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Why Do People Ghost People?

You hit if off well, or so you thought. Why do people ghost people?

Ghosting is a brutal practice, and there's no denying that. Psychologically speaking, the effects of rejection are magnified when you never get a reply back. It makes you wonder what you did wrong, and typically registers in your mind as a way that says you weren't even worth saying goodbye to.

Though it's a clearly dishonorable way to leave a relationship in many cases, it's incredibly common. Around two thirds of all people in the current singles scene have either ghosted, been ghosted, or had both happen at different times.

Anyone who has been at the receiving end of it has wondered, "Why do people ghost people?" Here's the ugly truth behind the act.

Breakups are hard, and breaking up with someone is harder. There are a lot of people who fly off the handle, make a scene, and raise a stink. When you have to break things off, it's hard to actually be on the receiving end of things.

A person who is strong about things will break things off face-to-face, even if it's rough. All things considered, you really don't have to ask, "Why do people ghost people?" It's a sign that they are too weak to handle a difficult conversation.

Some people also admit that they think it's easier on the ghostee.

Believe it or not, many people who ghost tend to think it's less emotionally harmful than a simple face-to-face breakup. Obviously, this isn't true. Ghosting has the opposite effect, and has actually been scientifically proven to spark rage in those who are dumped.

If you're one of those people who ghost others because you think you're doing others a favor, stop. It's not doing anyone a favor except for you—and your reputation definitely isn't doing well because of it.

A lot of people have experienced the act of being un-ghosted or "zombied." This happens when a person who was ghosted has that certain someone try to make an appearance in their life again, often behaving like nothing happened.

When this happens, the reason why it happened is pretty plain: They had someone else they were more interested in, dropped you like a rock, and the person they liked rejected them. So, they came back to you. A real class act, right? Don't worry, if you're wondering what to do when you get ghosted and this happens, the solution is simple: Don't respond.

You could have been the other woman or other man.

Why do people ghost people? In many cases of adultery, it's because they may have been caught cheating. When their main partner demands for them to dump their affair partners, it's most often done by ghosting them.

One of the signs that you're his side piece also involves the frequency of his ghosting habits. Does he go dark, only to come back in a few days? He is probably with his wife or girlfriend when that happens.

When we were young, our parents taught us how to socialize with other people. We were taught to say "Sorry," "Please," "Thank you," and were also taught not to hit people we don't agree with. As we grow, we take those lessons with us.

Most people had parents who taught them to break up with a person in person, or at least, over the phone. These traditional values are what we learn. People who weren't raised by those values, however, are more likely to ghost.

It's also a sign that someone is too immature to handle a relationship.

Additionally, it's important to understand that maturity levels also play into the reasons people ghost people. A person who is capable of handling a relationship typically won't ghost because relationships call for being able to have tough talks when they are necessary.

When a person runs away from tough talks, they're signaling to their partner that they don't yet have a personality that is capable of dealing with the harder parts of a relationship.

Ghosting is a common occurrence in the modern dating scene—and that means that it's slowly becoming the new norm. With the increasing commonality of ghosting, it's not surprising that some people choose to ghost dates because they think it's the way things are done. The culture of ghosting is becoming a serious problem, and needs to be addressed before it is the new standard.

On rare occasions, it's actually done to purposefully hurt you.

Most people who ghost people do not want to actually hurt the person they're ghosting. However, a select few will choose this breakup style with the specific goal of trying to add salt to the wound of a breakup.

Typically, people who go out of their way to hurt others via ghosting are lovers who have caught their partners cheating, or who have caught their partners otherwise harming them in irreparable ways. It's a final middle finger to a bad relationship.

It's not surprising that many domestic violence shelters advise women who are leaving abusive spouses to ghost their partners. Sometimes, vanishing is the best way to avoid abusive people lashing out in anger during a breakup.

Abuse is not love. If you gave your partner reason to fear for their lives, this could be why they ghosted you. Arguably, it's the best reason somebody could come up with for times when people ghost people.

pop culture
Sasha Konikovo
Sasha Konikovo
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Sasha Konikovo

Born in the Ukraine and currently a citizen of New York City, Sasha Konikovo has become obsessed with makeup, fashion, and anything that keeps her svelte figure looking sharp. She hopes to marry a billionaire and have a lifestyle like Paris Hilton soon enough.

See all posts by Sasha Konikovo

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