Why Do Some Relationships Take So Much Effort?

Relationships can be complicated to maintain.

Whether it's your romantic partner, family member, or best friend, we all have people who can push our buttons and make us feel like we're constantly spinning our wheels in the mud to keep them happy.

When you have to put so much effort into maintaining your relationship, it can be frustrating and exhausting to the point where you start to question why you even started it in the first place.

But why do some relationships need so much effort while others seem effortless?

Here are five reasons why some relationships take so much more work than others...

Ways to Know if You're the Problem

It can be easy to feel like our partners are always at fault in any conflict, but it's essential to look at your behavior and determine if you're contributing to friction.

In conflict, remember that there is a difference between issues of fact and issues of feeling. If a fight is not about anything concrete—like what you did or didn't do—then chances are it has more to do with how you perceive things than with reality itself.

This doesn't mean that your partner isn't capable of hurting you; it just means that their actions alone aren't responsible for how you feel.

The first step in dealing with a relationship issue is figuring out whether or not there's something wrong inside yourself too.

Being Happy in a Relationship

When we are unhappy in a relationship, we want things to be different.

We think if only our partner would change and do X or Y differently, we would be happy.

The problem with that logic is you're living someone else's life instead of your own.

If you're unhappy, you need to look inward; not outward.

What needs to change from within yourself to be happy with what's going on around you?

Would changing your mindset and bringing more love into your life help make you happier when it comes to dating or in general?

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Getting Along with Others Takes Work

It seems like a no-brainer: you love someone and want to be with them.

But, sometimes, even when you have all of those feelings for someone else, it can still be hard to connect.

This is especially true if your partner has different beliefs or patterns than you do and is unwilling to make changes or compromises.

When faced with these types of situations, it's easy to become resentful or frustrated.

However, there are things that each person can do that can improve relationship satisfaction and help reduce conflict in an intimate relationship.

Loving from a Distance

Science has confirmed what many of us know from experience:

If a relationship works, both partners need to be invested in it.

This means that if you're feeling as though you're always fighting for your love—whether with a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife—the problem might not be them.

Instead, it could be that your emotional connection has waned.

While we like to think that people fall in love and then never change, experts say relationships require effort over time—especially when children enter the picture.

When both parties feel appreciated and nurtured by their partner, they are more likely to put energy into meeting each other's needs and building on their own lives together.

The Right Partner Makes Life Easier

The key to an effortless relationship is finding someone who doesn't make you work harder.

For example, if your partner needs constant reassurance and support, it will be a lot of work to maintain that kind of relationship.

For example, imagine that you have a partner with low self-esteem—instead of building them up and helping them become stronger, you end up working hard to boost their ego.

If your relationship makes life more complicated than more accessible, it's time to reevaluate what you want out of life and relationships.

Understanding Differences Can Help Too

While communication is a skill anyone can learn, it's never simple or easy.

However, keeping an open mind to your partner's feelings and needs can help you understand where they are coming from and how best to support them in times of need.

It's important to note that every person is different, so there isn't just one right way to make any relationship work.

Also, remember that relationships go through seasons; sometimes, relationships are easier than others.

But hard doesn't mean bad—it just means that both people involved will have to work together for a little while before things settle back down into a rhythm. In other words: It's okay if things aren't perfect all of the time!

Working Together Makes Things Better

Once you've gotten a handle on what you want and don't want in a relationship, it can be helpful to ask yourself which kind of relationship is right for you.

Are you better off seeking long-term commitment, or are shorter, less emotionally intense relationships more your speed?

There's no one answer—and different people have different needs. But by asking yourself these questions, you can get a sense of which style of relationship feels most comfortable to you.

And if that happens to be something other than what you currently have, then read on!

Asking for What You Want: This sounds obvious, but we all know how hard it can be to speak up and tell someone what we need.

Choosing the Right Relationship for You

One relationship that seems effortless is often one that was carefully curated to be that way.

You may fall into a relationship quickly or without much thought, but is it truly a healthy match for you and your needs?

Suppose you are in a relationship where there is constant drama, fighting, or abusive behavior.

In that case, you may need to take a step back and reevaluate your current situation.

Consider if your partner respects and supports you as an individual. Are they treating you with respect, and do they keep your goals?

Is their presence in your life helping make it better or worse?

Make sure that if you choose to stay in your current relationship, there's no drama—and lots of love!

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