Why Erotic Friendships Could Be the Secret to a Happy Marriage

While the title might raise a few eyebrows, the concept of erotic friendships within a marriage is not about infidelity or swinging. Instead, the concept extends an individual's understanding of love and affection, incorporating a sense of flirtatiousness, passion and romantic friendship within the confines of their primary relationship.

Understanding Erotic Friendships

Erotic friendships refer to the idea of cultivating a space within a marriage that allows friendship, eroticism, and romance to exist simultaneously, enhancing the depth and intimacy of the connection. Cultivating an erotic friendship with your spouse means creating an environment that encourages spontaneous, passionate, and playful interactions that are not solely centered around physical intimacy but also emotional and intellectual compatibility.

The Importance of Friendship in Marriage

Before diving into the erotic realm, we must first understand the crucial role that friendship plays in a successful marriage. You and your spouse are partners in every aspect of life - co-parents, co-financial managers, and co-pilots of your shared journey. Yet, at the heart of this partnership should be a firm foundation of friendship.

A study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that those married to their best friend have a significantly higher satisfaction rate in their marriages. A solid friendship within a marriage provides a safe space for open conversations and mutual understanding, an essential element in resolving conflicts and fostering trust.

Mixing Eros and Friendship

Having a friendly relationship with your spouse is vital, but without a touch of Eros - the erotic or romantic love - marriages may fall into the trap of becoming too platonic or monotonous over the years. The aspect of eroticism brings a spark of passion and a level of intimacy that's deeper than just affectionate love. Erotic friendships, therefore, balance the comfort of friendship and the passion of romantic love.

Examples

Let's make this concept of erotic friendship clear with some realistic examples.

Example 1: Shared Interests and Flirtatious Teasing

Consider Sara and David, a couple married for ten years with two children. They found joy in raising their family but along the way, their connection as a couple started to fade a little as they functioned more as co-parents than lovers. Sara loved reading romantic novels, and David enjoyed writing. They decided to combine their interests, with David writing short love stories for Sara to read. This activity enabled them to engage in something fun together, revived the romantic connection they've had by creating a playful and flirtatious atmosphere. This shared secret hobby of theirs brought a sense of erotic tension and excitement into their marriage.

Example 2: Role Play and Imagination

Take the case of Denise and Andrew, married for seven years and feeling their relationship was getting into a predictable pattern. To break the monotony, they agreed on using imaginative role-play. This reintroduced an element of mystery and excitement into their rapport. The anticipation of not knowing what role they will be playing each time brought an erotic charge into their interaction.

Benefits of Erotic Friendships within Marriage

Erotic friendships in a marriage can lead to several benefits:

Deepened Connection

The playful banter, shared secrets, and flirtatious interaction strengthen the bond between the couple. This allows them to enjoy each other's company beyond the parent or partner roles they fulfill.

Enhanced Communication

Erotic friendship entails open conversations about needs, desires, and fantasies. Such transparency typically translates into improved communication in other aspects of marriage.

Rekindled Passion

The element of eroticism helps to reignite the spark that may have dulled over time due to the repetitiveness or the mundane nature of daily routine, keeping the marriage fresh and invigorated.

Elevated Trust and Understanding

Erotic friendships nurture an atmosphere of trust. Sharing fantasies or participating in playful banter requires vulnerability, which builds deeper understanding and trust.

Conclusion

In conclusion, for a happy and successful marriage, it isn't enough to merely love each other romantically or be in a friendly relationship. Infusing elements of Eros and friendship is key to keeping the marital union exciting, passionate, and deeply fulfilling. The concept of erotic friendships forces us to reconsider the boundaries of our marital relationships and redefine them in a way that there is a balance between passion and comfort, excitement and stability, love and friendship.

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Sources:

National Bureau of Economic Research. (2014). Marriage and Happiness: A Review. [online] Available at: www.nber.org/papers/w21680 [Accessed 18 Mar. 2022]. ↩