What I learned about Relationship

In my past relationships, I did have great communication because I was afraid if I said anything it would make things worse. So I just agreed with what the other said and took what the other said. It broke my heart, but at least I had someone like everyone else right? Wrong. I didn’t really have anyone, why was I kidding myself? I didn’t have anyone that really cared what I think, I was just a toy to them, yes a toy. It made me feel horrible about myself, made me depressed, I cried probably everyday asking why don’t they want me? There was times I would just drink by myself, to sort of numb the pain, but all that got me was very dizzy and nauseated. So that didn’t work, I never got into the drugs because man I probably would be rolling in a lot of puke. Honestly, I know that is a problem for some but I don’t get it. Maybe something was telling me yeah Whitney you don’t need that. So I cried and figured that was a good plan. No all I could really do was try and try. Didn’t get me anywhere but more sadness. Until I met my husband, now he had problems with his last relationship. There was never no communication with her either. So that first two weeks of us texting each other before we met. We laid everything on the table, and even the night we had our first date. Man I didn’t think we had that much to say but we did. But honestly I think there was a reason someone from above sent the past relationships to me, because he brought me this wonderful man. Now our first few months were still a test for us, because he still was having issues with what his ex wife did to him and still was afraid to really let those walls down. But something kept pushing me to break those walls. I mean I had to convince him I wasn’t going to just drop everything and leave. I don’t do that I mean I stayed in my previous relationship for 4 years, even though he didn’t call it a relationship because he was still messing around with other girls. I didn’t even mess with anybody else because I was being faithful for no damn reason. But I knew that his ex wife wasn’t faithful, I knew how that felt having someone cheat on you. I mean it was hard for me because he lived an hour away from me and I didn’t know what he was doing, but something told me Whitney it will be ok. So I tried and tried and tried, for the first time I laid everything down and I actually fought. I fought for myself, I fought for him, and I fought for this relationship. I know what you are asking well didn’t you fight for the other because you were with them for 4 years? No I didn’t, I thought I did but that really wasn’t fighting, that was surrendering. When I mean fighting, I mean sticking up for yourself, fighting for communication from the other, fighting for their respect and love, fight for them. It also works the other way, when the other fights for the same things too. It brings that safety feeling, loving feeling, and attraction feeling to back to you, and makes you feel worthy.

My husband and I have been together since 2011, we are now parents and that is another chapter in your life that you have to go through with your relationship. Believe me when we had our son, I felt like we were fighting all the time, I didn't know what to do. But with that fighting for each other from the beginning, you will find another way. Trust me it helps when the other is working on it too, because if we couldn't make it through our son, we wouldn't of made it at all. But someone above wanted us to be together because I needed him more then anything, as he did for me. He has made me much stronger and beautiful. Your challenges in your relationship will never end because now we have our little girl and it is much easier with her and our relationship, but there are some challenges that I know that we will get through. But if you and the other don't believe in each other it makes it much harder and devastating. Our communication gets stronger everyday, our love gets stronger everyday. If we didn’t meet with each other then I don’t know where I would be.

Keep your head up and fight for your partner and make sure they fight for you too. Love is a powerful thing and it can be rough but take it one day at a time, relationships don't fix itself in a day, it is a everyday battle but man it is so good when you have overcome it.