Before I met my recent ex I had been single for nearly two years. And as much as I wanted to be in a relationship I refused to meet anyone. I didn’t kiss anyone, didn’t sleep with anyone, I didn’t go on dates. I stayed away from it all.
While my friends were either getting into relationships or getting laid I was at home with unshaved legs and in bed by 9 p.m. watching Friends.
The older I get the scarier being single seems, but hey I feel young so it’s not so bad.
Being newly single at the age of 26 is strange because I thought I’d be married or at least engaged around this age. I suppose it is young, but it’s scary to imagine being single for another ten years.
Anyway, let’s get into what it’s actually like being single. No dates, no sex, nothing. If you have been single for a long period of time too then you will know what I’m talking about.
When you’re freshly single it can be lonely.
When you first go through a breakup it can get quite lonely, especially if you were used to having your partner around all the time. Their sudden absence can be awful to cope with. Loneliness will eat you alive if you let it.
When you’ve been single for a while it can be lonely.
As lonely as it can get being newly single, it can be equally as lonely when you’ve been single for a while. When you’ve been alone for a long period of time you do start to question and doubt if you’ll ever find someone to love again. Those sorts of doubts can bring fear into the mind.
You lose your desire for sex.
If you’ve been without sex for a long period of time you’ll notice that you won’t really want it. The thought of it is tiring, so you snuggle up in bed alone and sleep peacefully without all the hassle that comes with sex — having to pee after it, putting on and taking off protection, the clean up, the sweat, the mess. Without sex everything is peaceful.
You crave sex.
You’ll also have many moments where you miss it. Sometimes you just want to get down and dirty. But as much as you crave for it you probably won’t do anything about it, instead, you’ll choose ice cream and movies over meeting someone new.
You miss affection.
Having someone to kiss and cuddle will be one of the biggest things you’ll miss when you’re single. Personally I miss getting back tickles and foot rubs.
You fantasize about your future lover and what they’ll be like.
You might make them up in your head or base them off one of your celebrity crushes. You might even imagine a scenario of how you two will meet.
You actually forget what heartbreak is like.
No matter how bad the breakup was, eventually you’ll forget the pain. Maybe it’s a good thing that we forget or we would all be too scared to risk falling in love.
You get used to sleeping alone.
And you’ll love having the bed to yourself, except on those cold winter nights.
You lose hope.
We all get those feelings of hopelessness from time to time. You see everyone else in happy relationships and the loneliness can be unbearable. You might lose hope that you'll ever meet anyone again, but that feeling will pass.
You feel hopeful.
It’s so strange that we go from one extreme to another. But that is how the brain works, it’s a drama queen. If you watch a romantic movie you will probably feel hopeful that eventually, you’ll meet ‘the one’ and live happily ever after.
You get bored.
Without a rush of excitement that the interest of another person brings life can get a little boring. Which is why the next thing tends to happen — see below.
You will have intense celebrity crushes.
Yep, celebrity crushes are a thing for adults. You might have a favourite show that you watch, and all of sudden you’re seeing one of the characters in a new light. Maybe you always thought they were attractive but now, because you’re single and bored, they become an obsession. It’s normal.
You feel free.
You don’t have to worry about whether someone still loves you or not. You don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself. It’s freeing, but let’s face it you’ll wish that you had someone to love, no matter how freeing it feels to be single.
You rarely shave, wax, or take care of body hair.
Need I say more?
Yep, when you’re single you can feel totally content with your situation, but then the next day you might despise being single. You’ll have moments where the thought of a relationship sounds exhausting, but you’ll still crave to be in one. Life and feelings are confusing but don’t take it all too seriously because that’s when it starts to get scary.
Thanks for reading, have a great day ❤
Originally posted on Medium