When You Have High Expectations From Your Partner,

When you expect too much from a partner or a relationship, reality will often disappoint you and things will go wrong - and you will be left wondering why you can't find the right partner and why you can't have a relationship. happy… Because when we dream of perfection, life does not live up to our expectations.

Those who have high expectations of a relationship and their potential partner often look at life only in black and white: either everything is perfect, as they expected and as they wished - or everything is horrible when expectations are met. are betrayed…

The middle variant, the realistic one, namely the awareness that life is often gray, that some things are good, others less good, does not exist. Idealistic people with high expectations believe that when something goes wrong, nothing can go right… When a potential partner or relationship does not live up to their expectations, they give up, continuing to look for that ideal perfection…

When you have high expectations from a potential partner:

It does not create a standard image, an ideal type of the perfect partner. For no person in the flesh will be able to rise to the level of the ideal! If you dream of the perfect partner and you are stubborn to hope that you could find such a person in real life, then every new potential partner will be rejected.

You will always be disappointed that no one will compare to your ideal image. You will reject nice, intelligent, attractive people, just because you don't think they are good enough, they are not the way you dreamed.

Accept that everyone has their flaws. When you have high expectations, you will find a flaw in every new potential partner, a defect that will not suit you. Too tall, too fat, too serious, too superficial, too boring, too curious, too jealous, too, too, too… Instead of admiring the qualities, you will look for knots in the rush and exaggerate the flaws - this is because of your ideal partner!

But before you evaluate anyone else, you thought about yourself - are you perfect? Everyone has their flaws, which does not mean rejecting a person at first. Of course, it is not good to be content with anything and to make too many compromises - but not to judge each one just because he is a man in the flesh and not a fantasy!

Don't try to change a person so that they fit the pattern you want. Sometimes, when you have high expectations, you can even try to change a person, to make them mold to your desires.

You suggest to her what you would like from her and you manipulate her so that you have a partner, if not perfect, then as close as possible to your standards and expectations. But you shouldn't try to change a person to suit you - you should try to like them for who they are (plus, no one changes).

I didn't dream of having them all. We are all free to dream; and I often dreamed of a couple of partners who would have them all: beauty; intelligence; a sense of humor; talent; charisma; money; Courage; ambition; and who… to be mad after us, to adore us and to give us everything.

But such a thing is simply not possible: no one has them all; in addition, no one will give you everything at once, will not give you his heart and person, as long as you do not give your turn…

When you expect too much from a relationship:

Don't be drawn to the fantasies of modern fairy tales. You come across syrupy love stories everywhere - books, movies… But these are what they are: simple fantasies, modern fairy tales with a happy ending, in which nothing really bad happens, and in which love is perfect.

Never compare real life with such stories; do not look for a love story that rises to the level of these fairy tales; he did not dream too much of passionate and romantic loves and adventures. Life is not like that! She is both good and bad, and happy and hard…

Don't expect everything to go smoothly. You want everything to be exactly the way you want it to be, and if it isn't, you don't like it! If you have high expectations from the idea of ​​a couple of relationships, if you expect that once you find someone, everything will go smoothly and form a great couple, then you will be disoriented and disappointed by the reality that a relationship requires work, adaptation, compromise.

Everything can't be permanently good and beautiful - you are still arguing, you are more upset, you are sadder… This is life, with good and bad, but if you love, you get over the bad because the good is priceless…

He did not dream of perfect love, of a burning passion. If you have as your ideal that love that poets sing, a passionate, fiery, infinite, great love that consumes and dominates you, that is everything, that changes everything, that gives you shivers and feelings of ecstasy - then real life is it can confuse you. Because after the thrills of the beginning, the real, deep, authentic love would seem, compared to the ecstatic dreams of the poets, too little.

Some people give up a relationship because they no longer feel the thrills of passion and are constantly looking for those intense and devastating sensations. But you can't always shudder - over time, love becomes more "calm" - but even more real and deep…

Don't give up on the first impasse. Sometimes, at the first ugly quarrel, some give up - it's too hard and prefers to run away. If you expect the relationship to go smoothly, without you making an effort, if you expect your partner to always agree with you, if you expect to always understand each other, then a first ugly quarrel can make you think that everything is destroyed, that it is useless, that nothing works…

But a stalemate does not mean the end at all - as long as you stop dreaming of perfection and learn to be happy in reality!