why everyone keep a distance from me.

Also, I use Instagram a lot, and in many of the posts, I had read "Never share your feelings to other people, they don't really care". So, even if like some people, I hide my feelings. I don't want people to judge me because no one really understands what really matters to me.

I miss my Dad, a lot. but who cares.. hearing the same thing may be irritating for others.. so yes offcourse, I am trying to get over it. And I AM to be honest.

Love see no distance....

At this time, there is a man who lives 15,000 kms away from me, he calls me Chiquitica :) He speaks Spanish and not even understand english properly. We use translators.. funny it is hahaha I like when he try to speak English <3

This song Sin Bandera - Kilometros he sent me like 10 times!

I like him a lot.. or i think I love him...

Like or Love, difficult for me to say. I still don't know much about him, but yes I want to spend my tim

e with him. I like how he handles me... my mood swings, my temper.. time when I really someone.. he is there.

I had a lot of conversations with him, and after that I realised loving someone doesn't requires a physical touch. Physical touch is important, I know but I had seen only his pictures and he saw mine and we both decided to marry. Its crazy but lets believe that.

I am going to meet him soon and then we will decide our future, this is what we agreed.

Practical approach.. hahahaha

Sex, is it mandatory for any relationship?

May be yes and may be no. It depends on person to person.

All the relationships that I had always had sex in it. So, yes sex is good, but ONLY sex.. I don't think that's the right thing for any relationship to build for long term.

If you feel, he is the one.. then I don't think sex is even a topic to think about. I suggest go with the flow. If you feel pleasure having sex with your partner don't give a second thought...

BUT, if your partner only think about having sex with you, ignoring what you feel, what you like, what you actually want, then just LEAVE him/her.

This is what my personal opinion is and I literally follow this!

Anything Unsaid yet?

I think many things, but lets talk later. Its evening and need to spend time with mom now, have to take care of her :)

Many of my friends said to me that I am very arrogant from past few days, I don't know why they say that. I never hurt anyone's feelings, but seems like something is affecting me and I have to find out that. I am taking a deep breath and taking a break from everyone, I think that's the best thing you should do when no one in your surrounding understands you. I am going to work on my skills, only goal of my life is to be the best version of myself.

I am writing this, and some one is messaging on whatsapp, asking why I am writing all this.. so answer is... because there are many things which I want to talk but there is no one with whom I can share. he lives 15000 km away, difficult for me to explain him what I feel.. language issue.. distance issue.. many things, so I rather prefer staying quite.

And even I feel a strong connection with my own identity, so I like talking this way :)