What would you do if you felt no fear?

What would I do if I had no fear? That’s an interesting question. Can I feel how it would be to genuinely have no fear? It’s hard to know how to be that free.

Is it because I have fear and I know fear…I have zero interest in skydiving bungee jumping and ballooning? Or is it because, as I believe, those activities hold no interest for me, fearless or not?

If I had no fear, I’d drive everywhere and anywhere without thinking about it twice. I was working towards that goal when a minor but stupid bingle five minutes from home, sent me tumbling back to cowardice and well worn routes again. I have a not unreasonable fear of being maimed or dying in a stupid automative accident that probably wouldn’t even be my own fault. Not completely irrational!

I had fear I thought… when I chose to stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people to perform scenes I wrote myself, drawn from the most private areas of my life. But once I began, took a deep breath and focussed I actually felt fired up and elated. People could relate to my stories! So I know I’m not scared of performance.

I’m going to have to act as if I don’t have any fear when it comes to getting older ( I can’t quite believe how old I am!) I’m hoping that acting “as if I’m ageless" is somehow going to become real. As if it will all be ok ,I’ll reach a good age with all my faculties intact, carried off in my sleep having had a good life…However, there’s dementia in my family and cancer. I didn’t have fear of cancer … and was perplexed when I was unexpectedly diagnosed with it. But I wasn’t afraid, it had been caught quickly, I’m not entirely sure why but I definitely was not afraid. And over 10 years later, I’m fine. But dementia is another matter. I have to try not to go down a rabbit hole of fear every time I’m grasping for a word, which is happening with a depressing frequency these days, or I am in a room and I can’t remember why.

Perhaps if I had no fear I’d be able to adopt a glass half full attitude about all that that possible diagnosis might bring. Adapt myself to the progression … find ways to mitigate the changes being wrought. Defy them, carry a notebook, I don’t know whatever I could do to slow the march of that disease.

That’s the one that is really scary.

Anyway it hasn’t happened yet. It may not! So perhaps part of having no fear is to concentrate on one day at a time.

So what would I do if I didn’t have any fear? Seek out those people who I have hurt or have hurt me and apologise or demand an apology? Finally ride that jet pack I’ve always wanted to try, Try to surf a wave? Drive on the Monash freeway? Maybe but what choice do I really have ? The answer probably the same as if I was crippled with that fear, get up every day and forge on.

A reasonable measure of fear, of caution at least is necessary in this world. We don’t need to cower in our houses, but we can probably do what we were going to do anyway, even if we have to push out of our comfort zone. Overthinking everything, is I suppose a symbol of an underlying fear, one you might not have acknowledged. You don’t have to be reckless but if the fear is a disproportionate one, given the task or activity., take a deep breath, clear your mind and put that toe outside the zone!