Why Did He Leave, Why Did He Come Back

How many times has your man left you and came back? Unfortunately, I can tell you how many mine has and his reasons why but it wasn't all his fault. We have three kids together and yes ALL of them are his. I somehow managed to give birth to two girls and one boy. The woman's body is mysterious and kind of scary if you ask me. Anyways, back to the subject at hand.

This person is a tall, tan, and handsome man. Well really just tall and handsome. He has the most beautiful hazel eyes and long dirty blonde hair. So you guys have an idea of what he looks like. To be honest, he is way out of my league when it comes to his looks. This tall, blonde, and beautiful man managed to break my heart more than once if that's even possible.

We met in February of 2015 same year I graduated. We went to different high schools not to mention we were in different grades. We met through mutual friends. (I can tell you how we met in another story time. It's pretty hilarious!) Puppy love filled the air and all the usual kissing and hand holding and 'doing the do'. Okay, so I know how babies are made, but let me just say it did surprise me when nine months later I found out I was pregnant.

Do you know how long it took for him to jet? Almost two months. Didn't think an 18 year old would have lasted that long though. So, if leaving me pregnant wasn't bad enough it was the day before Christmas Eve. He waited until I drove over to see him to tell me it's over. I found out months later with the baby a size of a soccer ball and puffy eyes from the constant waterfalls his reasons for leaving.

He thought the baby wasn't his. His family and friends got into his head and freaked him out more than he already was. He thought that I had cheated on him with his friend and I'll just say he thought the baby I was caring was not coming out white. By the way, I did not. I thought to myself, "This dumb ass." So other than that, all the other reasons were I'm too young to have a kid and I want to get my thing wet with other females. That was really it. Pretty much my whole first pregnancy I was alone.

Of course I took him back after an apology which seemed legit. Just so happened, it was the baby's due date... which she didn't come until a week later. (Keep a look out for my pregnancy stories too!) Everything was going well at first. He was adjusting to being a father. Fast forward to 2017 after having our second little girl. That's when everything started falling apart.

Responsibilities of being a young father of two and taking care of his family became a burden. He didn't make a lot of money which led to arguments about our financial issues. So to avoid that when I was able to I went back to work. Finding a babysitter that was reliable and that I could afford was almost impossible. Along with that every job I had he disagreed with no matter how much money I brought home. He said this was when HIS trust started to fade.

He blamed me for wanting to work as a waitress and a sales representative is why he started not to trust me. Wanting to work as much as I could for our family wasn't the problem, it was the environment. A club waitressing for males and females was a no. Then working with males and females in and out of the office was a problem. These just never ended. Our arguments never ended. At the end of it all I started to blame myself for our problems. Finally, I settled for a retail job position.

All this time of arguing and pushing me away, not wanting to come home because of me and I grew tired of it. So I cheated on him. I should have just ended it, but, the hurt and betrayal I felt made me realize I had done the same. I hid it from him, found out I was pregnant a couple months later and quit my job. All I wanted to do was forget that it ever happened, that I did that to us.

The turn out was to be expected, he left me. Now let me say the timing sucked and also the way he did it. Everything that happened between us wasn't the knife that cut the cake. It was the constant burning in his brain that something had happened, something I had done made him and I both feel different. So one day we get into a HUGE argument about him getting drunk and staying over at his buddies place. He gets so mad that he gets up from the couch, says it's over I'm done, and walks out. It hurt me and I didn't want to believe it. I tried to get him back, but at the same time I was angry. He left me with bills, debt, no money, no job, two kids and one on the way. Do you blame me? Afterwards I did nothing but work and pray.

Fast forward December 2019, Christmas Eve I had my son. I wanted him to be there. His excuse was he didn't hear his phone ring any of the thirteen times. A month after I had him, he came back. I still loved him, I wanted him to have a relationship with his son so I took him back. There was nothing but constant back and forth, are we or are we not together. He would get my hopes up just to say he still can't trust me and leave. A new one came into play when he "fell in love" with someone else. He wanted to try to be with her and not me. Okay. Anger and jealous boiled just knowing of this girl being around him while we were "working on things". Ladies you know that feeling you get when a female doesn't seem right around your man.

When I thought it was all said and done, I told him "No more." I didn't realize how much I could take until enough was enough. By that time I had found someone that I could love and maybe he could do the same. THAT was what drove him back for the last time. Apparently he felt that I was drifting away and that I had meant what I said. I was truly and genuinely happy with this person. Maybe because it was new or maybe I felt something I hadn't felt in years. Well, that came to an end when I had to choose between the two. Should I choose the father of my kids. the first love of my life, and risk it all again? Or him, the one I fell for and never once tried to hurt me or make me feel like I was nothing and disposable?

You know I chose the one who stole my heart and made me feel happy and wanted. But that didn't stop the tall and handsome. He fought and it only lasted a couple days. My past caught up to me and I was alone again. It was until he called me asking, begging to take him back one last time. I did, and we've been together since.