What is Your Value Add?

The importance of adding value to a business or service is undeniable. Entrepreneurs can miss the fact that achieving a sale on the product or service they provide is the result of reaching the end of a journey. That journey is not solely transactional, it is more a conversation. A dance, perhaps.

Some business owners believe that putting some images on social media and telling the customer why they need to buy their product or service is enough. Certainly, education on how the product or service fills a gap is part of the journey, and a rather important part. But if that is where it begins and ends then we are not in a conversation but rather pontificating to our audience.

Another key factor often missed or, at the very least muddled up badly, is that the target is not necessarily the person with the financial means to purchase. This kind of transaction often times confuses the situation, and the message fails in its delivery. However, companies like Mattel were geniuses at accomplishing this feat.

Although adding value to your customer can be confusing for business owners, they often learn this lesson rather quickly. When they do this, they immediately see larger returns and often feel greater about what the product or service they are providing. So, my question is this; why is it so difficult to understand this in relationships?

Are you adding value to your relationships?

This can be any relationship, including the one with yourself. We tend to be on autopilot that we forget having a real conversation is imperative to achieving true happiness and reaping the most from our lives. There are some people who think of value from a singular perspective; that is they either think they value is something they get, or, value is something they give. Either one is only a half truth. True value goes both ways, it must be given and received. An example of this is the following scenario. In my house I am the one who often cooks but I don't often clean up or set the table and nor do I have to ask for help. I am a single father with one of my children at home half time and one of my adult children and grandson living next door to me. I often cook for all of us. When I am cooking, I give a five-minute warning that our meal will be ready in five and at that time my family assembles to wash their hands and set the table. The meal is served, and we have good time with lots of laughter and conversation (usually). When our meal and conversation is over my children and grandson clear the table, deal with leftovers, wash and dry the dishes, clean the counters and table while I get to have me time. That is a great value add. I don't feel obligated to cook for them and they don't feel obligated to do the cleaning up. Our answer is always the same, that's just what we do. In our home, adding value to each other is just something we do. In our family, I am the dad, I have true dad authority, but it doesn't mean I have omniscient power. I am responsible to add value to our family, especially if I want my children to add value. So, what do we do to make this journey of adding value within our family a possibility?

1. We set and communicate clear boundaries which includes those that we are flexible on and those that we call our hard no's.
2. We differentiate between boundaries and expectations where boundaries are all about us and expectations are imposed on others.
3. We root everything in kindness, empathy, and honesty.
4. We do not shy away from hard conversations.
5. We give praise where it is genuinely earned and needed.
6. We accept that none of us will operate at 100% all the time, and we support each other by "picking up the slack".
7. Mistakes are accepted and celebrated and part of growing and learning, but poor choices (especially those that are damaging) are not.
8. We celebrate that we are all individuals, with individual wants, needs, and goals.
9. I do not use my authority as dad to control but rather guide.

This is not to say that everything is always perfect, we definitely have our off days as a family and sometimes just as individuals within our family. However, this perspective of adding value has increased all our happiness and personal productivity.

What about adding value to yourself?

Adding value to ourselves is no different than adding value to another person. The key difference is you need to think about yourself as the giver and receiver. Before we add value to ourselves, we need to know who we are, what we want, and what we need. Being honest, kind, and empathetic to ourselves is imperative. Knowing how to add value to ourselves is the foundation to being in healthy relationships.

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Thank you for reading. Tips are welcomed and appreciated.

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