What it's like to grow up dirt poor

I'll never forget the day when I was 24 working a part time job and needed a ride home to my dad's . I had recently just left my abusive husband at the time and didn't have my own vehicle as he would never let me get my license or my own vehicle. My co worker at the time offered to give me a ride to my dad's how. the house i grew up at.

"Right here." I said just as she almost passed the long drive way with the white fence and run down sheds next to it. She could barely see the house sitting at the top of the hill but could tell judging from the shape of the sheds, it probably wasn't much to look at either.

"You live here?" She commented with a laugh, almost in disbelief.

"Yeah." I replied. "What?"

"Oh... nothing.. I just would have never guessed you lived here judging by how you dress any everything. I really thought you lived in a mansion!"

I laughed. "Yeah, well, when you grow up poor you get really good at tricking people into thinking you have money. People don't respect you or trust your judgement when you're poor."

She nodded in agreement, "yeah, that is true..."

"Anyway, thanks for the ride! I'll see you tomorrow!" I got out of her SUV and started walking up the worn out gravel driveway in the dark using my cellphone as a flashlight. It was then I knew that after years of perfecting my closet with things rich people buy, that I knew i succeeded in making people think I had money and i chuckled a little bit.

They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but in all honesty we all do. We all judge by what we see on the outside. We'll see somebody walking down the street wearing what appears to be raggedy, homeless clothing and we know absolutely nothing about this person and yet we still make assumptions about what kind of person they are. We have no idea. They could actually be a millionaire and live in the nicest house in the city. Unlikely, but you just never know.

I was born into a family that was well known. Both sets of grandparents were well off for the most part and well respected in our hometown. Members of the local country club. They always had such nice things. My intermediate family on the other hand was the complete opposite. My mother never worked. My dad started his own business as a handyman. He never made too much money. Pride stopped him from seeking a traditional job. He would rather struggle than ever work a 9 to 5 job letting someone else be the boss of him. He never brought home more than 1,000 to maybe 1500 a month. We never had assistance of any kind. With him being self employed, they would deny him food stamps or anything else like that. When I was about 10 years old, I realized why our electric and telephone were always getting shut off every month. We simply couldn't afford it. My dad couldn't afford new clothes for us either. We were always getting hand me downs from relatives or friends of our parents and sometimes they were hideous and out dated clothing. I remember being embarrassed going to a private school, comparing my clothes to the other kids in the class. You could tell I was poor. The other kids could tell I was less fortunate. It was hard to make friendships because of it. I hated it more than anything. It was embarrassing.

It was just miserable. I never even got gifts on my birthdays until I got into high school and had a part time job and was able to actually buy myself things that I wanted or needed. Christmas was always miserable. I never got anything I wanted .

Once i got into high school, I made it a point to start dressing well. This included spending all my money on the nicest things I could get my hands on. I knew I couldn't change the house I lived in, at least not yet anyway, but I could change the way the outside world saw me. I remember buying my first pair of jeans that were a little over $100. I was used to spending $25 or less on jeans. Once I started wearing more expensive clothes, I got noticed more, people looked twice. They listened to me more. They respected me more. It's amazing how just one small change like the way you dress or the way you style your hair can change people's perception of you.

It was funny because back then, if those same people who suddenly wanted to be my friend, if they had seen my home, they wouldn't have talked to me again. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't in a way.

Dressing nicer did open up new doors for me though. More opportunities came my way when I took control of my appearance .

It's sad it has to be like that, but unfortunately it is the way of the world. When you dress well, people are more likely to respect you and listen to you. .