Welcome to My World...

Many of us have pet hates. Perhaps even calling something a 'pet hate' is a particular peeve of someone. There are those 'parent' phrases, you know the ones, things our own parents used to say and we tell ourselves we will never say to our child but inevitably do: because I say so; if you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about; because I am your mother. I am sure there are countless others.

I admit to numerous pet hates when it comes to language - interchanging words which are not interchangeable; text speak; using the incorrect word because it sounds the same but making the sentence mean something entirely different from its intended meaning; number one on that list for many a grammar Nazi must be writing 'of' instead of 'have'. To be fair, I don't think you have to be a grammar Nazi for that one to be irksome.

But something which I find particularly annoying when it comes to sayings is "welcome to my world".

What does "Welcome to My World" mean?

Welcome to my world means that a person now sees something from another's point of view. It is often said when someone experiences something, possibly for the first time, and another person, whose life may have consisted of regular occurrences of a similar experience, responds with the phrase.

As an example, an athlete might spend everyday training from dusk until dawn while his friend recently decided to train for his first marathon. The friend might talk about all the training he did and how hard it has been on his body. The athlete, considering that this is everyday life for him, responds with 'welcome to my world' meaning that his friend has experienced something he does all the time.

What's wrong with saying it?

There isn't really anything wrong with saying it. When it is said, it is not usually meant in any negative way. It is most likely perceived as nothing more than merely something people say without thinking.

The problem is, though, when we really think about what it means. It is rather narcissistic in a way. It's presumptuous and ignorant. Depending on the context, it can come across as meaning "my life is worse than your life" or "I don't care that this thing bothers you because I have to deal with it." Of course, there is the extension of this in that people deal with things differently, and each person's circumstance is different even if aspects are the same.

The person who says "welcome to my world" also appears to make the assumption that the situation is new to the other person.

Person A: "I'm really tired after working 40 hours this week."

Person B: "Welcome to my world."

Little does Person B know whether Person A always does this, whether they have an illness or disability which makes it much harder for them to do it and so on and so forth.

To say "welcome to my world" is also rather dismissive. It gives the suggestion that the plight of another person is irrelevant or unimportant. Similarly to phrases like "deal with it" or responding to someone's voicing of an ailment with "I know how you feel" "Welcome to my world" is like saying "I don't have time to listen to your woes".

"Welcome to my world" is really a pointless phrase which does nothing to move the conversation forward nor is it helpful.

"I know how you feel"

Now I have mentioned it, let's talk about this one. No, you probably do not know this at all. Another phrase which dismisses a person's feelings. It is highly unlikely that any one person will know how another person feels. Saying "I know how you feel" and continuing with some form of comfort or offer of advice is not so bad. Stating "I know how you feel" and moving on, that comes across as thoughtless.

Besides the fact that no two people and no two situations are the same, even having close similarities between situations does not mean that the feelings are the same.

While this phrase can be either comforting or annoying, depending on the context, the way it is said and by whom, the worst scenario is to tell someone "I know how you feel" when your situations are entirely different. For example, telling someone who has pneumonia that you know how they feel because you have a cold, or someone who has dyslexia "I know how you feel. I hate spelling too" or responding to "I can't eat that, it could kill me." with "I know, right, I don't like it either".

There is a world of difference between saying "I know how you feel" in a comforting way about something you have actually experienced and saying it when you're comparing a niggle to a serious condition.

"I'll pray for you"

There is nothing inherently wrong with telling a person that you will pray for them. It is usually said in a positive context and the person wishing to pray genuinely believes it is a kind and helpful thing to do.

The problem with it comes in two ways. The first is when "I'll pray for you" is said in a way which demeans a person. This includes praying that a homosexual person will turn heterosexual or that someone who doesn't believe the same things will change their faith.

A person is not able to change their sexuality any more than they are able to change the day they were born. As for praying that someone 'sees the light' or 'finds God', etc. That is an individual thing. Believe in what you will, talk about it with people who wish to listen (as long as you are also willing to listen and keep your mind open enough to understand that others of another faith may be as adamant in the truth of it as you are in yours).

The second problem with "I'll pray for you" is that it is said by people who would quickly condemn another for saying "I'll cast a spell for you" or "I'll pray to my gods/goddesses" or anything else which is, essentially, the same principle as prayer but comes from a different belief system,

If a person says "I'll pray for you" for something good and also accepts when a reciprocal offer is made in the same good faith, regardless the religion, there should be no issue.

"If I can do it, anyone can"

This, along with its counterparts "If I can do it, you can", "if you can do it, I/anyone can".

The latter of these is actually very rude. It is another way of diminishing their achievements. It is like saying that this person did something so it must be something anyone can do.

Telling a person that they can do something because you did, that's very assumptive. It's not true that everyone can do something. You may well have lost weight, ran a marathon, trekked across Thailand or become CEO of everything but that doesn't mean everyone has the ability to do those things.

Again, as words of encouragement, this is not terrible but it can have the opposite effect on some people. If a person is struggling with something, it is not always helpful to tell them that you did it therefore they have no reason why they can't. Everyone has different abilities and challenges. It is much better to say 'well done for trying' than it is to say 'you're not good enough because you haven't achieved what I think you should'.

Summary

While I do not mean to offend anyone who says these things, and I am not about to tell people not to say them, this is an observation. People use all sorts of sayings, phrases, and idioms all the time. Some of those phrases don't mean much at all, some don't mean what people think they mean, and some mean different things depending on context.

The majority of people will most likely think nothing of any of the phrases I have stated but as a linguist/etymologist/lexicologist, I have a fascination with language and the way it is used, and this is my observation.