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What to Do When You Suspect Your Husband Is Cheating on You

If this is true, you must understand the reason.

By Christy BarkerPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
What to Do When You Suspect Your Husband Is Cheating on You
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

What to do with my husband - I think he's cheating on me! It is a difficult and delicate situation, especially because you are not only thinking about yourself, about your relationship but also about the children, how they will be affected by this situation and how they will go through it.

When you start to suspect that he is cheating on you, everything you have built together seems to crumble in one fell swoop, your life suddenly changes and you no longer know your place. You may even prefer not to know the truth, to live in an illusion, pretending that everything is normal and nothing is wrong… But how long can you do that?

What do I do with my husband - I think he's cheating on me? First of all, try to look at the situation realistically, overcome your first emotional reaction and find out the truth: is it cheating on you?

Do you have clear signs or objective evidence or is it just a suspicion, just your instinct that something is wrong with him and so you guess what's worse? Are you just relying on some changes in his behavior or do you know something real?

If you spend more and more time after normal work outside the home, if you are always late with strange excuses - this is not always a sign that you are cheating!

Some studies have shown that men may prefer to stay at work longer than necessary or spend time with co-workers so as not to come home early! Why? It's hard at home, there are responsibilities, children, noise, tasks that need to be done. At work, he is quiet, calm, without small children to support him…

Maybe the atmosphere at home has become too much for him and he prefers to be as late as possible, inventing various excuses. This does not mean that he no longer wants to, but that he feels exhausted and does not know how to handle multiple responsibilities.

Avoiding sex is not always a sign that you are cheating! Lately, he doesn't even look at you, he is disinterested in sex, whatever you do or propose? It can be about physical or mental exhaustion, it can be about various physiological conditions, it can even be about the crisis of middle age. If he realizes that he is getting older every day and this thought scares him, frustrations and sadness can cut his libido!

Is he emotionally distant, is he always distant, no longer talking, no longer looking into your eyes? It can also be an emotional reaction related to the crisis of middle age: he realizes that he feels unfulfilled, that his youthful dreams are gone, that what he is now will always be, and that he has no direction to evolve…

These negative feelings of regret and sadness can push him into isolation, because he may think that you will not understand him and that you will blame him for not valuing his family.

So, before the question "what should I do with my husband, I think he is cheating on me", try to look at him, to realize what is happening to the man you love, whom you thought you knew, what is happening in his life. Try to look at the situation objectively and not jump directly to the worst assumption!

Watch for behavioral symptoms, talk to family and loved ones, ask them what they think, do your best to find out!

If there is still a hint of trust in him, communicate with him, talk to him, try to find out the truth from him and what is happening to him. And when and if you find out for sure, with evidence or testimony that you are being deceived, the real torment begins…

What to do with my husband, I think he's cheating on me! The most important thing: do not pretend, do not imagine that it is just a passing phase, that it will pass and return to you!

Do not choose to live in ignorance for fear of loneliness or "for the sake of children"! It is your life and your right to try to be happy, and life with a man who cheats on you only can not be happy! Sometimes a single mother can be happier and raise her children more calmly and lovingly than if she is left living in frustration and torment with a betraying man.

The first step: face it! See what he has to say, how much he struggles to deny, and how he reacts when he knows that the match is lost when he knows that you know. He may apologize, regret, blame himself, suffer, but he may also falsify these emotions and show you "crocodile tears" or he may remain indifferent.

Find out what the situation is:

Either it is his first betrayal, a passing adventure caused by routine, boredom, the need for sensationalism, passion, the new - involved in the crisis of middle age. No, this is not an excuse, but it can be a singular mistake that, with much sacrifice, can be forgiven. If you are sure that it happened once, balance your betrayal with sincere regret, your relationship, and its value, children, and make a decision! But if you decide to forgive, the forgiveness must be total.

You don't have to pretend to forgive and then make his life miserable! You can only get over it with time, only if your regret and guilt are sincere and your forgiveness is complete! As bad as it sounds, adultery occurs at some point in many marriages, but many marriages also recover and recover. You decide if your relationship and family are worth it or not.

Either way, the second situation doesn't fool you for the first time. He has always been after women and you have noticed that he cannot help himself. You've suspected something was going on in the past, but you were afraid to research and ask questions.

But this time, you have reached the end and you have to face it! If this is the case, consider whether your life and that of your children is better with such a man. If it's not the first time he's cheated on you, it's not the last time! Are you willing to keep the appearance of a united family? The frustration of such a life can bring you down! If you want to stay close to him for children, you can decide to wait until they grow up and reach an age where it will be easier for them to manage the situation.

But do not get used to living in a lie, as soon as the separation will not affect the children intensely, take the step and give yourself the chance to live without stress, frustration, sadness, and bitterness. As has been said, a single life can be much better than a life with a traitor. It's your decision, it's about your life, not just the children's, so try to make a decision that is "the least bad."

But it can also happen that he wanted to break up for a long time, but he was afraid. And now that you've found out, the excuse is missing for him to leave the family. Here, it is no longer your decision and you have nothing to do but try not to give in to sadness. It's hard, it's maybe the hardest thing you've been through, it's a horrible loss precisely because it's his choice, but time heals and horrible wounds…

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    CBWritten by Christy Barker

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